Opinions..

Swampmonster

Seconded!

You need to tell him how you feel.

My Husband is one of eight children and a twin aswell. Money was tight so birthdays were never a big thing in his house but they were very big in mine so in all fairness he didn't know any better and i hadn't cottoned onto this.

Once I told him with clear guidelines of what I expect and I don't mean spending alot of money as we haven't got it, I mean making a fuss, being kind, not rowing, normal meal cooked but with candle on table and not having to wash up etc.

Thats what we've done ever since and it works and he was glad I told him as he just wants a quiet life!

blabberwort

I agree, if my OH did this to me I would be fuming. It's about acknowledging that you care enough about someone to remember a special day. If my OH didnt get me a card for whatever reason I would have at least expected him to do something else such as cook tea or something. If you are upset then you need to say something as otherwise you are setting a presidence for the rest of your special days (anniversarys/birthdays etc etc). It shouldnt matter if he's interested in celebrating his borthday or not it's about him acknowleging that you do.

OOh I could go on for hours, as I find it really horrible that someone who says they love you doesnt even acknowlege a birthday with anything other than a verbal happy birthday.

shellsuit

blabberwort wrote: »

I agree, if my OH did this to me I would be fuming. It's about acknowledging that you care enough about someone to remember a special day. If my OH didnt get me a card for whatever reason I would have at least expected him to do something else such as cook tea or something. If you are upset then you need to say something as otherwise you are setting a presidence for the rest of your special days (anniversarys/birthdays etc etc). It shouldnt matter if he's interested in celebrating his borthday or not it's about him acknowleging that you do.

OOh I could go on for hours, as I find it really horrible that someone who says they love you doesnt even acknowlege a birthday with anything other than a verbal happy birthday.

Him saying happy birthday to her just takes the pish anyway.

How was it happy when he didn't do anything nice for her, moaned at her, then let her cook his bloody tea?

Selfish git.

LJM

it wouldnt bother me at the end of the day it is just a card he remembered by saying happy birthday to you, we dont usually do cards to each other anyway as we both feel its a waste of money that could be put to better use ie our girls. this is just my opinion we dont need bits of paper or cards to say how much we love each other and i would deem myself quite insecure if i needed a card for him to show me he cares. but in your situation how do you know he doesnt have something else planned or why not just ask him why he didnt get you one

shellsuit

He remembered by saying happy birthday? So that should make it all right? lol

When you say happy birthday to someone it means you wish them a happy day.

She didn't have a happy day and it was because of him, so he needn't have wished her one at all.

flippin36

My OH hasn't bought me a card for years. He knows I'm not a card type of person. They make the house look cluttered . I'm always a little puzzled by people who get really hung up over cards because its really not that important to me. It has been some years since my OH has bought me a prezzie too, I would much prefer to choose clothes or make up, then I just tell him what I bought. This year I have organised a little party for a select few, I wouldn't like my OH to do that for me... I make my own happiness.

pinkclouds

wiltedwillow wrote: »

would you be annoyed if your husband didn't even bother to get you a birthday card and when you mentioned it you were told 'i did say happy birthday'

I do not feel this is acceptable, I have spent the day doing house hold chores, its just another day to him and now he's making out I'm the one who is asking for too much!

Depends on context and whether it is normal for your household/family. In your case, it is clearly unacceptable for your spouse to not give you a birthday card. It doesn't matter what other families do - it's what is acceptable to you and your family. (But, no, it wouldn't annoy me. I prefer choosing "gifts" for myself whenever I need, or sometimes want, them.)

January20

OP, I would be incandescent if a partner of mine did and said this!

LEJC

I suppose its no big deal giving/receiving cards for birthdays etc as long as the ground rule is agreed before your birthday....Personally if I didnt get a card for my birthday from my husband....he wouldnt need to send me a card the year after,as he wouldnt be around!
I agree that cards are a waste of money and we have a budget of a very small amount,but its surprising what you can do with a pound....
I think its all to do with how he treated the situation...for example no one deserves to be forgotton on their birthday and its the small things that make the difference like breakfast in bed or that extra hug...maybe even a text during the day....in summary if you dont feel he values you for who you are then you both need to talk....

Fluffi

wiltedwillow wrote: »

Hi

would you be annoyed if your husband didn't even bother to get you a birthday card and when you mentioned it you were told 'i did say happy birthday'

I do not feel this is acceptable, I have spent the day doing house hold chores, its just another day to him and now he's making out I'm the one who is asking for too much!

thanks

Wilted

Yes I'd be fuming - assuming that this isn't your first birthday since you've been together? Is this your first birthday since you've got married? Maybe he thinks he doesn't need to try anymore. However if its your first birthday as a couple then maybe you just have different opinions on the importance of birthdays.