working children paying keep - how much?

Voice_of_reason_5

whitewing wrote: »

I think you're a little harsh (assuming OP is genuine). I know plenty of people who bring their children up with no concept of the realities of life and then are surprised when they are upset about being asked to pay rent etc.

I don't necessarily think it's so much the money itself; maybe that the OP is at the stage in life where she feels she has to think about a career rather than a job. Having to worry about finances at that point could be quite hurtful. (It's a bit like your parents redecorating your bedroom when you've gone off to Uni).

Maybe OP's mum could have handled it better?

Maybe her Mother is at the stage of slowing down before she drops dead with exhaustion. A commute of three hours a day equates to two working days a week travelling! .and presuming she works 9-5.30 thats more than an 11 hour day. Poor woman.

..How would OPs Mum have handled it better? [thinks) perhaps she just wants 'spolit brat' to leave?

Voice_of_reason_5

:A

kittykate wrote: »

I keep asking my mum what she wants but she always avoids the question by saying "needs to think about it". I'm feeling a bit weird about it as I've been home from finishing uni a couple of months and still not paid anything and I feel like a scab or something. I want to give her some money but I don't know how much. I earn between £550 and £700 a month, depends on how much overtime I can fight for at work. What do you think a reasonable amount would be?

Sorry if this is a big of a hikacking thread post but I thought it better in here where people know about it.

KKx

Wow! What a wonderful daughter you are. Mine went balistic when I told her she now had to pay her way. (Her expected earning now she has left uni are £22,000).

whitewing

Nicolefury wrote: »

Boo hoo, she isn't going to get it on a plate anymore. That could of happened at anytime, what if her mother had gone through a severe financial crisis whilst she was at uni? She'd have to pay then.

I don't think you come across as a particularly nice person, despite being so responsible financially.

Yes, you are just highlighting the need for all parents to start the financial training of their children at a young age, so that they can cope with the ups and down of budgeting. It shouldn't be a painful reality check - that's all I'm saying.

Nicolefury

How the hell am I not a nice person? You have no idea who or what I am. I'm v popular, with friends who admire how well I look after myself and how I am very good with money. The fact that i'm sensible doesn't make me a horrible person :roll Talking pure rubbish there.

Theres nothing painful about having to pay keep. Surely, the idea of paying for your upkeep couldn't have been alien for all these years.

People need to grow up and face life. You shouldn't need to be mollycoddled for all of time. I was never taught about money management when growing up, but soon grasped it when I had to.

kr15snw

When me and my brothers left school to get full time work we were told 'pay rent or move out' (obviously not as harshly). This meant we got jobs and paid rent!

The rent did depend heavily on our situations. I paid a large percentage as I was only working part time, but doing nothing else. Meaning I was charged the same as my full time brother (costs the same to keep us!) but it was a higher percentage for me (if that makes sense).

But when I went back to college and was working part time my rent was dropped as my parents attitude was I was at uni so they were willing to help me.

Now Ive moved out and am paying my way (well boyfriend is helping) I think my brother is getting a stupidly easy life. But thats another story!

Kids should pay, as I have a friend who has never paid a penny and had everything done for him. Now hes moved out hes convinced hes being ripped off by his landlord and cant get his head around the fact that he no longer has £500+ a month to spend on treats. Hence he is getting in major debt as he keeps spending the money he should be paying on rent / bills on his car for example.
If he had paid towards his families home (and been shown how much it costs) he would understand how much it costs to live!!

whitewing

Nicolefury wrote: »

How the hell am I not a nice person? You have no idea who or what I am. I'm v popular, with friends who admire how well I look after myself and how I am very good with money. The fact that i'm sensible doesn't make me a horrible person :roll Talking pure rubbish there.
.

I have an impression of you from the words you use in your posts, and I think you come across as superior and unsympathetic. That may not stop you being popular with your friends.

Nicolefury

Why should anyone be sympathetic towards a spoilt brat? Theres nothing to be sympathetic towards.

arthur_dent_2

Katfish,

You do I am afraid coome over as spoilt, however I would not have been happy paying £100 a week if I was at home. I am all for children paying rent, espescially if it is as a % of earnings, however that is a lot of money to live at home. You said in your first post that your mum has to commute 3 hours to work and I think this may be at the route of the problem. just as it is not all your mums responsability to take care of all the bills now you are an adult, it is not your responsability to buy your mums house for her. I would try to sit down and talk this over with her saying that shared room accomodation does not cost £100 a week and that perhaps £60 a week would be more reasonable.

moggylover

Nicolefury wrote: »

Why should anyone be sympathetic towards a spoilt brat? Theres nothing to be sympathetic towards.

I don't find you superior or unsympathetic - just your sympathy lies with the poor worn down mum (quite rightly) not the spoilt brat.

Whitewing - I do agree that perhaps mum has spoilt her too long - but surely every decent human being would WANT to do all that they can to try to make their mothers life easier once they can?

This mum has worked hard to make sure her daughter got her good education and so forth - and now is being slammed for wanting the girl to help now working!

Bet the OP will be there with her hands full of her mothers possessions when it comes time to inherit - but, of course, there is no INSTANT benefit in helping her now is there?!

arthur_dent_2

Nicolefury wrote: »

It's not your home, its hers. Get over it. I'm going into my second year at Uni (19), I'm living somewhere which costs £375 a month including bills, but I have to pay for all my own food etc because my parents can't afford to help me. I'm grafting at work to make all the extra cash I can, selling off my stuff, and I'm still helping my mom out occasionally financially, and bought loads of clothes for my unborn nephew!. You are totally selfish. Your moms a generous woman for setting it that low.

To be fair £400 a month for living at home isn't actually low. It is all that you are paying plus £25 to allow for food and yet there is no freedom of being in your own place.