Internet Infidelities

Indout96

many men do not see this as cheating

As a bloke I would, it would - I would also see it as a sign of what may be to come, how long before they do "meet up"
Its not like looking at !!!!!! on the net, (bad enough) its with an actual person that he knows.

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Completely agree with Brians Daughter here - i had a similar thing with my OH in the earlier days. I put it to my OH (a way of explaining to him if you like) that if he were to go 'socialising' on these websites and getting into 'intimate convos' with other girls then he'd have to accept me going out with my mates every weekend and flirting and picking up guys for fun, basically as long as i don't physically do anything then surely i'm not cheating (obviously i know it is, just trying to make him understand what i was getting at).

Trust me he didn't like that idea in the slightest but it certainly got my point accross - especially when the first time he dismissed what i had said so litterally showed him i could and i would hurt him back in the same way.

Might sound petty but simply talking never worked, the slanging matches before never worked either, but this final visual did as he felt truly hurt by me! He got my point, knew i was just proving a point and knows i love him and wouldn't hurt him and have no interest in anyone else, just showed i was more than capable if i ever wanted to.

If i were you i'd wait till he gets back before conversating any more on the matter - once you do get some time sit and explain why you feel it is so wrong, and if you have to explain it from my point of view and ask if he sees that as acceptable - i'm sure if he loves you enough he'd be upset by you doing any such thing, thus it might get into his head that what he is doing is essentially the same thing.

Big hugs to you hun! Stay strong for now! x

Dave_liverpool

My wife and I have had a conversation about this 'is it cheating or not' online 'romance issue' and we both came to the conclusion that if we were sat in the pub/ our garden/ in Tesco's and I of us were to start chatting to the next available person near to us in an 'intimate way' but it didn't go any further it would still be cheating and trust would be gone.

It does make it worse infact its a friends ex wife. How does she feel about it? Is she expecting more than just words? How will you ever look her in the eye?

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Dave_liverpool wrote: »

My wife and I have had a conversation about this 'is it cheating or not' online 'romance issue' and we both came to the conclusion that if we were sat in the pub/ our garden/ in Tesco's and I of us were to start chatting to the next available person near to us in an 'intimate way' but it didn't go any further it would still be cheating and trust would be gone.

Precisely! Lol, i have a habit of wording things in such a long winded way, but twas the point i was trying to get accross too, haha!

Button21

Thank you so so much for all the replies! I am trully grateful that people have taken the time to read my post and reply!

He reacted quite cavalier when he realised I'd found him out! In his eyes, he hasn't committed adultry so that makes it all ok!!

I have confronted the woman involved - I am furious as I know her and have had a couple of chats with her to say how sorry I was to hear about the break up of her marriage! Shame on her because at the time she was having internet liasons with my husband!!

I probably shouldn't have confronted her because made a complete fool of myself by turning up at her work today! I had to do something or esle I was gonna burst with rage! She went a whiter shade of pale when she saw me and just took all I had to say without arguing! What she did say however was that her marriage was nothing to do with me when I said did she not spare a thought for her recently separated husband!! How dare she!!

On a positive note however, I have made no contact with him today - no phone calls, texts or emails! Going from 30+ a day for the past 3 days to zero is quite an achievement! He will call to speak to kids around 6pm tonight but I am adimant I aint gonna answer! I would be too tempted to rant again but might let him speak to them at the weekend. I don't think I am being unfair because sometimes he doesn't ask to speak to them anyway, so he needn't bother playing the doting dad all of a sudden! (sorry if that sounds harsh!)

Thanks again for all your comments and please help keep me strong and not a doormat!

Button xxx

skypie123_2

Good girl - let him sweat!
I love your sig by the way. Now adopt that attitude and keep going! xxx

pigpen

Button21 wrote: »

What she did say however was that her marriage was nothing to do with me when I said did she not spare a thought for her recently separated husband!! How dare she!!

Other than that bit because that is nothing to do with you.. well done you!! But do be careful.. we don't want you getting a bop on the nose!

I wonder if she is looking for a bit of flattery since she and her hubby left.. doesn't excuse your hubby mind.. At least he didn't come home with lice like mine did!! :eek:

skiTTish

You need to decide what you want ?
Do you want to forgive him and carry on as before ,can you trust him again ?
Or
Do you want rid of him ?

If you think he is worth fighting for ( I cannot see why but then I am not one to judge ,i am not in your shoes ) Then you definitely need to talk and sort out ground rules and make him understand why you are hurt and get his assurance things like thing will never happen again (if you can believe him )

How would you feel if he think ,oh sod this this for a game of soldiers and clears off with the other woman ? ( My feeling would be good riddance but again I am not you ) Is he worth fighting for ?

C_Mababejive

For info..i am male.

My advice is that if he has cheated once, then he will do it again.

You only have his word that he hasnt had contact with this woman.

A single woman can sometimes act in a predatory manner in her search for another man and the small matter of his wife will be of little consequence.

If your happy with this then do nothing.

My feeling is that he isnt to be trusted and i wouldnt be surprised if he has had liasons which you are not aware of.

Whilst he is away,get someone who you trust to go over that PC with a fine tooth comb.

The Web browser cache and cookies department is always a good place to start.

Button21

pigpen wrote: »

Other than that bit because that is nothing to do with you.. well done you!! But do be careful.. we don't want you getting a bop on the nose!

I wonder if she is looking for a bit of flattery since she and her hubby left.. doesn't excuse your hubby mind.. At least he didn't come home with lice like mine did!! :eek:

pigpen, I meant how dare she say her marriage has nothing to do with me when she's well and trully tried to destroy mine! She knows me, knows hes married, and knows he has 2 kiddies! Homewrecker!

It's funny you should ask is she looking for a bit of flattery tho! I think she had this liason planned all along because she has been texting and sending him messages on Facebook for months now - even before she left her husband! Think she sees mine as a meal ticket as he has good job, nice car, nice house etc........her and her hubby struggled and now she is in a DSS bed and breakfast.

His only excuse is boredom and stupidity when he is working away from home........she gave him attention and he lapped it up! Apologies to all the decent men out there, but why oh why do most men think with their ?!!

Anyway, he rang and I didn't answer! So that is one nill to me! Psycho wife slowly gaining some self respect!!!:j:j:j