Internet Infidelities

Button21

I'm off to have some supernoodles and a slice of toast. Might even watch a re run of Jeremy Kyle to treat myself!:rotfl:

yummymummy27

poor u something similar happened to me my long term partner cheated over 7 times and walked out on me and the kids eveytime when he found something better than us it nearly destroyed me an ruined my life the lies he told to cover his tracks were just awful so ...... i lost all my baby weight got myself a figure to die 4 and decided to have a lil fun myself i never forgave him deep down and never trusted him i was always wondering where is he whats he upto so when the tables turned and i was lil miss gawjus and he turned into a lard a$$ i booted him out and never looked bk no more insecurities and the kids and i have never been happier chin up hunni x

downcdebt

sorry you are feeling so awful - having low self esteem is horrid, i know

i dont think you can wait until you have better self esteem before you start making changes, I think you need to take a leap of faith and start making decisions and thinking in a way that someone with good self esteem would do.....even if you dont believe it....and then slowly hopefully your self esteem will rise.

so be nice to yourself. you are going through a sh1te time. treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend who was feeling awful.

tell yourself you deserve more ....and keep telling yourself that...even when you dont think it is true.....and eventually you may start thinking it is true.

reframe the situation, so that rather than how awful you are for looking and finding out what your OH has been doing think "wow I have great intuition - good on me for being proactive and finding out the truth, who does he think he is thinking he can get away with x ".

if you are with a maniupulative OH, over time you lose sense of what is acceptable and what isn't and end up putting up with things you shouldn't. For me It took people around me to keep telling me that they wouldn't put up with X, many many times, before I started thinking...hmmmm maybe I do deserve better....hmmmm. I would look at my friends in happy relationships and think "she wouldn't put up with X....what is it about me that means I would"

I truely hope you start to feel better soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Deleted User]

To be honest I think we are wasting our words even commenting on an appalling post like this. He won't see what kind of a 'person' it makes him to write trash like that.., lol, look at his priorities in life and laugh or even better..,

Ignore.

newbeginning_2

pigpen wrote: »

Men, in general, have 2 brains.. one in their head.. and one not.. sadly the one which isn't in their head takes priority over the number of hours it is in use during the day.. this brain is also used for work related things.

The brain in the head is the one used at home.. it isn't very powerful.. almost enough power to be classed as a nightlight..

This is why the boss says jump they say how high.. and we say jump 400 times before it registers and eventually when we threaten to jump ourselves they huffily get up and do it..

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

So true!!

newbeginning_2

Button21 wrote: »

Just to add also, we spoke on the phone tonight but I didn't argue. I am exausted and confused and feeling physically unwell if I'm honest.

I asked him not to contact me for the next 2 weeks until he comes home. I don't care if people think it's unfair or cruel to not let him speak to his kids. For the next fortnight, as every kind person on this forum has said, I need to think about my own mental wellbeing and if that means depriving him of speaking to his children for a couple of weeks then so be it.

He didn't spare a thought for us.

For what it's worth, you're only being as cruel/unfair as he was when he was having his seedy little internet affair, how would he feel if it had been you doing this??

I think you're right to ignore him while you try and get your head around everything.

Are you sure it stopped with the emailing and never went any further than that though? That's what you really need to know for certain before you make any decisions.

skypie123_2

Woody can I ask whats wrong with being a divorcee? Surely its better to call time on a marriage that doesn't work than to stay in one that makes you unhappy just so you can be seen as 'successful'?
I am a divorcee for what its worth (and far from dried up!) and I am now with an amazing guy who I love to pieces and treats me like a queen. Thats a much better place to be than where I was when I was married to a guy and we just weren't happy.

I would also be willing to bet that you are a divorcee...(probably some dried up has been).[/QUOTE]

piglet74

Button21 wrote: »

Just to add also, we spoke on the phone tonight but I didn't argue. I am exausted and confused and feeling physically unwell if I'm honest.

I asked him not to contact me for the next 2 weeks until he comes home. I don't care if people think it's unfair or cruel to not let him speak to his kids. For the next fortnight, as every kind person on this forum has said, I need to think about my own mental wellbeing and if that means depriving him of speaking to his children for a couple of weeks then so be it.

He didn't spare a thought for us.

i think your just right,

i could not agree more, you need your space, and by reading your comments when you didnt not answer the phone, you def.came across as a different person, more confident, etc,

if he is draining you then you need to avoid him,

take care :A

KittyKate

Hi Button, hope you are feeling a bit better today. I think it's perfectly reasonable that you've asked he doesn't contact you for the remainder of his time away. Have some me-time, bubble baths, treat yourself to a new top or a hair cut, because little things like that have a huge boost to my self esteem so I hope they do the same for you. Remember, YOU are the one who determines how you view yourself. Don't let anyone else make you think you're any less fabulous than you are. It's THEIR problem if they can't see it

As for your husband...the guy cheated on you when you had a baby. Then kept on chasing any bit of skirt around him (exes, friends exes) and these are only the ones you know about. I think it's fair to say he's a pig and he never truly regretted or understood his first cheat behaviour. Clearly he thinks he's God's Gift and he can have anyone he wants.

Forget the other women, it's HIM you can't trust. I can't tell you what to do but I don't want you to be a door mat any longer because I know you are worth so much more than that. Whenever I have a problem I always think 'if this was my friend, how would I advise her?' then I follow my own advice (it helps me make a more balanced decision!).

If I were you, I'd change the locks (he's already helped you out by packing a suitcase ). I'm sure he'll have somewhere else to stay (sorry to say it but his sort usually do).

Your priority here should be your mental wellbeing and making sure your kids are in a stable routine. Everything should be on your terms for now hun, he's walked over you for too long. Once you're free of the worry, lack of trust, and have taken control of the situation, you will feel so much better.

PM me if you ever need to chat and lots of love and luck to you xxx

mackemdave

If I were you, I'd change the locks

[/QUOTE]

Im sorry but why do people put this forward as a solution ......All it does is inflame the situation and can lead to costly repairs.The house is in both their names so he has every right to get access to the house and is within his right to smash his way in and then who is going to be left to pick up the cost of the repair and leave the person living there in a vunerable position until the repair is carried out.

Im NOT siding with your OH but just warning of possible consiquences of this advice