Read our cookies policy.
katfishh wrote: »
How will she ever learn the value of money if you keep bailing her out?
katfishh wrote: »
I'm 21 and just finished Uni. I have worked previously but lived at home whilst at Uni and Mum paid for everything;. I stayed at home for free, and she paid for my toiletries, as well as food, gas and electricity and a private medical insurance (that I never asked for!) . She also paid for holidays abroad for me and my brother every year (brother is two years younger). So she went out of her way to look after you and make sure you had everything whilst you were studying and presumably had no income? She sounds very lovely.
Now I've left Uni Mum says she cant afford to subsidise me and wants me to pay a third of the mortgage, council tax and food bills. I am really angry as its not fair!! :mad: But it is fair for her to spend her money supporting you when you should be self-sufficent?
She is only 50 and is used to working full time so I dont see why I should subsidise her so she can work part time (what she wants now). Its funny how now I leave Uni she says she is 'tired' and needs to slow down! She moans about her commute (3 hours a day) but she should be used to it by now. She may have been tired long before that but chose not to tell you. She may have been struggling to make sure you had everything and now realises that she shouldn't have to fight any more as her giving has put you in a position where you have better prospects and earning capacity. She may have thought that you were adult enough to understand the responsibilities of life and would want to contribute rather than watch her continue to slave away in order to watch you waste your income on travel and socialising. This is a very fast way to alienate people; one of the reasons my OH left his ex-wife because she expected him to pay everything from his salary whilst she wanted to spend hers on expensive shoes and handbags and not contribute to the household if she could help it. I used to have a similar commute and I hated every second of it. I was so happy when I found another job It doesn't mean you want to spend 3hrs a day travelling if you don't have to.
I want to travel and save up to go out with my friends more. I also need money for clothes and going out and I have expensive taste.. Well, no sympathy, sorry. There are things that have to be paid before the things you want get purchased. The money you have left once the bills are paid and the essentials bought is the money you have to spend on frippary.
I am angry that I have to pay a share towards her mortgage - and wants £150 a month!!! This is truely nothing compared to what you will pay in the private sector - which would also be for a house that you don't own. In my area, rent for a tiny 1-bed flat is around £700 a month, a room in a shared house £350. Then factor in all the bills you'd be responsible for and you easily see 3/4 of you income evaporate.
She says the house needs expensive repairs (roof, etc) and she needs to remortgae to do this but why should I pay for her house whan I get no benefit? Whilst I'm hoping that she does indeed spend your inheritance renting anywhere is paying someone elses mortgage. You either do it and live with it or save and buy for yourself. Paying £150 a month gives you a good opportunity to indeed start saving for a deposit - which is a greater luxury than many have who have to shell out a daft amount in rent.
I told all my Uni freinds and they said it was so unfair and they dont have to pay to stay in their homes, My mother is a single parent but she has a full tme job and I dont see why I should subsidise her house!!! Again, why should she subsidise you? Why should she work to pay for your keep? She could get a lodger in.
What do others think? I have told her I am not paying a penny and I will move out.Best of luck. I hope the real world is as pretty as you think it is. I wish all of lifes problems had confronted me when I was your age and knew everything. I think you owe much more to your mum than you realise.
Essential Money | Who & Where are you? | Work & Benefits | Household and travel | Shopping & Freebies | About MSE | The MoneySavers Arms | Covid-19 & Coronavirus Support