Opinions..

flippin36

pinkclouds wrote: »

Depends on context and whether it is normal for your household/family. In your case, it is clearly unacceptable for your spouse to not give you a birthday card. It doesn't matter what other families do - it's what is acceptable to you and your family. (But, no, it wouldn't annoy me. I prefer choosing "gifts" for myself whenever I need, or sometimes want, them.)

Yes this is a very good and obvious point. If OP's OH would normally make more of a fuss in previous years, it would certainly be hurtful if he suddenly decided not to bother, without discussing it beforehand and then just react as if its no big deal when she told him she wasn't happy. And as Pinkclouds says it really is irrelevant how other families feel about birthdays.

JoeyG

What exactly is a birthday card except an expensive way of saying happy birthday? and why on earth would you expect one from someone you see every day?

Much better if he did something that actually required some thought... I assume he doesn't normally lift a finger so it wouldn't be too hard to make a difference once a year!

LEJC

JoeyG wrote: »

What exactly is a birthday card except an expensive way of saying happy birthday? and why on earth would you expect one from someone you see every day?

Much better if he did something that actually required some thought... I assume he doesn't normally lift a finger so it wouldn't be too hard to make a difference once a year!

A birthday card shows you are thinking of someone on their special day ...and as long as you were not expecting one from your OH then yes its ok not to receive one ...but I think the whole point is the fact that no it wouldnt be too hard to make a difference once a year ....and clearly the OP would have liked a card or/and a small gesture neither of which were given...hence the posting

wiltedwillow

anything would have done a card or a small gift. It's not my first birthday with him, he never bothers and knows it bothers me! which was why i asked him to make the effort this year.

He has now ordered me two perfumes but doesn't realise the point and I do feel mean as it's our money, when he could have just spent a couple of quid and made my day.

sarahs999

Why exactly did you marry this lovely-sounding chap? It sounds like you knew what you were letting yourself in for if he's always been this thoughtful... not that I'm excusing him. But I just wouldn't stand for thoughtless behaviour.

flippin36

wiltedwillow, what do you do for his birthday?

SugarSpun

I would text him and say, You booked a restaurant for dinner to surprise me didn't you? You knew I'd love that... I know you wouldn't ignore my birthday.

If he has even an ounce of shame he'll book something. It's still only lunchtime...

Happy Birthday, by the way

euronorris

skylight wrote: »

No you didn't. You don't HAVE to do anything. A nice smile with "Oh, Dad made this just for me, But you know where the fridge is."

I have to agree with this.

Unfortunately, by making his dinner you effectively told him that it was OK for him to act that way. My response would've been the same as skylight's, or another poster's (forget the name) comment of 'your dinner is probably in the same place as my card and gift. Good luck finding it!'

I think you need to have a bit of a chat about this and let him know that whilst you don't expect expensive gifts etc, you would like to actually see evidence that he wants you to have a happy birthday, not just him saying it. For him to do the cooking, or hoovering etc on that day, for example, would've been great and FREE! And you'd be happy.

But, don't forget to offer and agree on a treat for him on his birthday also!

Oh yes, and Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! x

Amber07

I don't think I would mind getting a verbal 'happy birthday' instead of a card...but if hubby done NOTHING else to indulge me a little in recognition I would not be hapy.

I don't need grand gestures in life, cups of tea, sorting the kids, cooking (or even phoning takeaway) are all little things which would indicate he cares.

wiltedwillow

euronorris wrote: »

I have to agree with this.

Unfortunately, by making his dinner you effectively told him that it was OK for him to act that way. My response would've been the same as skylight's, or another poster's (forget the name) comment of 'your dinner is probably in the same place as my card and gift. Good luck finding it!'

It was late and I felt down anyway and I knew if I didn't do dinner it would end up in a row, so I just did it.