How do I move on from a relationship break-up?

Souk08

Hon as Jackie says (always sensibly) you are not letting anyone down but YES you can do this. What's the option, let him make a wreck out of you? I don't think we can let that happen. You NEED to stop thinking about him and what you would have been doing together because that's over now, and tbh I bet it wouldn't have been anything particularly exciting anyway and would quite possibly have been of his choosing. YOU can now do whatever YOU want. YOU are in there, you just need to find yourself again.
I'd run your baths and cook your tea and all that malarkey too...then I'd say right that's enough, we're off out for a laugh and a giggle, nothing to do with men but just to have fun. Do you have a friend you can do all this with? If not, you need one. Hugs XXX

jackieglasgow

Hey, AW, I think you'll probably be working tonight, but I've been concerned about you as your last couple of posts sounded so despondent. Don't worry about what we will think of you for thinking about him, because in all honesty although we thinks he's a waste of your time, we understand you can't switch off like that, and would rather hear you going on about him that not knowing you are OK after you've told us about your previous thoughts regarding self-harm. Just let us know you are OK. Hugs for you, my darling, I hope you are taking care of yourself, and just too busy to post. X

AlwaysWorking

Aww Jackie, thank you for your lovely post..I wish I knew more thoughtful and caring people like you in RL!! I WAS working tonight..and last night...and the night before and the night before that, lol! You get the idea!!

I had my interview on Monday..I was sooo nervous after 8 months of having a boss tell me how rubbish I am and how they have no faith in me...but I GOT THE JOB!!! I resigned today and the boss told me not to bother working my notice, just to go! I wouldn't mind, but I know they won't pay me for the notice period, even though I was prepared to work it. I'm just sooooo happy to be out of there though...it feels like a new start...a sign that things will get better. To add to my joy, they offered me £2 an hour more than the recruitment agency had told me the salary would be!!!!

I was beside myself when I got the call and the first person I texted was my ex to invite him out for dinner and all the champagne he could drink as a celebration. It felt right as he supported me, financially and emotionally, when I was made redundant. He texted back to say he thinks he is meeting a friend on Saturday night, but he would let me know. That took the wind out of my sails a bit tbh. I thought knowing how much I've been through in the last 18 months career wise he would be over the moon for me. I guess it was just another sign that he has moved on and I'm just a part of his history. I wish I'd found a job six months ago, maybe then he wouldn't have left. My mum thinks he would have left regardless, that he just couldn't commit. I feel stupid for having texted him, I really thought he'd be as happy as me...dumb or what!

I hope everyone else is keeping well?!

Souk08

Hey FAB news about the job. DONT wait for him to get back to you re Sat and be his second choice, why not go for food with a friend or your fab mum instead? He HAS moved on hon, and you must too. You have to stop thinking 'if I'd done this, if I'd done that he wouldn't have left'. You just did what you did and he left anyway so you have to now look to a more positive future without him. You are not stupid, you've just got a fab new job and more money so onwards and upwards and big congratulations again. XXX

briggers_3

Well done about the job, Always Working. That's FABULOUS news.
I agree though - try to find someone else for the Saturday night celebrations. Let it be a new start for you xx:beer:

jackieglasgow

Brilliant news about the job! This calls for one of my newly found smilies...... perfect, this one's called Celebrate! Now if only there was one called new start!

That's what the job is, new start to your new life, it will keep you busy and interested, you might make new friends through it, and expand your social life, which can only be a good thing, you can afford to live without working your fingers to the bone. This is the answer to the title of your thread. How to get over a relationship breakup? Simple, Change your life! New job, new start, what a great thing for you. I too, think it would be sensilbe not to wait for him to commit to the night out on Saturday, and agree with your mum that he would have gone anyway, and as you said, he's already moved on. I hope the new job help you find some clarity, and you do treat it as a new start! So chuffed for you! Well done! X

Amanda65

Great news AW - well done you for getting the job. I'm no expert on employment law but I think your current company have to pay you if you are on a months notice - it's their choice that you don't work it

As for the ex - it sounds as though your new job would have made no difference at all to him so another reason for him to be binned with the old job :rotfl:.

As for Saturday night, dress up, eat and celebrate, and my vote goes to taking your lovely mum who has been so supportive to say a big thank you for being there. As a mother myself, I would walk over hot coals bare foot to support my children for no repayment - but a thank you is always very much appreciated :beer:

Kay_Peel

I'm delighted for you. :T

Your interviewer saw your qualities and you've proved to yourself that you are worth much more than the begrudging value that your current employer has for you.

I was still disappointed that you set yourself up for a fall by trying to arrange a date with your ex, to celebrate. Once again, he did the right thing by saying that he might be doing something else. It's a refusal, but a kind one. It should send you a clear message, if you needed one.

Best of luck in your new job and your new life. :beer:

SandC

Well done on the job - and yes your current firm does have to pay you notice, it was their choice that you not work it.

This is a good step but I do wish your first thought hadn't been to share your good news with him - good things that happen to you now are of no concern of his! You have to get out of the mindset that he is 'that' part of your life - it's good that he said he was going to be busy as you are not a couple any more and that means letting go of doing couple things. However, you don't seem too bothered about it.

skintdragon

Hey there, just wanted to offer you my best wishes in bagging yourself a new job. New beginnings and all that...

Stay focused on YOU, you'll be fine.

:beer: :beer: