Creepy Man making life hard! LONG

AnnaLicious_2

I used to work in a closer role to child protection than I do now, and this whole situation is disturbing. AliasGirl - you said he's not 'officially' with the scouts. That doesn't matter - they are allowing him access to children on a regular basis. Therefore they MUST have a current Enhanced CRB. Even volunteers working with children must have these.
I work in finance (local government), have no contact with children, but have to have an Enhanced CRB done every year as I might have contact or access to information on children.
Please do let us know how it goes. You clearly have a large group of people on here supporting you.

puddy

esmy wrote: »

This man's behaviour is typical of those with an unhealthy interest in children - his history with you, being 'around' the scout hut when children are there, applying to be a theatre chaperone. Nevertheless, his CRB could be perfect and without your information, OP, especially the comments he made to your friend, he'll be able to continue to behave in this way, if not towards you to younger women. Please report him as soon as you can.

quite right and if your scout leader thinks that he is doing this bloke a favour or even keeping an eye on him somewhat, he is mistaken, this bloke will also be hanging round other scount huts, swimming pools, parks, playgrounds, schools etc and may even be 'helpinng out' and putting other children at risk.

he has already shown that when angry, frustrated or thwarted, his behaviour intensifies, not decreases. that shows enhanced risk.

baabaachi

AnnaLicious wrote: »

I used to work in a closer role to child protection than I do now, and this whole situation is disturbing. AliasGirl - you said he's not 'officially' with the scouts. That doesn't matter - they are allowing him access to children on a regular basis. Therefore they MUST have a current Enhanced CRB. Even volunteers working with children must have these.
I work in finance (local government), have no contact with children, but have to have an Enhanced CRB done every year as I might have contact or access to information on children.
Please do let us know how it goes. You clearly have a large group of people on here supporting you.

Plus, if this man makes himself known to the children this will in the children's eyes make him no longer a stranger.

foreign_correspondent

baabaachi wrote: »

Plus, if this man makes himself known to the children this will in the children's eyes make him no longer a stranger.

Yeah, absolutely - put yourself in the plaace of a kid - if 'Fred from scouts' offers to walk you home you are far more likely to agree than if it is just some strange man - after all, you know 'Fred', he is friends with your scout leader, who you respect, and he works for the scouts, so he is ok... right?

Your mum has probably told you to be aware of strangers, but Fred is not a stranger - and you know you are supposed to be polite to teachers and scout leaders...

myothercarisaferrari

I'm quite shocked you have allowed this to go on for as long as it has. Who gives a flying !!!! what other people think - call the police NOW

I really really hope and pray to god no child has come into contact with this man

kingfisherblue

It should be remembered that although this man helps out at the Scout hut, AliasGirl is a volunteer with Girlguiding UK. She should therefore report her concerns to her commissioners at GGUK as well as to the police and the Scout Association. If she fails to report this to GGUK, she could be creating a problem for herself in the future. GGUK needs to be able to trust its leaders and failing to report this to her senior guiders would, IMO, could lead to a lack of trust from her commissioners, who may think that she is unable or unwilling to make appropriate decisions when faced with a potentially dangerous situation.

AliasGirl

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies. I've felt very depressed all afternoon and evening and I don't really feel I can say much, just all know please that the situation is now in hand and hopefully will be sorted very soon. It may be that the Scout Leader may also have notified the police after my outburst at the weekend or the child protection people (their office is just across the road).

For those who say why have I let it go on so long? As far as I knew for years, it was just me that he showed an interest in, never anyone else. Also, as I said, as a youngster when I raised my concerns I was told I was being stupid and I honestly thought it was my fault, I was well developed and thought I looked older and my family would say, "You are an attractive girl, what do you expect?", so I honestly thought he didn't realise I was still at school. I know now that I was naive. When I helped at the scout hut, the leader told me I was being stupid and also to this day, I have NEVER saw this man approach/talk to a child in my presence and I know the scout master's wife hasn't either so alarm bells with children never ever went off - most of them don't even know he is there and they don't know his name. I thought it was just me he was interested in. I thought when I moved away he would have drifted away from the scouts and had no reason to believe he was a risk to children. I know I was 15 when he started on me but, like I said, I thought I looked in my 20's. I was shocked to discover he was still there and I have just been back helping less than 6 weeks. I went mad when I came in from helping that first night - I was so annoyed at the scout master. My friend's revelation is VERY recent and that was the first time I had evidence this was sexual and sexually inappropriate - he had never made a sexually inappropriate comment to me. Of course, once I had confirmation that he had looked at her naked as a child I knew this was a different matter. As I say this is a recent revelation and I hadn't had problems with him for three years after I moved, he was out of sight and now that I am more mature I knew better how to deal with things. I told the Scout Master and his wife when I saw him there about my friend. The looking through the crack in the door happened the other night so I have acted on it pretty quick after again speaking to the Scout master and his wife. This is when the Scout Master told me about him applying to be a theatre chaperone and for him (with what I said about my friend) I think this is when alarm bells started ringing, he started to wonder why on earth he would want to do that, what a strange job for this man to want. Thank God he has started to see sense. I have to admit, even notifying the police I am so scared. He is going to know it is me and he knows where I live, where I work. I'm in the local papers quite a bit because of the work I do with special needs children and everytime I dread it knowing he will read it and see what I am doing. This will make him angry and I'm petrified what he might do. I just want to move away but my family are here. I never asked for him to be this way. Can you imagine what it is like having to tell the police this when you know he will know it is you and he will get annoyed? And so I don't feel relieved, I feel sh*t scared and the police can't give much assurance. I don't know if my friend will talk either to back me up. But I know he may be a risk to children so I have to be brave and put them first. As I've said I am taking a three week break so hopefully my head will be clear and he will be out of our lives when I get back.

The support from you all has been OVERWHELMING. You are the first people who have taken me seriously from the start - Thank You. Forgive me if I don't update, this has all been really emotional and hard to relive. It started over 7 years ago, so its a long time for me to have been affected by this man. Hopefully, I won't have to worry about him soon.

daska

Congratulations. Please remember that you've done nothing wrong.

Errata

AliasGirl - well done, it can't have been easy and your apprehension is very understandable. This organisation gives support and advice to people who have, or are, being stalked http://www.nss.org.uk/

foreign_correspondent

Don't feel you have done anything wrong - you haven't. The full picture has only become clear as you have pieced together different pieces of information collated over a period of time.

This man is in the wrong - not you - and it is a real shame that your family did not act more pro-actively earlier on. Sadly, this sort of behaviour often leaves the victim feeling to blame. You did nothing to attract or lead this man on, other than to be polite to him - a pretty normal human behaviour!

I think it is pretty clear from all the information you now have that he has an unhealthy interest in young girls - not just you - and as such may well pose a risk to children. I do hope the police are now aware - do give a statement if asked to, and I suggest that your friend speaks to the police too.

Good luck - be strong.