Too young to have my baby?

angel223_2

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pinknfluffy0

I haven't read through it all but have you thought how you are going to afford a baby? Have you got a job? A home?

redstararnie76

Hi,
Just wanted to repeat Beenie's point - whilst there is no 'right' age for a pregnancy, according to a doctor friend of mine, 16/17 is physically about the best age to give birth! As for mentally, I'm not sure that any pregnant woman is ever 'mentally' ready to give birth - I certainly wasn't!!!

Well done on making such a difficult decision (there is never any right answers, only you can decide what's right for you). Having recently given birth for the second time (at 33, I now feel really old...), I would strongly suggest that you start thinking about what support you have/need. You said that your parents will support you - that's fantastic. How about joining the pregnancy thread on this forum (if you haven't already). There you can ask all sorts of questions, and hear about other people's pregnancies - it can really help. Perhaps also ask your gp/midwife when you see one, if there is any support groups in your areas for young mums - some areas, they get other women to 'mentor' you - that may be easier than talking to family or friends about what you are experiencing, also they may be able to give you help that other people can't.

Regarding the comments some posters have made on here - no relationship comes with a guarentee. Just because the two of you are young, doesn't mean that you will automatically split up - it may make things harder, and yes, you should think about yourself, but don't automatically write off your boyfriend. As for his parents, they are doing the same as your parents in a way - they are worried about their 'little boy' and what impact a baby will have on his life... give them a chance to get used to the fact that this baby is going to exist and will be their grandchild and you may find that they actually become a source of help and support (or not!).

Again, your age won't make you any less of a great mother than an older woman - in fact, part of me is jealous as I'm damn sure that you will have more energy than I have! Just don't be too scared or proud to accept help when it's offered. The truth is that all pregnant women and new mums can use some support, regardless of age.

fly_dragon_fly

i had my son when i was 16 i feel pregnant at 15 had been with the bloke 2 years when i feel pregnant and it really isn't as scary as people make out.

i use to go to a yaps group ( young able parents ) and this did me the world of good. although i did have a few arguements with a few of the girls because although i was 16 i wanted to get away from that sterotype teen mums get i was nothing like that and did everything in my power to prove it.

i didn't read all the replys but i'm guessing your keeping your baby? good luck i would never turn back the time i have with my son and would actually say i'm glad i had him when i was 16 as i wouldn't want one now i dont think. xx good luck x

redstararnie76

Oh, and I just wanted to add;
In terms of money, babies don't need everything that shops would like to sell us, and they certainly don't care if their things are new or secondhand. When you first have a baby, the main things you need are a way to get it home from the hospital (a car seat - this should be new as if it's second hand it may have been in an accident, and you can't risk that!), something for it to wear, and somewhere for it to sleep. The lovely ladies on the pregnancy thread will help you to decide on what things you really do need - and ebay can be a useful, cheap way of buying things. BUT - don't buy too quickly as you are sure to find that people will quite often offer you bits when they realise that you are pregnant. THIS ISN'T OUT OF PITY - other mums like to pass things on as it's much more money saving at a time when most people appreciate this... I had relatives and work colleagues all suddenly appearing with bits that they had at home, some of them I didn't even know that well...

pinknfluffy0

Babies arnt that expensive, they do get more so as they get older. But you can do charity shops, hand downs etc. BUT you still need money for food a place to live and the basics. Please think about how you are going to get a job at 16 that will provide what you need.

redstararnie76

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

Babies arnt that expensive, they do get more so as they get older. But you can do charity shops, hand downs etc. BUT you still need money for food a place to live and the basics. Please think about how you are going to get a job at 16 that will provide what you need.

Hi,
OP's parents (whom I presume she still lives with), have said that they will support her in this - she really needs to talk to them about exactly how this will pan out....

pinknfluffy0

But for how long?
babies are not toys they are a life time commitment and plans need to be in place.

hngrymummy

OP has made her decision so let's support her in it. Rather than putting obstacles in her way why not give her solutions?

It will be possible for you to get the qualifications you need, as long as you realise it will be hard work. It will be possible for you to support you child, as long as you are prepared to put the hard work in. Can you see the theme here

You can get a surprising amount of baby stuff donated to you from friends, relatives and work colleagues (as has been previously mentioned), and there are groups such as freecycle and freegle which could be useful. You will need to budget for everything else. Just remember that time saving solutions can cost more money, such as home cooking vs jars of babyfood. You don't need all the fancy gizmos on offer, just enough to keep your baby safe and well.

Will you stay with your parents once it's born, or do you need to get on the council house list? Don't be afraid to ask for support from people, especially if it will help you get whatever qualifications you need.

This will be a lot of hard work for you, and if you're prapared to do what it takes, you will succeed.

jimbms

Well now you have made your decission you now need to look to how you can do things, first of all if your bf goes so be it, he will still have to help you bring this child up and don't worry I am sure there are plenty of decent blokes around who will still fancy you and take you both on board, as for what others have said do look around at free cycle etc and dont forget the freebie sites where you can register for lots of free samples etc, good luck and I hope your child brings you plenty of happiness.