Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

black-saturn

Anthillmob wrote:

shall i reapeat what i said by shouting?

whilst i find loads on messages on here heartbreaking it isnt just single parents who scrimp and save an struggle.

parenting full stop - the hardest job in the world. single or not.

if youre single and disagree then my heart bleeds it really does.

Have you had any experience of bringing up children on your own?

Firefly

Anthillmob wrote:

shall i reapeat what i said by shouting?

whilst i find loads on messages on here heartbreaking it isnt just single parents who scrimp and save an struggle.

parenting full stop - the hardest job in the world. single or not.

if youre single and disagree then my heart bleeds it really does.

It's also the most rewarding job and one that none of us would change for the world. The pay is crap, the hours and the pay extortionate but the bonus is immense!

pandas66

Actually 1 of the better moments is that the kids only ever have had my imput, 1 set of rules to be followed non of this running to the other parent and 'sides'. Saved an enormous amount of squabbles.

Becles

krisskross wrote:

Do none of the single parents on this thread have any help from the other parent? There is never any mention of the other parent and any input they have into their children's lives.

From other ongoing threads I see fathers absolutely desperate to be a part of their childrens lives, but not allowed by the mothers, or access made very difficult.

My ex rarely sees the children but that's his choice. I've never stopped him seeing them, and he can see them whenever he wishes. Usually he manages a couple of hours every 6-8 weeks.

He lives 3 miles away and actually passes my village on his journey to/from work, which is 5 miles from here. I've suggested more frequent visits or even just calling in for an hour on his way to and from work, but he never does. At the moment, the eldest is playing his step-Dad at FIFA football on the playstation, and they're giggling and carrying on all the time! There's nothing to stop their real Dad popping round and doing similar, or going and kicking the ball round the grass out the back of us, but he chooses not to come round.

Oddly enough he's never scrimped on the maintenance. I said at the beginning he could either pay voluntarily or we could involve the CSA. To be fair to him, I get £85 a week from him, which he suggested and I'm happy with. He worked that out as 20% of net wages as per CSA rules.

edit - just to add, ex is currently living with someone with a teenage son, and my boys feel resentful that he spends time with him, but not them

krisskross

pandas66 wrote:

Actually 1 of the better moments is that the kids only ever have had my imput, 1 set of rules to be followed non of this running to the other parent and 'sides'. Saved an enormous amount of squabbles.

That takes me back. Our daughters always knew their Dad was a soft touch. They used to meet him as he came in from work to get their side of the story in first:rotfl: :rotfl:

tazzababe

lil'H wrote:

You gotta do what you gotta do! It's easier than it sounds, i'm a single parent therefore have no social life, and you can get a lot done in evenings when you have no life!:rotfl: :rotfl:

Totaly agree with you on that one. I am a single parent of a beautiful little girl and am in my final year at uni. I did have a couple of jobs in the first and second year but problems with ex led to me leaving them. So, now whilst on my summer break I am claiming IS-£57.00ish a week. Its hard, my dd starts school in Sept, has her birthday a couple days later and I have had to pay half towards our bridesmaid dresses- no getting out of it- little sis's weding. I hate claiming benefits, the looks you get when you go to the jobcentre, people just assuming that you sit on your a*se all day and go clubbing at night. When I start back in Oct I will have my student loan- just under £5000 this has to last the entire academic year. Okay, I don't pay council tax but I have to pay everything else.
I chose to be a single parent- not in the sense that I went out and got pregnant on purpose! but that I ended the relationship and did my own thing. In a nutshell I caught him dealing drugs from my kitchen:mad: Many have said that I should have know-well I didn't. He wasn't perfect but he didn't seem the "drug dealin" type. So when I found his "stash" I took it to the police station, handed it in and filed a complaint. Sadly, nothing happened to him, unforunatley for me, he decided to repay my endeavours with death threats, phone calls, dead animals thrown into back yard etc,
So here I am trying to do the best I can as a single parent (currently on benefits), its not easy and I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

C_Ronaldo

mandi

your 12 yr old is 5"8, do you stick him compost then,

Anthillmob

black-saturn wrote:

Have you had any experience of bringing up children on your own?

oh and so its different is it? how about nights up with baby because your oh has got work the next day so needs their sleep but im ok coz im on mat.leave? or if he should go out for an evening?

its all the bleeding same. its a struggle/hard job whatever the circumstances. dont tell me because someones single its 10 times worse than being in a relationship.

atm im a SAHM so i do most of the hard work. should i start bleating about how hard done by i am? how hard it is?

viktory

Ah, so this thread has been resurrected!

Interesting point Krisskross made. Also, good point by Anthillmob.

However, I must have been lucky as I never found rearing my children that difficult. They had an extensive collection of videos :rotfl: ! We did have a sticky period with our daughter, but it was mercifully brief and all is well now.

I actually find it harder to work full time, keep the house in order, cook, clean and so on. I must be honest, when I was a stay at home Mum I found I had plenty of time for the children, housework and so on. It is now I am working full time that it is harder - and my boy is a great help in the home.

As mentioned in an earlier post, I don't get much time off and every day that is taken as annual leave is precious. When the kids were younger and I was at home all day I definately had more free time than I do now.

Smiley_Mum

My best friend is married with two little ones and she is at home with them while her husband is out at work. She does have a break from the kids a couple of times a week, for an hour or two at a time, but on the whole does everything herself. She does say to me though she doesn't know how she'd manage if she was on her own. She has a supportive family and good friends around her and I think just knowing that you have a support network there, if you need it, helps. I do everything for my kids myself I don't know it any other way. I want to be able to give the support to my kids that I never had, I'll be there for them no matter what. As far as their father is concerned, he's let them down on umpteen occasions. They don't want to see him anymore and I'm not going to push them into seeing him. They know that I am here for them, they are happy and well looked after. I've got info on courses at college and want to get started on that when the little one is in full time at school.