Why do they have to shout all the time?!

lynzpower

DKLS, there is a massive difference between children playing in the garden and horrendous domestic violence?

jamespir

helena4 wrote: »

I know when the owner told me I thought I would mean bad news! and I was right, the parents are not even 30, of course I dont know why they dont work but they seem fit and healthy to me

i think your being very judgmental not everyone on benefits is the same and just because they may look fit and healthy dont mean they arent


as for the kids just ask them not to be so loud (nicely so they dont think youre an ogre and shout even more just to annoy you ) and ask the parents to give you some pre warning when they going to cook a bbq

andyrules

lynzpower wrote: »

DKLS, there is a massive difference between children playing in the garden and horrendous domestic violence?

there is, but if the neighbours think it's normal or OK to generate that level of noise (themselves more than children) then the op may be well to be wary of escalating a situation, more especially as she is alone.

Anyone who can't spot low fence/open gardens/young family/single quiet person as a point of consideration is probably not going to see another pov.

anniestar

OP I know exactly what you are going through. Our next door neighbours are making my life a misery to the extent I hate going out of the house. I also no longer use our (huge) garden.

I have no problem with BBQ's (love the smell) and no problem with children playing out our attached next door neighbours have the largest trampoline in the world which causes me no problem at all(well I would love a bounce!)

The other lot however are a different matter. They are intimidating, rude and ignorant. I regularly have to clear cigarette buts from my path yet neither DH or I smoke. Likewise chip papers etc thrown over on the path. Not nice. I am self employed and stopped teaching on a Tuesday evening as DH was not around and I used to spend the entire lessons worrying about coming home to run the gauntlett of a crowd of youths milling round my gate and making comments as I managed to get them to move so I could get in.
And no I don't lack gumption I used to teach in a very tough inner city school but you get worn down. They hate us and I do everything I can to be invisible. I have tried to be a good neighbour. We had large conifers-they didn't like them. Got them cut down. Our bins got mixed up, I got it steam cleaned. Have taken in parcels(in the past not now) sometimes its just better to realise that nothing is going to work.....

Ironically when their kids were younger there was no issues at all. Everyone have now grown up(the youngest is 19) and its sheer hell. There's loads of other "stuff".

We have a lovely family next door but one with two children a four year old little girl and her two year old brother who don't often play out given the clouds of skunk and the swearing. That's unforgivable as the size of the gardens were one of the reasons they bought their house.Why shouldn't children be able to play in safety in their own gardens.

I htink the OP should trust her own instincts. If she feels that aproaching these people would make things worse then I wouldn't do it.

Anyway good luck. And anyway, it will rain soon!

helena4_2

anniestar wrote: »

OP I know exactly what you are going through. Our next door neighbours are making my life a misery to the extent I hate going out of the house. I also no longer use our (huge) garden.

I have no problem with BBQ's (love the smell) and no problem with children playing out our attached next door neighbours have the largest trampoline in the world which causes me no problem at all(well I would love a bounce!)

The other lot however are a different matter. They are intimidating, rude and ignorant. I regularly have to clear cigarette buts from my path yet neither DH or I smoke. Likewise chip papers etc thrown over on the path. Not nice. I am self employed and stopped teaching on a Tuesday evening as DH was not around and I used to spend the entire lessons worrying about coming home to run the gauntlett of a crowd of youths milling round my gate and making comments as I managed to get them to move so I could get in.
And no I don't lack gumption I used to teach in a very tough inner city school but you get worn down. They hate us and I do everything I can to be invisible. I have tried to be a good neighbour. We had large conifers-they didn't like them. Got them cut down. Our bins got mixed up, I got it steam cleaned. Have taken in parcels(in the past not now) sometimes its just better to realise that nothing is going to work.....

Ironically when their kids were younger there was no issues at all. Everyone have now grown up(the youngest is 19) and its sheer hell. There's loads of other "stuff".

We have a lovely family next door but one with two children a four year old little girl and her two year old brother who don't often play out given the clouds of skunk and the swearing. That's unforgivable as the size of the gardens were one of the reasons they bought their house.Why shouldn't children be able to play in safety in their own gardens.

I htink the OP should trust her own instincts. If she feels that aproaching these people would make things worse then I wouldn't do it.

Anyway good luck. And anyway, it will rain soon!

THankyou that is exactly why im not keen on approaching them its not about having the 'guts'

I work where I have to approach people some you may not want to but at my work place I have back up of course.

clairibel

If they are as obnoxious as they sound i wouldn't approach them, i tried it once when i lived alone as next door but one they used to fix cars but right behind my back gate as well as next door to me and their own gate...the revving and fumes was unbearable...so i asked as you do please do it in front of your own back gate due to the fumes and the next day i had slashed tyre's :eek:

So its just not always the case of approaching said types, you sometimes need to go higher...i moved

helena4_2

turtlemoose wrote: »

oh, OP, i totally sympathise.

All you people who scoff at the problem and suggest the OP should just go talk to them?? Surely you realise if that was an option then it would have already been done....

Kids (and adults!) on my street seem to enjoy standing out the front of mine, using my front garden as a goal post. Now I know that a football is not going to break my toughened glass windows, but my GOD it makes one hell of a bang when it hits the wall/windows/doors - I spend half the day jumping out of my skin. I once went outside and calmy, rationally, reasonably explained that I have no problem with them using my front fence as goal posts, but please possibly could they try not to hit the house? Came home from work the next day to 3 smashed windows.

Lesson learned? I was £50 out of pocket (and that's cheap, luckily through work I bought the glass at cost and got it fitted free), and learnt to put up and shut up where troublesome neighbours are concerned. Yes i might get labelled a snob for this....but certain types of families just won't change. Now I just save every spare penny and long for the day I can move somewhere else....

thats why im not keen to talk to them I dread coming then to see if they got up to anything why should I live in fear as well as being subject to noise that sems to go on for ever?

Sorry turtlemoos for what haphened to you

helena4_2

clairibel wrote: »

If they are as obnoxious as they sound i wouldn't approach them, i tried it once when i lived alone as next door but one they used to fix cars but right behind my back gate as well as next door to me and their own gate...the revving and fumes was unbearable...so i asked as you do please do it in front of your own back gate due to the fumes and the next day i had slashed tyre's :eek:

So its just not always the case of approaching said types, you sometimes need to go higher...i moved

I think I have enough evidence to NOt approach them now

lynzpower

Well in that case if she is not willing to have that conversation, the best thing to do is to move out.

You could rent it out and move closer to your work.

I wouldnt go round getting environnental health involved as if you need to sell it it will go against you when you are selling as you have a dispute.

If you truly cant bear the idea of having a chat with them ( i admit, I totally cant get my head around this) but you must be very shy?? Then the best thing to do is speak to a letting agent asap and get gone asap to save your own emotional health.

Maybe you could move to an executive type flat where there is not likely to be any children then you can have a small balcony where you can read your book?

SugarSpun

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

If I were her I would try to make recordings of the noise, and keep details of times, dates and duration. Then approach their landlord, and if he is not sympathetic enough to act on it then take it to the environmental dept at her local council.

They sound like ASBO cases, and need to be made aware that they have responsibilities towards their community.

I think getting environmental health involved and ASBOs implemented is a much bigger escalation than saying, Hey, I don't know if you realise but your BBQ smoke sometimes gets into my laundry when it's on the line. Would you mind giving me a five minute warning so I can take it in please?

If my neighbour didn't approach us about noise but went straight to the council I'd be far less likely to be considerate than if they came over and asked me nicely.

And yes, I've lived alone, once in a ground floor flat next to a pub where there was a dedicated team of cider-drinking kids outside and an equally dedicated set of closing-time fighters inside. And on the other side a family with representatives in both teams. And I'm 5 feet nothing and tiny and was often quite frightened because it would spill into my courtyard.

I went over to the next-door family with biscuits I'd made, saying that I'd made far too many and would they like some? and over the course of a conversation about general things I mentioned that I was disturbed on weekend nights by the noise from the pub, did it disturb them too? And they had no idea that I knew they were making the noise, but it got noticeably quieter afterwards and I could often hear the teenage son of the family shushing his mates.

If people don't know they're disturbing others they won't change it. Some people are just that oblivious.

lynzpower wrote: »

people just rub along and tolerate the needs and wants of others and tolerance is a much under-rated quality these days I find.

I think that's the sort of community I'd like to live in, much above one where I had to keep my kid indoors for fear she'd disturb the neighbours. I'm sure the rent would be lower too :money: