working children paying keep - how much? 22 August 2006 at 3:38PM edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 345 replies 61.4K views

irchy_mum

I started full time work in the city of London in 1986:eek: My starting salary was £5,500,my Mum took £80 pm from me and I had to pay rail fares as well.When I had an increase of £500 per year,she upped to a round £100.
Mum said if I could afford to live anywhere else on the same money with all my washing done and meals cooked then I was welcome to leave.
I don't think she was being harsh (or greedy) she wanted me to be 'ready' for the real world when I decided to fly the nest.

Jo x:A

ziggy2004

I paid my oarents around a third of my salary when i was living at home and working in addition i was helping out around the house cooking 3-4 times a week as my mum worked late, I had my own cleaning jobs to do and looked after my babysister when i needed to. My parents have actually been brilliant as they used all the money I paid them to help me pay of my debts. It really taught me about managing finances and their help just came as a lovely surprise I believe that if they had not charged me back then I still would have no idea how to handle my finances and would probably be up to my eyes in debt.
X Anne

lotto-dreamer

my older son earns a better salary than I do. After he had been working for a while and had been able to build up some savings (he is quite canny that way) I decided the time had come to ask him to contribute. I decided on a third towards the basic expenses (I have another son in full time education) and thought a third was fair for rent, food, broadband, electricity, council tax etc. It was only when he got a bit upset that I hadn't ironed his favourite shirt that I realised what a very good deal he was getting!! He seemed to think the laundry/chef/cleaning service was included. Might be charging for that too soon

Savvy_Sue

kittykate wrote:

I get paid again on Friday and I'm gonna give my mum some money, I should get around £750 so I think I'll give my mum £200/£250 depending on how much tax and NI I have to pay. Does that sound fair? I'd like to give her more but I can't afford at the moment (got my overdraft and a credit card to pay off as well as learning to drive).

I'm not going to comment on what's fair or not fair: it sounds like quite a chunk of your wages is all!

But there's two ways of looking at it: if you WEREN'T at home, then whatever you needed for rent, bills, food etc would have to come out BEFORE your overdraft and credit card, so it would be good if you could fix on a minimum amount you will ALWAYS give your mum, even when you haven't done as many hours as usual.

On the other hand, the sooner you pay off your credit card and overdraft, the sooner your money will be your own. And I'm sure your parents would like you to be able to clear them ASAP.

kittykate wrote:

I think she does need the money but she doesn't say she does. My dad doesn't work due to disability so they don't have a lot of money coming in. What income they have is ok to live off but they have absolutely no savings. I know my mum won't like to take the money but I wan't her to, even if she saves it up for a holiday or something. She says she's gonna put £50 of her wage away for 'a rainy day', so I think this will help her a lot with her savings.

So, if she tries to argue with you, tell her this is her 'rainy day' fund - or at least the start of it. And maybe sit down with her and say "Look, this is what I was paid, this is what I've put towards my credit card, this is how much I've reduced my overdraft, and this is FOR YOU! Towards my food, and all the additional expenses of having another adult in the house."

kittykate wrote:

I feel bad about not paying at the moment as I paid my own rent etc throughout university and now I feel crap cos I'm back to where I was before uni (not contributing etc). I think I will feel loads better once I'm paying board, it'll feel good that I am giving my parent's something back after they've raised me and helped me for so long.

So tell them that as well. Even if it makes her cry (it would me, but then it'll be a long while before my eldest articulates anything like this, and the younger two just don't know they're well off yet!)

dannahaz

Another option might be to work out what you want to be paid (you mentioned £160/month), and then instead of asking him fior this much as cash, give him responsibility for paying certain bills which normally work out at that sort of amount.

If you give him some bills where the costs are variable, like the phone bill... you might be surprised to find that the cost of the phone bill comes down as he realises how much it all costs, and reduces his useage (and maybe encourages others to use less).

Or you could include responsibilty for buying certain grocery items - toilet rolls for example. Again, I bet your household consumption of loo roll reduces as a result.

And of course he gets to keep the savings. So it all helps him be a bit more Money Saving.

Hope that makes sense?

stefejb

My daughter, 21, earns about 155 pw and pays 50. Some of this is to offset the fact that i can't claim single occupancy reduction on council tax while she is there. She also has to provide one meal for the family each week and pay for her telephone calls. Originally i did want to put this into a savings account for her but sadly can't afford to. Some time ago i enquired about claiming housing benefit and the woman i spoke to at the dss (or whatever it's called these days) actually calculated an amount that they would assume she was contributing as a non dependent adult - can't remember what it was but it was above what i'm charging her.

HTH

Stef

robnye

oops - wrong thread......

ASG_2

DD (18) earns upto £300 a week (tepming, so no guarantee of any work) and moaned about £35 a week board......until she went to stay with a friend who's just gone to uni. The friend pays £52 a week for room, shared bathroom and kitchenette, breakfast and evening meal mon - fri. i.e - no packed lunches, no meals at weekend, no laundry, no free landline calls, no free taxi service for nights out, buys her own toiletries- all of a sudden £35 a week looks like good value.

katfishh

I'm 21 and just finished Uni. I have worked previously but lived at home whilst at Uni and Mum paid for everything;. I stayed at home for free, and she paid for my toiletries, as well as food, gas and electricity and a private medical insurance (that I never asked for!) . She also paid for holidays abroad for me and my brother every year (brother is two years younger).
Now I've left Uni Mum says she cant afford to subsidise me and wants me to pay a third of the mortgage, council tax and food bills. I am really angry as its not fair!! :mad: She is only 50 and is used to working full time so I dont see why I should subsidise her so she can work part time (what she wants now). Its funny how now I leave Uni she says she is 'tired' and needs to slow down! She moans about her commute (3 hours a day) but she should be used to it by now. I want to travel and save up to go out with my friends more. I also need money for clothes and going out and I have expensive taste.. I am angry that I have to pay a share towards her mortgage - and wants £150 a month!!! (plus share of other bills up to £100 a week) She says the house needs expensive repairs (roof, etc) and she needs to remortgae to do this but why should I pay for her house whan I get no benefit? I told all my Uni freinds and they said it was so unfair and they dont have to pay to stay in their homes, My mother is a single parent but she has a full tme job and I dont see why I should subsidise her house!!! What do others think? I have told her I am not paying a penny and I will move out.

nikki702

I think your selfish......... she has helped you through uni now its time to pay your way

ITS CALLED THE REAL WORLD!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

maybe you should move out and have a real reality check