working children paying keep - how much?

whitewing

If you have never had to take control of your own life before or during Uni, then I don't see why you should suddenly be expected to be able to do it the minute you leave.

Voice_of_reason_5

Why do we as parents feel that we must go without to subsidise our teens? Does this teach them the value of money? How to budget? The cost of the real world? If they are molly-coddled whilst workijng and they living at home - will they ever leave?

I dont think this is a wind up - I know people like this! I know a family who are on an average income who actually were bullied into buying their spoilt bratt daughter a brand new car for her birthday! Of course it was on expensive credit, and whats more she didn't even have a driving licence!

Would it not be fair to ask children to pay a contribution to the rent/mortgage, then their share of the utility bills. I for one get really annoyed when my daughter leaves all the lights on all over the house, has 3ft deep baths twice a day, a goes out leaving the central heating on full blast - in an empty house, leaves the TV, iron and stereo on..then goes out. I would happily charge her a portion of the family bill (i.e family of four: 25%). I think teens get away with too much and all it does is teach them that somebody will always be there to bail them out.

Surely if they live at home, work full time, and can afford it - they should pay their share. Why should parent subsidise their (grown up) offspring - if they are struggling themselves?

Nicolefury

whitewing wrote: »

If you have never had to take control of your own life before or during Uni, then I don't see why you should suddenly be expected to be able to do it the minute you leave.

What is really so hard about having to pay your keep once you leave uni? It really isn't hard looking after yourself.

Voice_of_reason_5

But surely just paying a contribution isn't harsh? You still live a t home and presumably have a warm bed, and all the home comforts. Isn't this little madam just being mean? After all - she isn't having to hand over all her wages and with a degree presumably we are looking at a salary of approx £22k (thats got to be at least £1500 take home?)

pboae

Sadly I don't think it is a wind up either, I know *far* too many adults who still think it's their right to sponge off their parents.

katfishh do your poor mother a favour and find your own place, before you bleed her dry completely.

whitewing

Nicolefury wrote: »

What is really so hard about having to pay your keep once you leave uni? It really isn't hard looking after yourself.

No, it isn't if you've been brought up to understand the value of money. But if everything has always been handed to you on a plate and that stops, then of course you are going to be upset.

And if you are then asked to pay the person who handed it all to you on a plate, then you are going to be very upset.

I can't see why you find it so difficult to see things from the OP's (young and spoilt) perspective.

Voice_of_reason_5

whitewing wrote: »

I think you're a little harsh (assuming OP is genuine). I know plenty of people who bring their children up with no concept of the realities of life and then are surprised when they are upset about being asked to pay rent etc.

I don't necessarily think it's so much the money itself; maybe that the OP is at the stage in life where she feels she has to think about a career rather than a job. Having to worry about finances at that point could be quite hurtful. (It's a bit like your parents redecorating your bedroom when you've gone off to Uni).

Maybe OP's mum could have handled it better?

What's wrong with decorating the room when you go off to Uni? I wish my daugher had gone off to Uni. she lived a t home. If she had I'd have called in the health department to fumigate :rotfl:

wifeforlife

I dont think this is a wind up, I was the only person in my circle of friends who paid 'keep' to my parents (both full time workers with good salaries), and the best craic was that the parents of my friends who didnt pay anything, never worked

I think the minimum anyone should pay into their home when working is £50, I would be very happy to let a room for that amount

Cate

whitewing

Nb. I totally agree that OP should pay. But I think she could have been eased more gently into the real world - starting from a young age.

Nicolefury

whitewing wrote: »

No, it isn't if you've been brought up to understand the value of money. But if everything has always been handed to you on a plate and that stops, then of course you are going to be upset.

And if you are then asked to pay the person who handed it all to you on a plate, then you are going to be very upset.

I can't see why you find it so difficult to see things from the OP's (young and spoilt) perspective.

Maybe because I appreciate my parents efforts with me, and made my own effort to make my own life rather than relying on my parents to house me feed me etc.

Boo hoo, she isn't going to get it on a plate anymore. That could of happened at anytime, what if her mother had gone through a severe financial crisis whilst she was at uni? She'd have to pay then.