Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

Scarlett1

Chrysalis wrote:

But most people even single parents have some sort of family to help.

family might be good enough to help out with the odd bit of babysitting now and again to give a lone parent a couple of hours free time, but not 24/7.

Chrysalis

astonsmummy wrote:

care to elaborate?

yes illnesses for example dont take time off they with you all day and all night. the post before yours was a good example.

astonsmummy

wigginsmum wrote:

Looking after an adult with Alzheimers is probably even more tough, in my book.

I used to work in an EMI (elderly mental institue) where everone had dementia/alzheimers, and yes it is very challenging and hard, i have also been a home carer and some of our clients were in the same position, but like i said before, being a parent is for life, i'm 22 and my mum still has to put up with grief concerning me, my nan is 75 and still has to put up with grief concerning my mum (47)

There are social services who can help with respite and stuff for carers wheras parents who cant afford childcare or have no family dont get that.
My best friend never has any time off from her 2 kids, she has a mum (if u can call her that) but she wouldnt leave her kids with them, her fella is a waste of space - she might aswell be single.

Chrysalis

Im not arguing that the kids are for life but I dont think your nan at 75 is still changing her 47 year old daughter's nappies its somewhat different. Bear in mind also as children get older and the parent becomes older and frailer the tide turns and it becomes beneficial to have children who may end up looking after their elders.

astonsmummy

Chrysalis wrote:

yes illnesses for example dont take time off they with you all day and all night. the post before yours was a good example.

I can understand what u mean, it can be very harsh being a full time carer for anyone, tbh it is on the same par as parenting, although as i said before parenting is a lifelong commitment if i live till i'm 80 thats 60 years of being a parent:eek: i dont know any illnesses that need someone to have a fulltime carer that last 60 years?? (not saying there arent any tho)

astonsmummy

Chrysalis wrote:

Im not arguing that the kids are for life but I dont think your nan at 75 is still changing her 47 year old daughter's nappies its somewhat different. Bear in mind also as children get older and the parent becomes older and frailer the tide turns and it becomes beneficial to have children who may end up looking after their elders.

The point i'm trying to make is being a parent isnt just about changing nappies, feeding etc it's a whole load of other things alot of which i havent even experienced yet! my nan may not change her nappy's but she still worries sick about the things that go on in her life, she's still got to be there when things go wrong (my mum lives with her so i suppose she puts up with more than most nans)

pandas66

wigginsmum wrote:

Looking after an adult with Alzheimers is probably even more tough, in my book.

very true, a family friends husband has alzeheimers. He had had it for 15 years in vary degrees, the later 8-10 years has been a nightmare for her, he is very clingy to her similar in response as a 3 year old in fact. He screams and kicks when she goes out, this she does once a week for 2 hours to pay bills, doctors app, dentist app or maybe the hairdressers. She receives no other help physically with him as she is 10 years younger than him, she has a help with his food and bedding, which is changed 2-3 times a day.She has had a far worse time in her 10-15 years than I have.

wigginsmum

astonsmummy wrote:

There are social services who can help with respite and stuff for carers wheras parents who cant afford childcare or have no family dont get that.

But people (generally) choose to have kids - no-one chooses an illness. I can't see the correlation, unless parenthood is truly as awful as I've always believed it to be, which would be the question of why people do it at all?

astonsmummy

wigginsmum wrote:

But people (generally) choose to have kids - no-one chooses an illness. I can't see the correlation, unless parenthood is truly as awful as I've always believed it to be, which would be the question of why people do it at all?

Well when u put it that way i suppose yes it is harder, my apologies ppl!

pandas66

but I still want to stay at the top of the 'hardest done by'.............