Why do they have to shout all the time?!

ceridwen

helena4 wrote: »

Im sorry you had to close the windows mine are open as the kids next door are in school, its horrible having to do things like open windows, hang washing around the neighbours activities when they do as they please when they please

thanks for understanding.

Quite...and I know what you mean about the smells of cheap food cooking too - as I've often had that from one of my neighbours. I've also experienced the "Us couple - you single person" weight of numbers argument. I say nothing - but just remind myself that in every way I can see I am better off/better behaved than they are...

Yes - I know what that will sound like to some readers of this thread - but, frankly, when "antisocials" disturb the peace and quiet that is a standard bit of what a home is about - after a while one does think all sorts of stuff like that....because THEY are busy disturbing you...but you never disturb them and its just so unequal. After a while you do think "Well - at least I know better than to behave like they do:D".

ceridwen

jamesb1239 wrote: »

Is it just me that plays them at their own game? Music on and DIY/cleaning first thing in the morning? Nothing better than hearing next door banging on the wall trying to tell me to shut up when she has spent all of the previous night (ie. 1am until 5am) arguing and slamming doors as hard as she can... I love having a young child and having to get up at 6am :j gives me so much extra time for DIY :j

There is a very very fine line to walk when it comes to "playing them at their own game". I have done it a couple of times to noisy neighbours - JUST enough to get them to realise that I am a quiet neighbour and wish to have peace and quiet - BUT I will "pay them back" if they keep it up (ie the noise). Its a very very fine judgement call as to what is the smallest amount of "disturbance back" one can do to make them realise you arent taking it lying down BUT they cant argue back that you are just the same as them. I seem to have worked it out what exact level to "give back" so far - but its not easy to calculate this to a fine art.:cool:

lynzpower

ceridwen wrote: »

But why SHOULD O.P. move?:cool: SHE is not the one causing the problem. SHE is the one who owns her home. SHE was there first. THEY are the ones who are antisocial.

Nope - personally...I wouldnt say one single word to the neighbours or so much as glance their way. I would just bear all those facts in mind and then head off surreptitiously to see what ways the Council etc could "deal with them" for breaking whatever regulations they were breaking - and hopefully they would move.

Because she already said she was thinking about it as she wanted to be nearer to her work!!

chris1973

To all these posters telling the OP to "just ask them nicely", they are making the fundamental assumption that these are reasonable people.

Unfortunately, doing so can also backfire. Usually these types of anti-social neighbour have prior experience of dealing with such 'complaints' as they probably caused the same nuisance in the various other locations before they moved nextdoor to you and so have vast experience in handling others, plus very detailed knowledge of the law when it comes to dealing with people who 'dare' to complain to them about their behaviour!.

Its not unknown for somebody to complain to their problem neighbour, only for that person to then go off and tell everybody else on the street about what an interfering, miserable busybody you are, and how you want them to keep their kids prisoner in their own home or you ask them not to have a Bar-B-Q or ask their friends around for a beer because you can't tolerate a bit of noise.

Pretty soon, 'you' are being rubbished and are the one made out to be the bad guy in the equation and suddenly the rest of the neighbours are cold shouldering 'you' - because you have become the 'bad neighbour'.

Suddenly you don't have issues with one neighbour, but the entire street. Just one example of how these things can escalate. Some 'bad' neighbours are experts when it comes to manipulation and bad mouthing - they invented it.

You never know how clever, devious, dirty and well connected - your opponent is, so probably best not to engage them at all!.

I freely appreciate that whilst I had similar issues as others here have experienced with my neighbours, I was quick to recognise that the noise coming from the 'new' family nextdoor may not be as much of an issue to other people as it was to me, for example another family with kids of their own who were used to noise and probably would even notice the noise from nextdoor above their own internal choas!, and that part of the problem was my own craving for personal space, freedom and privacy and my desire to live a peaceful life.

So although it was no fault of my own that they were making more noise than all of the other 16 people on the street, and that their noise was like nails down a blackboard to my ears, perhaps I was more sensitive to it than others would be. This was one reason I opted that the only way to help me, was for me to be the one to make the changes, i.e move temporarily to a quieter location.

Unfortunately, neighbours are one thing you have no control over and a matter you have no say in. Even if you move into what seems to be a currently quiet street, people die, move, get married, move into nursing homes, get repossessed or just decide to upsticks and move all of the time, and in 6 months of moving in - 3 of your quiet peaceful neighbours may be moving on for whatever reason, and who knows who'll be replacing them. Either way, there is nothing you can do about it and things rarely stay the same.

This is one reason why I opted to make my own arrangements to distance myself from the issue, and now I try and be out as much as possible whilst the noise is at its peak. Okay its not ideal, and certainly not a path i'd have voluntary have chosen, but the drop in stress is worth the inconvenience.

However, I pray for rain and a wet summer, which will keep the Chav kids and their parents Bar-B-Q's at bay and allow me to spend some time back at my 'proper' home. I also hope to see the 'For Sale' board up outside their house sometime soon or that she'll just marry this bloke and have another kid and they'll have to move somewhere bigger, but maybe thats just wishful thinking!.

I was once told 'off the record' that the way to handle a problem neighbour was to become a problem neighbour yourself. Obviously this isnt my style and probably not the style of many others in a similar situation, but it does show how difficult these things are to resolve....even off the record.

ceridwen

lynzpower wrote: »

Because she already said she was thinking about it as she wanted to be nearer to her work!!

But maybe she wouldnt have been thinking about it if it wasnt for these lovely people (aka "those antisocial chavs") next door?

Anyways - if she DOES move then she needs to be able to rent her home to normal people - NOT ones that would feel "right at home" with neighbours like that....she doesnt want the place trashed or the rent unpaid...

(errr...I am getting the impression that you are comfortable with a higher level of disturbance than most of us regard as compatible with a place being a home to us....but I know EXACTLY where O.P. is coming from...)

B00

Why is everyone assuming that her neighbours are anti social? They could very well turn out to be reasonable folk when spoken to like human beings. Instead people are of the assumption that they are shop bought food eating (honest, what snobbery!) chavy thugs!

chris1973

Why is everyone assuming that her neighbours are anti social?

Sometimes you get to know the little signs, without actually speaking to them, for example with my neighbours...

They never spoke to me, nodded or acknowledged me on the many times i've said good morning to them, other people who do speak to each other, have said similar.

In 3 years, She has never nodded, waved, flashed her headlights in thanks whenever I let her go first out of courtesy in her car when we meet on the narrow bit of the road - just blasts her way through and seems to expect it of everybody, like she's royalty.

In addition to the general 7 day ambient noise from her feral children and dog (often starting as early as 7AM), her late night Bar-B-Q's often run to 2 or 3AM even on working nights during the summer. Council noise folk aren't interested - just advise me to keep a diary for a year or so!

The latest bloke she is shacked up with, is like a heavily tattoed 6ft 4 Onslow from the TV show 'Keeping up appearances', who is already rumoured to have kindly offered to post a visitor who parked in his space, back through his letter box in small pieces if he ever parked there again.

I could think of many other little examples from over the past 3 years, but those are just the highlights of the Summer season. I can't speak for the OP, but if you have genuinely problem or troublesome neighbour usually you get the general idea over a given period of time from their behavior and attitudes to their own neighbours , their environment and even their own household, as to just what type of people they are.

If this is an example of a 'good neighbour' in your book, then do the Christian thing, and PM me your address, so I can suggest they move onto your road :j

Bogof_Babe

B00 wrote: »

Why is everyone assuming that her neighbours are anti social? They could very well turn out to be reasonable folk when spoken to like human beings. Instead people are of the assumption that they are shop bought food eating (honest, what snobbery!) chavy thugs!

Reasonable people generally don't need to be asked to show consideration to others. It would be their default behaviour style.

Soubrette

Some people like this used to live (thankfully) opposite, they couldn't talk to each other without f'ing and blinding, all conversations were carried out at a shout - mainly arguments and yet no less than 3 times did the mum pop round to my house to warn me that I'd left the car window open as she'd done it once and it had rained overnight.

One of my friends worse experiences of a next door neighbour was the sweet little old lady next door, she was apparently a lovely friendly woman but nearly every night her washing machine would be on plus as she was a little deaf her TV was on at full blast.

Oh yes, also reminds me of the neighbour of a few years ago, I used to work nights and her and the boyfriend used to have full scale rows from room to room all day while I was trying to sleep. We thought there was one kid who shouted all the time but turned out it was a boy and a girl, both with deep gravelly voices.

At the moment we live next to a quiet couple with a baby and they hardly make a peep, I suspect at the moment with two teenagers, that we are the noisy neighbours

Oh yes, we live in a nice area although now I'm wondering

Sou

B00

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Reasonable people generally don't need to be asked to show consideration to others. It would be their default behaviour style.

But unless she actually speaks to them about their "unreasonable" behaviour (I'm STILL not getting what's THAT bad about children playing and BBQ's) They might not think their actions are causing their neighbours any upset.

I'm am genuinely astonished that the majority of you are assuming they're loudmouthed chavvy yobs, when the OP hasn't even spoken to them to validate this.

The neighbours could very well turn out to be nice folk, a bit rough and ready perhaps, but we can't all be perfect can we?