Opinions..

Lily1

I'm afraid I have one exactly the same. He uses the excuse that I would know how much he spent if he bought me anything as I look after our finances. This has backfired in the past when I have been really annoyed and spent a lot more on myself than he would ever have done. I think some men really don't understand that we need a little attention now and again! Happy birthday by the way.

Spirit_2

If you usually mark special occassions then it is mean that he has not made something special of your birthday and when you are feeling a bit less hurt you should ask him why not.

Prepare to be open minded rather than a victim, there may be an underlying problem....depression etc.

If on the other hand he has simply been inconsiderate then....treat yourself, take a day off and do something you enjoy....seize back responsibility for enjoying yourself.

**confuzzled**

wiltedwillow wrote: »

Married for 3 years and birthday was yesterday, dad cooked me a birthday meal for me to bring back home, he got the hump and asked me 'wheres mine?'!!!! so I had to make him some dinner!

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: OMG I'd have told him to stick it where the sun don't shine!!:mad:
I'm assuming he's not a paraplegic(sp?) and can actually do things for himself...like heat something up?!?!?!:mad: I think you need to explain to him why you feel so upset and then, when his birthday next comes around, do sweet FA for him and see how he likes it!

I'm lucky that my DH makes a fuss over mine as he knows how difficult it is having it so close to xmas:) and to be honest I don't expect much as I refuse to allow him to pay the inflated xmas prices for a meal/night out:o A nice meal cooked by him is my perfect birthday present, anything else is a bonus:p:D

ETA: Hope you had a ncie day regardless:) and I'm glad to hear you've got a fab Dad who cooks for you instead..maybe you should send your OH to your Dads for training:p

jcr16

it wouldn't bother me at all.

hubby and i have said for a long time about not getting cards. however when he does , it completely blows me away as he always gets very sentimental ones.

but me personally i'm happy just being with my hubby and family for the day. a card isn't important, when you know how much they love you.

however it does sound like you and hubby need to discuss the matter in depth as t sounds like a card means more to you than perhaps your hubby know's.

however , maybe he is pretending not to care and be rude and then is gonna completely spoil you at weekend by takng you away or something( but then i do look on bright side of everything )

goggle

Some people just don't think Birthdays are a big deal
One of my mates loves birthdays & goes overboard (presents, weekends away etc & send cards/presents to all his mates on their birthdays) - another couldn't care less, hates fuss, can't see the point of celebrating etc

Pee

My boyfriend usually gets me a birthday card, with a little prompting beforehand, and will happily do what ever I want to do on the day, provided I plan it. He always gets me flowers, because he gave me flowers the first time and I was so pleased and grateful that he knew it was the right thing. He has on occassion bought me a present out of the blue, just because I have admired something or he has seen something he thinks I would like. One of his friends told me in the early days that the last time he was aware my boyfriend had bought a present was for his mum and only because this friend suggested it.

That said he certainly wouldn't expect me to do any chores on my birthday.

I think the problem is you are focusing on one thing that he didn't do which sums up a general feeling of a lack of consideration.

Could you tell him what you want, maybe him to cook dinner at the weekend and watch your choice of DVD together, and would that then make you feel cared for?

shellsuit

I couldn't forget my OH's birthday and he couldn't ever forget mine.

Mine is the 22nd Dec and his is the 23rd Dec lol


wiltedwillow, I can't believe you cooked for him aswell! Happy belated Birthday to you xx

brians_daughter

goggle wrote: »

Some people just don't think Birthdays are a big dea

Yes this is true, but if the ops hubby knows how important it is for her that he acknowledges her birthday then surely he should? By not recognising the day he has hurt adn upset her, when all this could be avoided by a simple card and by him doing something nice (not necessarily a present, but a thoughtful act) for his wife

skylight

wiltedwillow wrote: »

Married for 3 years and birthday was yesterday, dad cooked me a birthday meal for me to bring back home, he got the hump and asked me 'wheres mine?'!!!! so I had to make him some dinner!

No you didn't. You don't HAVE to do anything. A nice smile with "Oh, Dad made this just for me, But you know where the fridge is."


And :T to your Dad! I love Dad's. Far better than OH's, much more reliable.

SDG31000

I have to say that I may come across as a self centred so and so, but if my Hubby had ever done this to me I would be cooking all the presents I had brought for him in that past as his dinner. I'm sure he would love poulet a la computer parts, Or I would have told him that his dinner was in the same place as my card and present.
On my birthday it's the house rule that I don't do housework or cook anything at all. Even if that means I get ready meals heated up for me or sausage, chips and beans for lunch, I don't mind. I know that Hubby and the monsters are putting in some effort and thinking of me.
wiltedwillow I would sit your husband down and tell him exactly how his actions have made you feel and refuse to let him dismiss your feelings. Then go shopping and buy yourself something pretty, sparkly and expensive. Sapphires have always been my favourite xxx