Opinions..

jimbms

We have been married for 26yrs and never once bought each other a card as we believe they are a waste, mind you we always go overboard on the pressies but who cares.

Caroline73_2

While I think the OP's husband was completely out of line, I don't think the OP has helped her cause much.

Before our birthdays my husband and I discuss what we are doing - make reservations at a restaurant, organise a babysitter etc.

The OP came home with food from her parent for herself as she thought her husband would have made himself something already. Where is the partnership here. I've been with my husband for 8 years and would never dream of assuming that he would have made himself something without consulting me or vice versa - we know if one of us will be out at meal time, never assume. Then theOP cooked him something to avoid a row.

I think there are far more serious communication issues in this relationship than the birthday. I hope you sort this out OP.

LEJC

jimbms wrote: »

We have been married for 26yrs and never once bought each other a card as we believe they are a waste, mind you we always go overboard on the pressies but who cares.

but at least the fact that you treat eachother with gifts shows respect for eachother....and that is what this comes down to....him not respecting her enough to do what she deserves on her birthday.
Its not about the buying of cards..if both are comfortable with that then there is no need to exchange a card...but this mans actoins show a total disrespect for his wife.
My birthday falls on a significant day in the calendar when most people are getting over their new year hangovers and my husband always goes out to make the day special with little thoughtful things....he always asks what I want present wise and as its near christmas then theres usually nothing I need but that doesnt mean a bar of chocolate thoughtfully wrapped isnt greatfully received.... this year I RECEIVED A NEW KITCHEN MOP...at my request....but thats the point it was what I had asked for...im just saying happy birthday to the lady when prompted and then acting as if it was a normal day and not her birthday shows no affection or respect for her.

red_devil

people who say cards are a waste of money they may be to you but what about the person whose bday it is? Maybe they would like a card. a nice card displayed can mean alot. Its about what the receiver would like surely.

Caroline73_2

red_devil wrote: »

people who say cards are a waste of money they may be to you but what about the person whose bday it is? Maybe they would like a card. a nice card displayed can mean alot. Its about what the receiver would like surely.

I agree. I think cards are a waste of money but my mum and husband would die if they didn't get one so I always send them cards.

I hate adding up how much money has been spent on cards for me each year and thinking how it could be better spent on a charitable donation.

Any

red_devil wrote: »

people who say cards are a waste of money they may be to you but what about the person whose bday it is? Maybe they would like a card. a nice card displayed can mean alot. Its about what the receiver would like surely.

I am not saying I don't buy them... just not for my hubby. That was mutualy agreed. Rather spend more on his pressie and cake.

My best friend is cards mad - she sends us card (by post) even for our wedding anniversary, even though she spends half her life in our house... I think if I didn't get her a card for her Bday I would be best friend-less....:-)

jackieb

red_devil wrote: »

people who say cards are a waste of money they may be to you but what about the person whose bday it is? Maybe they would like a card. a nice card displayed can mean alot. Its about what the receiver would like surely.

I buy cards for my family (children, parents, etc). I rarely got from my husband so I gradually stopped buying him cards too. It's really not a big deal for us.

red_devil

if its a mutual agreement i think its ok but apart from that i think you have to think what would then receiver like.

My sister once sent my son a notelet not a card a notelet with a cat on it was unsuitable for a small boy. She should have thought what would he like!

cards are not dear these days anyway. In card factory you cant get 10 for a pound.

mistrihelen

OP sounds very low - how are you feeling today, are you okay?

I do find it odd that your husband thinks he can get away without marking your birthday at all. I'm one of those who tends to think cards a waste, but I nearly always still buy them and if not it doesn't matter because I normally would have gifts and a meal or something planned! What's he like at Christmas and Valentine's Day? You've only been married three years, so it makes me sad to think of him taking you for granted like this. Is he the sort that would be open to a conversation about it?

DKLS

wiltedwillow wrote: »

why did your dad not give you enough food for you and hubby? If you were to take it home to eat it seems a bit odd that he only gave you one portion.

Because it was late and I assumed he would have already eaten


Before you have hubby hung drawn and quartered.. Is it possible he has a surprise up his sleeve for the weekend? Whisking you away or a romantic dinner out?

No as he doesn't do holidays or dinners out, there are no surprises

What a miserable sod, I am so sorry, he is in dire need of re-training.

Any wrote: »

Can I merry you??;)

Sorry a tad late I found the one for me , before any thinks I am an extravagant fool with my wife, last Birthday she only spent £60 of the 1K that was on offer.