He's not ready to marry me?

myothercarisaferrari

zppp wrote: »

:eek: I think your view is tainted. Reading what the OP has stated, it does look like her OH does want long term commitment, but not yet. I think this is entirely plausible and fair. Life is not as simple as you make out, so stop coming out with rubbish.

dom300186, I have read this post, and it sounds like that big day will happen - it is just a question of when. At least you'll be there with him at Sex and the City .

my spectacles are from Specsavers actually and have a UV protector on them, not a rose tint:cool:

And as from the OP's first post, she was asking opinions on the fact she has waited 5 years already what should she do? merely giving my opinion as I have been in a similar position (minus the sprog).

If you dont like my 'rubbish', dont read it:rotfl:

shegirl

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

Shegirl, did you understand my post? I don' believe you did

What is the point in staying with someone who doesnt want the same thing as you? He might change, he might not. You only live once and you cant waste your life with someone who can't give you a defined answer on what he wants x

Marraige may be important to some,including me,but choosing to lose the person you love just incase they don't ever want to get married is daft in my opinion.

It's not wasting your life.If marraige is the most important thing then you aren't with someone you want to spend your life with.

myothercarisaferrari

I appreciate what you are saying, but should she just push her feelings under the carpet? What happens if she wants to have another baby and he doesnt?
What happens if she wants to move and he doesnt??

shegirl

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

I appreciate what you are saying, but should she just push her feelings under the carpet? What happens if she wants to have another baby and he doesnt?
What happens if she wants to move and he doesnt??

IT's something that has to be dealt with.Often one wants to marry sooner than another,but they don't all break up!

Babies is another thing.Many people stay together for life despite one wanting another baby and the other not wanting one.

Person_one

shegirl wrote: »

Marraige may be important to some,including me,but choosing to lose the person you love just incase they don't ever want to get married is daft in my opinion.

It's not wasting your life.If marraige is the most important thing then you aren't with someone you want to spend your life with.

Surely its just as daft to choose to lose the person you love by not formalising the relationship in a way that is incredibly important to them?

Its completely fair and reasonable to want marriage. Marriage is not the same as a wedding and for all the reasons other posters have listed about commitment, legal status, inheritances, and next of kinship I think its completely reasonable for it to be a dealbreaker.

If I was in a committed long term relationship with a child and my partner refused to sign the contract to make everything legal I would feel terribly insecure and doubt how serious they were really were about things.

myothercarisaferrari

^^^^^
much better way of saying what I meant! x

shegirl

Person_one wrote: »

Surely its just as daft to choose to lose the person you love by not formalising the relationship in a way that is incredibly important to them?

Its completely fair and reasonable to want marriage. Marriage is not the same as a wedding and for all the reasons other posters have listed about commitment, legal status, inheritances, and next of kinship I think its completely reasonable for it to be a dealbreaker.

If I was in a committed long term relationship with a child and my partner refused to sign the contract to make everything legal I would feel terribly insecure and doubt how serious they were really were about things.

It sure can make you doubt it!But there's a difference in never and just waiting isn't there.

Person_one

shegirl wrote: »

It sure can make you doubt it!But there's a difference in never and just waiting isn't there.

Sometimes there is and sometimes there isn't. There was a thread not so long ago about a woman who had been 'waiting' on promises for over ten years when her OH decided he'd changed his mind and it was now never.

How long do you wait?

shegirl

Person_one wrote: »

Sometimes there is and sometimes there isn't. There was a thread not so long ago about a woman who had been 'waiting' on promises for over ten years when her OH decided he'd changed his mind and it was now never.

How long do you wait?

Well it depends I guess.

What is more important to you?Spending your life with the person you love and want to be with despite them not wanting marriage (they'll have their reasons) or leave them,hurting yourself,just to find someone who wants to 'sign a contract'?

I know which I'd rather do

MrsE_2

I'm going to sound really old fashioned here but it shocks me that people will have children with people they are not "sure" about marrying.

I'm not saying everyone who has kids should marry - not if marriage is something neither of you see as important.

But if it is something one or both of you believe in then why have children if you are not sure you are ready for marriage?