Too young to have my baby?

LilacPixie

Cait

Glad you have made a decision. I am pregnant with my 3rd baby and I will be 30 by the time it arrives (touch wood early days and all that) Judging by when you found out think we are due around the same time. I do not handle pregnancy well despite my age and never have done. I also have concerns or fears about the birth and the future but its normal.

Where we will live, car, money, my job are all issues that needs to be addressed by us and i'm guessing you too.

Where will you live? Will John live there too? will you take driving lessons? I am guessing his wage is quite low so will you need to work too, childcare etc etc.

My advice would be if you plan on living with John try and do so from early on as you will need the support during the night. Get to your GP you can get vitamins from them and a form to apply for healthy start vouchers for fruit and veg. Get started on folic acid if you are under 12 weeks preg. Don't over tire yourself and try and enjoy it.

lindseykim13

samandona wrote: »

Who were all the posters you were refering to? Im not sure I know enough about anyone who's posted (other than the regulars on the pregnancy threads) to assertain whether or not they have kids?

The ones that mentioned that their age and how they don't feel ready for kids (kind of said they didn't have any didn't they?)

lindseykim13

Hi cait just wanted to say after reading your updates its normal to worry, i worried more with my 3rd than i did with the 1st one. It's just something mums do lol I have nightmares about mine falling down stairs etc bloomin scary!
Anyway i found i worried less as the preg went on and by the time it got near the birth i just wanted him to hurry up and get on with it lol
I just wanted to comment on the financial side of things, babies can be as cheap or as expensive as you want. I bought everything second hand (carboots are the best) i used to get milk powder vouchers for the baby and nappies were the supermarket versions which are very good. They don't cost as much as it's made out to be, you'll also get child benefit which helps pay for things. I think kids as they get older are the ones that cost (i think they're pretty cheap for the first few years) if only my ds who is now 8 could just survive on food and water and didn't NEED games consoles and a mountain of toys then he'd still be cheap too.
If you breastfeed then thats a bonus moneysaving teqnique although i was too chicken to do it with my first 2 it's worth having a go. Presents from relatives are better if they are things you actually need so drop some hints.
Don't panic though you have plenty of time to plan everything out a notepad and pen are very handy :rotfl:

nikki2804

I was the kind of person who was adamant they were never having children, I hated babysitting etc. I fell pregnant at 20, had the baby at 21. My son has just turned one (last wednesday) and having him was the best thing I ever did.

Okay the 8 months of morning/afternoon and evening sickness and intense heart burn were hard. I was scared witless of the pain of labour (he got stuck in the end do i got a spinal block - no pain) but mostly I was scared that I didn't know how to be a mum.

When I was handed my son I literally burst into tears because I didn't know what to do. There are no instruction manuals for babies but you learn very quickly. Motherhood is the most rewarding career you will ever have.

Remember you will be entitled to the health in pregnancy grant (if you are 25 weeks by a certain date - they are scrapping this) a sure start maternity grant if you have a low income, child benefit, child tax credits and working tax credits (if working) All income dependent but better in your pocket than not.

When family members ask what you want for the child do not be afraid to ask. Family love to help and it helps you get ready. I actually had virtual strangers giving me baby presents.

In regards to college/uni - many campuses have creches on site. If not they assist with childcare. You will get there it may just take a little longer than you thought. Maybe take a couple of years out. Cherish your babies first few years, you never get those moments back.

Lastly, congratulations!!

jackieglasgow

Good luck Cait. My darling niece was 16 in January too, and I can't imagine her being so grown up and sensible about the huge decision you have had to make.

I am surprised thought that the only options being discussed were abortion or raising the child yourself, does no one consider adoption to be a sensible option these days for unplanned pregnancies? I know two children personally who were born to very young women who weren't ready to be mothers, who have had a lovely life, and been doted upon by their previously childless families.

fireflycatcher

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I am surprised thought that the only options being discussed were abortion or raising the child yourself, does no one consider adoption to be a sensible option these days for unplanned pregnancies? I know two children personally who were born to very young women who weren't ready to be mothers, who have had a lovely life, and been doted upon by their previously childless families.

I suggested that in PM to Cait:)

BeenieCat

I got told when i was 17 and pregnant, that biologically i was in my prime for pregnancy/birth. That was from a midwife and a GP.

fireflycatcher

BeenieCat wrote: »

I got told when i was 17 and pregnant, that biologically i was in my prime for pregnancy/birth. That was from a midwife and a GP.

Did you keep the baby?

PicnicBasket_2

I think you are brave and sensible to think this over as carefully as you have; you sound mature for your age and someone who will be a very loving and caring mother.

You have mentioned your parents briefly, and it sounds as if they will be very supportive to you. Don't forget how this will turn their life upside-down - I'm not saying this to put you off, but to remind you to appreciate fully the impact it will have on them - financially, in terms of worry and their time and their new found freedom as you grow up. You will need their help in a myriad of ways and believe me, they will have sleepless nights worrying about you and your baby too, because they love you so much. This impact will be multiplied if you don't pull your weight after your child is born. Don't take them for granted, will you - remember to show them how much you appreciate them.

They will undoubtably adore your child when s/he arrives, but remember that whatever your age, your child is ultimately your choice and therefore your responsibility. You are going to have to grow up extremely fast.

Good luck - I'm sure you'll be a great mum.

BeenieCat

AmandaAyrshire wrote: »

Did you keep the baby?

Yeah he's 7 now And it was a good pregnancy and birth.