Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

pipkin71

In one sense existentialist, I agree with what you're saying - no-one has the right to tell others how they should live their life, and I am glad that I don't live under a rule that allows for one child only.

What the OP was trying to convey, was how tough it is being a single parent. Other posters pointed out that it was also tough with dual parents and sometimes single parents on benefits were better off financially than dual parents who work.

As a single parent, sometimes it's tough. Dear friends of mine - a couple, work, have child minding issues, pay a mortgage and, at this moment in time, are worse off financially than myself. They also work many hours and see less of their kiddies than they would like. Another friend - a single parent - works 16 hours and claims WTC and is marginally better off financially than myself. My sister and husband both work and they are a lot better off than me. I could go on, but it's swings and roundabouts.

The OP has, through her posting, highlighted how hard it is for her on benefits and in doing so, invited comments from other posters. Now, since we are all individuals, mutual agreement of the OP's post was a very unlikely outcome.

There are women who have children whilst on benefits, knowing the state would increase their money. There are women who are not on benefits to begin with but circumstances change and benefits are necessary. You don't get a great amount but you can survive with them.

For me personally, it would be so easy to sit here feeling sorry for myself, feeling bitter about my children's father, bitter about the accident that left me disabled but I don't because I have a fulfilling life, a roof over our heads, food in the cupboards, heat, clean hot running water and best of all - and the one thing I can thank my ex for - two gorgeous children. There are many women out there who cannot conceive and would crave the life I have, and I think sometimes people need to step back and just look at what they have got.

What the government in China set out to do was avoid over populating their country. For all the rights or wrongs of it they are aware of the problems of over population - I've always believed that natural disasters are nature's way of reducing over population, particularly as they so often happen in the majority countries. I'm not asking for everyone on here to agree with that, it's just a personal belief.

People do feel heated at women / couples who cannot afford to have children yet do because the state will provide for them. There's nothing they can do about it because, as you pointed out, no-one has the authority to stop women conceiving time after time if that is what they choose to do. We are, after all, a free democratic country.

Looking at the bigger picture though - how long will we remain a free country, in the sense of free NHS service free education etcetera, because, as I have said before, the welfare state is not a bottomless pit and it may well be our children's children who suffer the effects when they reach adulthood.

On a final note, I am grateful for the benefits system we have - without it I don't know how I would have managed. I'm also glad we've progressed through the days of the workhouse, and hey, the world's not brilliant, but I for one am going to make the most of my limited time here, because life well and truly is too short to be bitter.

Regards
Pipkin xxx

lynzpower

Also to add that I believe all this talk about how much pensioners get from the state is a red herring.

the point is as far as I see it, that pensioners are NOT ABLE to earn & are legally discriminated against paid employment.

Single parents, or anyone else on JSA etc are not.

therefore the rates set for those who are fit, healthy and of working age, are set at the lowest point in order to encourage those who choose to work to do so. YES, i accept as I said earlier that there is a lack of a) jobs in some areas that wil fit around school/ childcare b) that there is a lack of childcare fullstop c) that the childcare is broadly unaffordable for many at the lower end of the earning spectrum

to compare older people with people of working age is like comparing apples and pears.

elantan

lynz pipkin you two hit the nail squarely on the head with those comments

Former_MSE_Forum_Manager

OK

I think this thread has now reached what I consider to be its saturation point. We're getting into a situation now where it appears the arguing has overtaken the base of the thread and im going to close it now and give everyone a chance to take a deep breath as I feel the relevent points have been presented.