Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

lancsman_2

It's always the parents whether that be a b@stard of a dad or a selfish mother.

Would that be the b@stard of a dad that dies or the selfish mother that dies ?
As somebody said earlier not all single parents choose to be so, in fact if you did some research instead of firing from the hip you may find your sweeping statements are really a load of rubbish.

I got bored so forgive me for not reading the whole thread.

Just about sums it up

Prudent

Zziggi wrote:

Absolutely. What got to me was that i read a fair bit of this thread and it just appeared to be all single parents all telling their sad stories about how they are single parents. I got bored so forgive me for not reading the whole thread. How come everyone was singing the same song. You can't all be so badly treated. It is partly based on this that i have formed the view that single parents seem to feel sorry for themselves. Very little personal responsability. You chose a complete w@nker to have kids with. But that's always someone elses fault is it?
.

Most single parents do have a sad story to tell because they are in circumstances they have not chosen. You cannot always predict how your ideal partner will turn out.

I am a single parent - not through choice. I wanted to have a life long commitment to my husband. I am a teacher, I like children and wanted to have children and raise them in a loving stable family. I chose someone who I thought would be ideal. He also worked in education and by the time our daughter was eight, he was a head teacher. He came from a stable family with strong family values. We shared a love of animals and had family pets. All this sounds a bit like an episode of the Waltons.And it was just about as fictional...

Beneath the mask of respectiblity he was addicted to teen pornography that involved extreme violence, he frequented red light districts, had affairs, gambled heavily and had periods where his drinking was excessive. He was untruthful and abusive when I tried to discuss issues.

My marriage broke down over a period of about a year from when I discovered his interest in teens. He then moved in with a woman with four girls aged 6 -16. She later threw him out for his behaviour with the 16 year old. I did not choose any of this for my child.

I did the responsible thing (please don't tarnish us as irresponsible). I went to the police and betrayed the man I loved. You may feel I am responsible because I chose the !!!!!!, as you put it. I would challenge any one to know. Most people comment what a lovely man he is when they meet him and even people who have known him for years (and not known the other side of him) feel say this.

Until you have lived through an experience like this, or the others described here, you cannot judge. However, I would not wish it on you. The older I grow, the more I feel that emapthy and compasssion are some of the most important assets in life.. more so than a house , a car , a savings account.

penny-pitstop_2

Zziggi says...

'I bet you were unmarried as well..... '

In this day & age what has that to do with anything?
Relevant to you for your own religious beliefs perhaps?


(Thanked your post in error)

msmicawber

Me too, but only because her bigotry is so over the top I've found it very entertaining.

Becles

Zziggi wrote:

You chose a complete w@nker to have kids with. But that's always someone elses fault is it?

No - it was my own stupid fault. I didn't have boyfriends at school as I was too busy with my nose in books! I met an older man aged 17 and married him at 18. I thought I was all grown up and knew what I was doing.

The marriage is one of the biggest mistakes I made. Despite what you have said, I was verbally, physically and sexually abused and ended up having a nervous breakdown. I had no confidence at all in myself, and lived each day in panic and fear.

Once he was gone, I've picked my life up and turned it around. While being a single parent, I've built up my own business, kept a very nice roof over our heads and we've enjoyed a few luxuries. I'm not saying it has been easy, and it's been hard at time, but it's been a good happy time.

I'm not bitter or feeling sorry for myself. Yes I went through some bad times, but it's in the past now, and I'm jolly well proud of myself for everything I've achieved since he left. Plenty people wrote me off when he left me, but all I can say is I've done well and proved them all wrong!

Anthillmob

Scarlett1 wrote:

you have a partner to share the hard work with and you have child care twice a week so hardly done by are you anthill?

not at all, i was just pointing out that its hard wether you have a partner or not.

i must apologise for the tone of my posts yesterday, i was p1ssed as a fart as the inlaws had come for a visit.

apologies if ive upset or ofended anyone. i didnt realise just how vile my posts were until i read them just now

Anthillmob

msmicawber wrote:

Well, on the up side, you're not constantly assumed to be a Vicky Pollard and looked down on by people who don't know you or your circumstances. On the down side, people assume that your OH is supportive and if that's not true, then I agree it's very tiring and stressful and you do seem very stressed.

but i might be. i dont wear a ring on my finger. yes im engaged but i havent got my ring yet as weve had debts and other stuff like rent etc to spend mr mobs money on. so in the eyes of society when im out and about on my own with the chop-chop i am probably viewed as a viky pollard single mum type

astonsmummy

Zziggi wrote:

i said "e.g. abuse". I did not specify which kind of abuse. You chose to interpret it to mean physical violence. Psychological abuse can be damaging, if not more damaging than physical abuse.



I bet you were unmarried as well.....:rolleyes:



"the truth" is an objective fact is it? Never an interpretation coloured by subsequent events....

I still stand by my comments. It isn't socially acceptable to say that you left your ex-partner for selfish reasons, so nobody dares say this even in the relatively annonymous arena of the internet. We all know people do leave for selfish reasons & because it is somehow easier to live without their otherhalf.

Are you having a laugh? ds dad didnt psycologically abuse me, he cheated on me - other than that he was more loving than any other fella i have had.
I know psycological abuse and suffered it at the hands of my father my whole life so i dont need telling the difference thanx.

And so what if i was unmarried - so are alot of people! there are people on here who are in relationships and have children but arent married - what's your point?

Yes the truth - HE CHEATED ON ME AND GOT SOMEONE ELSE PREGNANT it's hard to lie about that seing as there is a child with a birth certificate to proof it.:rolleyes:

I think you need to take a look at the real world and not be so judgemental, it really doesnt get u very far in life.

pink_phantom

I'd just like to say that I have been a single parent on benefit and I am now in a steady realationship and not on benefits. Having experienced the two I think it is alot harder as part of a couple because you have to juggle your relationship aswell as all the duties of being a parent. (like having 2 kids instead of 1:rolleyes: ).

Zziggi

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

Hi Zziggi....some very valid points hun!

Maybe you can use the contents of this thread for your next TMA:D :rotfl:

PP
xx

ah ha! Someone who knows where i am coming from!