Too young to have my baby?

fireflycatcher

Not going without a visit to the arms You have to stop thinking this is about your age, and be strong about your decision.

fireflycatcher

Crossposted

Cait2

Thanks both of you.

Night Amanda (if you're gone..?)

sp1987

Cait2 wrote: »

Thank you for the support once again everybody:o

iwanttosave...... were you scared? And anybody else..... because I can't sleep tonight, I still want to keep Baby that's final, but I'm now scared and having nightmares something goes wrong cos of my age:(

I fell pregnant at 21, on the pill too. I'd never held a baby before, I didn't know anything about nappies, or prams, or children.

It depends what sort of person you are. I'm not a drinker so have not lost out on being able to throw up on my shoes every night. I just take him everywhere I would have gone normally. It just takes absolutely forever to get out of the house. He's not yet coated me in sick/other bodily waste in public, so they can be quite well behaved. Ours has to be woken up or he would sleep forever I think.

If you want to keep the baby and you are sure you can do your utmost to provide the stability and love that a child will need, then go for it. There are so many mothers (of all ages, 16 and 40) who have children for all the wrong reasons, cannot look after them properly and will not take the time to nurture them. I saw a little boy in Tesco the other day, he stopped about 3ft from me and was laughing and so happy, until his mother screamed at him "Get the f%#* back here you NAUGHTY BOY". Literally, my heart sank, poor little thing. I wanted to take him home.

There's absolutely no reason as to why a baby should prevent or stunt your career plans. If anything, it has made my plans more concrete as I have somebody else to have a ''proper'' job for. Admittedly it may be harder to fit in education (I was doing my uni finals when pregnant so just missed the problems of being too fat to move and too hot to sit still!).

The sort of people who will criticise a good parent based on age alone (without any reference to maturity, stability, intelligence, etc) will be the sorts of people who are insecure in their own abilities as a parent. You might personally be better at 32 than 16, but you may also be better at 16 than the next person is at 32. I know me at 22 versus me at 32 is much better, I'd have got far too used to suiting myself to adjust easily to having someone else's needs come first always.

shellsuit

Cait2 wrote: »

Thank you for the support once again everybody:o

iwanttosave...... were you scared? And anybody else..... because I can't sleep tonight, I still want to keep Baby that's final, but I'm now scared and having nightmares something goes wrong cos of my age:(

I think almost every woman has worries and nightmares that something will go wrong.

But that's just the start of the worry, because there are plenty more years of it once baby is here!

I still worry and my eldest are 14 and 12!

Mojisola

One of the girls I went to school with got pregnant at 15 - very shocking at the time! She had a steady boyfriend and had the baby. They had the support of both families and stayed together. She had two more fairly quickly and, while the rest of us were studying, travelling and starting careers she was being a full-time Mum.

I met her again just after I had my first child. Her eldest had left school and the other two were in their last couple of years. She had gone back to college and was just starting a brilliant new job. She was still happily married to the children's father. So now I was coping with a baby and she was launching herself into a new life.

We all live life differently and it works out for most of us.

joanne_d_3

Mellowyellow wrote: »

It was supposed to be a row of clapping smileys, they must have malfunctioned:o:rotfl:

Lol , thought it was some "secret language" that i just didnt understand lol

andrealuton

I didn't read through every post on here, but in the first two pages I couldn't find any mention of adoption. Abortion and keeping the child are not your only two options. I agree with what everyone here has said about speaking to professionals about your choice. They'll be able to counsel you in your decision. Maybe look into adoption?

ETA- just read through and saw you've made a decision. All the best with that.

margaretclare

Just wanted to wish you all the very best, Cait. My past experiences are irrelevant to your generation - I could be your gran, or even your great-gran! Just that I could weep for you young women. We thought we'd got it sorted, that our daughters/granddaughters wouldn't have to go through the kind of things we did.

The Pill is NOT infallible - better realise that. It also may not be the best form of contraception for a very young woman whose body is still immature and whose cervix is still developing. Nor should abortion be considered just as a method of contraception. That baby did not ask to be conceived.

One thing no one has yet mentioned - are there any marriage plans on the horizon??

As you want to be a veterinary nurse, then you need experienced help and advice as to how best to go about it. You've had some good, factual, down-to-earth experience already from a veterinary nurse. If you want some more, try Brackenhurst College (part of Nottingham Trent University). They do a National Certificate in Animal Management. I can tell you more if you'd like, and people there would give you a lot of help. Or another of the former Agricultural Colleges, the same.

Your education is important and, no matter what happens, should not be pushed to one side.

With very, very best wishes

cornbuddy

Hi Cait2. I was in a similar position to you - fell pregnant at 16 whilst still at school. I kept my baby - she is now 24 and doing very well in her chosen career. I had the same thoughts as you when I found out - the difference being we didn't tell anyone until I was 6 months gone!!!! It was hard work but I wouldn't change it for the world. I went on to have two more children, the youngest is now 16 and I am still young enough to enjoy them and my own life. Good luck with whatever you decide. Only you can know if you are ready to be a mum