Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

astonsmummy

Anthillmob wrote:

oh and so its different is it? how about nights up with baby because your oh has got work the next day so needs their sleep but im ok coz im on mat.leave? or if he should go out for an evening?

its all the bleeding same. its a struggle/hard job whatever the circumstances. dont tell me because someones single its 10 times worse than being in a relationship.

atm im a SAHM so i do most of the hard work. should i start bleating about how hard done by i am? how hard it is?

I cant beleive what i'm reading - right so if in the night god forbidd one of your children was i'll, i'm sure your OH would help yes? you would have someone to accompany you to the hospital and sit next to your sick child in the bed, a shoulder to cry on well single parents dont get that - i'm not saying it is constantly hard, but it can be emotionally draining.

astonsmummy

krisskross wrote:

Do none of the single parents on this thread have any help from the other parent? There is never any mention of the other parent and any input they have into their children's lives.

From other ongoing threads I see fathers absolutely desperate to be a part of their childrens lives, but not allowed by the mothers, or access made very difficult.

DS dad left when i was about 3 and a half months pregnant, i have seen him a total of about 5 times since then, he is a selfish !!!!, who just cant be bothered, i've never stopped him but i dont need to anyway coz he just cant be bothered.
I must admit tho, i'm glad he left coz my life would be pants if he was still in it, but he's left his mark on me - messed my head up properly. At least i have DS at the end of it, it was worth the pain and tears.

Sarahsaver

Know what you mean astonsmummy. Mine wouldn't go and get medication for DS when he had been in hospital and I had NO-ONE else to call on.
At least my kids know who cares about them and have NO illusions. Better to be on your own than trying to create a picture of domestic bliss if you resent the very air the other breathes...
I'm with a LOVELY man now (MAN not a cowardly shyster) who has taken on my kids as if they were his own.

astonsmummy

That's great sarah, men like your new one are hard to find, and i take my hat off to him, any man who looks after their kids (even if they arent his) gets a big thumbs up from me! xx

Prudent

I am so pleased for you too Sarah, especially after the long hard struggle you have had.

nickyhutch

black-saturn, you're GLAD your ex wont be contributing to your children? That's money to help you bring them up, to provide for them, to give them the best you can, and you're GLAD you're losing £75 a week?

Firefly

The difference in the level of difficulty that single parents have as compared to two parent families is that when you are in a relationship you have someone to share the decision making with, someone to talk over your day and reflect back with you. I've got quite a stressful job and although I have professional supervision that isn't quite the same as being able to de-brief over dinner. I know that many couples don't have the quality of relationship where they can discuss freely but single parents don't have it at all. You've got to have done it to realise how lonely it can be when all the children are in bed, or in the middle of the night when you hear a noise downstairs. You can feel alone and that is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Sarahsaver

A common misconception is that people choose single parenthood. Some do but the majority do not.
Mum was a single parent when dad died, but the term single mum didnt really exist then. She didnt even clain free school meals 'because of the stigma' :rolleyes:
I had to choose between being married and bringing my kids up in an environment of fear where drug taking was accepted, or be single. Um now let me see...difficult choice? NOT!

black-saturn

nickyhutch wrote:

black-saturn, you're GLAD your ex wont be contributing to your children? That's money to help you bring them up, to provide for them, to give them the best you can, and you're GLAD you're losing £75 a week?

Yes I am, I don't need it and if he's not seeing the children anymore (by court order) it means all ties with him have severed. It's also about time he suffered a bit and I know he won't cope on benefit. I have also never received a penny of this payment because it just so happens that his redundancy coincided with me getting a job.

**purplemoon**

Anthillmob wrote:

oh and so its different is it? how about nights up with baby because your oh has got work the next day so needs their sleep but im ok coz im on mat.leave? or if he should go out for an evening?

its all the bleeding same. its a struggle/hard job whatever the circumstances. dont tell me because someones single its 10 times worse than being in a relationship.

atm im a SAHM so i do most of the hard work. should i start bleating about how hard done by i am? how hard it is?

Yes, parenting is difficult, single or in a couple, but when you're single you don't have someone to support you, to talk things through with, give you a cuddle or to share all those precious moments with. That's why it's so much harder.