Opinions..

wiltedwillow

mistrihelen wrote: »

OP sounds very low - how are you feeling today, are you okay?

I do find it odd that your husband thinks he can get away without marking your birthday at all. I'm one of those who tends to think cards a waste, but I nearly always still buy them and if not it doesn't matter because I normally would have gifts and a meal or something planned! What's he like at Christmas and Valentine's Day? You've only been married three years, so it makes me sad to think of him taking you for granted like this. Is he the sort that would be open to a conversation about it?

Thank you for asking, I am better today, but still felt sad yesterday. He didn't get round to buying my xmas presents and he doesn't see the point in valentines!

Doom_and_Gloom

To be honest I am a card hater however for my 21st that has not long been and gone my fiance got me a card with my name on it and a joke that was perfect for us as a couple :rotfl:. I don't like the fact that it is an obviously expencive card or that it's a waste of trees however I will be able to look at it however old I get and have a laugh from it so just this once I let it go . He also did a lot of other things as he wanted to make my 21st special but then he does do a lot for me day to day and he always goes out of his way for my birthdays.

OP - obviously you were expecting something from your husband and after only 3 years of marriage he should still be making the effort for you when it comes down to it. Letting you do the chores and having a go at you about not doing you food :mad: I know what I would have done in your situation - shown him the door and told him to fudge off . He wouldn't be in my good books either if he was my husband. My parents have been married for over 3 decades and my dad gets a card for my ma every year for her birthday without fail as well as a gift - if it is a big birthday he'll take time off work and suprise her with a holiday :eek:. A holiday is a bit much but a gift, that he wasn't guilted into getting, is usual from a partner. I feel really sorry for you. Have a weird looking hug :grouphug:.

poorly_scammo

wiltedwillow wrote: »

He didn't get round to buying my xmas presents

That's appalling. I know I haven't met him but he sounds awful. Totally selfish and pig ignorant.

I'd have hit the roof and he'd have been wearing the dinner.

wiltedwillow

maybe i have been too easy going, ive never expected a huge fuss, just some form of acknowledgement, i know some people on here are saying a card is waste of money but anything would have done.

I have told him all this and he seems to think he's fixed it with two bottles of perfume, he doesn't understand where i'm coming from.

hurricanewyn

I feel really sorry for you OP - it's not really about the card, but more about the consideration. when our kids were very little and moneywas tight, me and OH didn't buy each other cards and gifts (we still don't for Xmas - we prefer to spend the money on the presents for the littleys), but we'd always do something. Breakfast in bed, no housework for the day, a lie in - just things that make you feel special on your day.
I hope you can sort this out and get him to see - maybe showing him this thread just so he can see how other people have reacted to what's going on will make him understand why you're upset and not that impressed with afterthought perfume

valos_mummy

wiltedwillow wrote: »

maybe i have been too easy going, ive never expected a huge fuss, just some form of acknowledgement, i know some people on here are saying a card is waste of money but anything would have done.

I have told him all this and he seems to think he's fixed it with two bottles of perfume, he doesn't understand where i'm coming from.

Well, most men aren't mind readers - even my OH and he's fab! By cooking his dinner, and doing stuff for him he sees that his rubbish behaviour has no consequences so why should he change? You need to spell it out for him; you are upset by his actions (or lack of), 2 bottles of perfume bought under duress does not fix the problem. He should want to make you happy; and if not, WHY not?

He needs to understand that considerate husband = happy wife. Unhappy wife = no chores, no dinner, no nothing. And mean it. To hell with the arguments, he needs to be argued with! For as long as it takes until he finally gets it. This is what you need to feel happy and appreciated. He either needs to step up and do it, or accept that from now on he will be doing all his own housework etc. Like I said before, you're his wife not his skivvy.

euronorris

Hi OP.

How are you feeling today? Have you made any progress on this issue, or not?

If you need to vent, you know where we all are!

x

wiltedwillow

hello

just noticed this reply. I'm ok thanks for asking. No, no progress, I received the perfumes and have told him how i felt, but I really don't think he gets it and probably never will.

He thinks he's a real catch and ive been unreasonable about the whole issue.

jakem_2

wiltedwillow wrote: »

dad cooked me a birthday meal for me to bring back home, he got the hump and asked me 'wheres mine?'!!!! so I had to make him some dinner!

Ooohhh, That would make me soooo mad, and I would have not made him any dinner either.

This marriage is only 3 years old, gawd knows what he will be like a few years down the line.

What is he like with Xmas?, does he take you out for the odd meal at the weekends, or cook you a meal sometimes, help around the home etc

wiltedwillow

no meals out, does make dinner now and then, washes the dishes, brings in the washing and sorts the car out - maintenance. Xmas is a no show, i do the decs, he cant be bothered with that or presents.