How do I move on from a relationship break-up?

AlwaysWorking

He just tried to phone me but I didn't answer...I've not spoken to him in a week and a half and I know if I hear his wee Scottish accent I'll melt all over again!

So then he sent me an email apologising for the things he said yesterday. He said he was upset and lashing out and I didn't deserve it...I feel even more ashamed for the things I said now.

He asked how I got on at the hotel last night and if there is anything that needs to be sorted before we stop all contact for a few months.

So now I'm sitting at my desk crying (again!)...why does he have to be so lovely? Why couldn't he just have said something horrible so I wouldn't miss him so much?

babes21

Aww, i feel for you. Keep strong xx

skypie123_2

Honey you're doing really well. Take it day by day.
Who knows what the future holds, maybe he will sort himself out and want to make a go of it but you can't think like that for now.
You need to sort yourself out. You will come out of this stronger. Wish I could give you a big hug but I want you to know this, as someone who has been there - it WILL all be ok in the end, one way or the other.
One day you'll look back at these days and see how strong you are being and all of us who have been there know this. The world is your oyster now! Pamper yourself and have a wonderful weekend away. Stuff this guy! You can do and WILL do better!
Imagine even if you get back together now, you'll constantly be waiting for him to bottle it again, so IF you were to get back together then HE has to make some serious changes and WIN you back.
And thats his problem so you take care of yourself!
xxxx

Amanda65

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

He just tried to phone me but I didn't answer...I've not spoken to him in a week and a half and I know if I hear his wee Scottish accent I'll melt all over again!

Well done - you know it's what has to be done !

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

So then he sent me an email apologising for the things he said yesterday. He said he was upset and lashing out and I didn't deserve it...I feel even more ashamed for the things I said now.

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of :mad: He told you he didn't want to marry you and moved out - he is upset as he is realising that he cannot have you there mopping his ego all the time.

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

He asked how I got on at the hotel last night and if there is anything that needs to be sorted before we stop all contact for a few months.?

A quick email / text saying "No thanks, I've sorted it all" will suffice

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

So now I'm sitting at my desk crying (again!)...why does he have to be so lovely? Why couldn't he just have said something horrible so I wouldn't miss him so much?

He told you he didn't want to marry you - how much more horrible can he get ???? You really are doing so well - don't let him take away your positive mood today. If you get a lunchbreak, go for a walk for half an hour, breath in some fresh air and remind yourself what a star you are .

Stephb1986_2

He aint being lovely though he was too chicken to do it himself so left you to do his dirty work for him!

I just wouldn't bother replying to his messages or phone calls.

Steph xx

AlwaysWorking

Thanks everyone for the reality check...note to self, he is NOT Mr Perfect!!!

He has just tried to ring again and then sent a text asking if we can talk....agggh this is soo hard! I know if I phone back I'll just get upset because he won't say the only thing I want to hear - that he'll give 'us' another chance. Think I'll take your advice Steph and go for a walk. I didn't sleep well last night and am shattered today...not looking forward to working tonight as well!

whitewing

You don't need to talk to him xxx

Stephb1986_2

Just keep up with not speaking to him love give him chance to miss you! So far he has played mind games with you asking you out on dates and jumping into bed with you. This isn't fair on you because your getting your hopes up that everything will work out and this might sound harsh but I don't think he's on the same wave length as you love if you get what I'm saying.

I would turn off my mobile and let him stew in his juices for a while until you feel ready.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I am just trying to think of you. I too got engaged in december (christmas day) and me and my OH have had some really really bad arguments where we have split up for a week or so so I know how devastated you are. You just want someone to come along and tell you everything is going to be alright. Everything will be alright though it just takes time.

Love and hugs

Steph xx

hieveryone

AW, here it is - he is NOT lovely. He booked a wedding with you, (presumably bought you a ring?), chanted about buying baby things in shops and basically leading you up the garden path. He has ditched you and left you to cancel hotels and venues and bookings etc. In between that time he has taken you out for dinner, (slept with you?), but not made any apologies for his behaviour.

Repeat after me : He is NOT lovely.

Make a list of the things you do not like about him, or the way he has made you feel bad about yourself. When you're having a wobble, look at the list - memorise the damn thing if you need to.

I think you really need to ask yourself and be totally honest - would you actually go back to him now even if he asked? For a long time I thought I actually would if my ex asked me, but then I thought of the embarrassment of having to tell people that I was back with him and that put me right off, and through time my own pride put me even more off.

Sorry to be blunt, but sometimes a wee kick up the butt is needed

izzybusy23

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the reality check...note to self, he is NOT Mr Perfect!!!

He has just tried to ring again and then sent a text asking if we can talk....agggh this is soo hard! I know if I phone back I'll just get upset because he won't say the only thing I want to hear - that he'll give 'us' another chance. Think I'll take your advice Steph and go for a walk. I didn't sleep well last night and am shattered today...not looking forward to working tonight as well!

Have you ever watched any of the Bridget Jones' films? You remind me of her; especially in this last post. Seriously, if you haven't watch them then do... it will make you smile. Hope I haven't offended you saying you remind me of Bridget Jones.. no offence intended!