Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

Smashing

viktory wrote:

However, I must have been lucky as I never found rearing my children that difficult.

Well you're not going to win the 'most hard done by mother in the world EVAR!' with an attitude like that!

Prudent

tazzababe wrote:

I chose to be a single parent- not in the sense that I went out and got pregnant on purpose! but that I ended the relationship and did my own thing. In a nutshell I caught him dealing drugs from my kitchen:mad: Many have said that I should have know-well I didn't. He wasn't perfect but he didn't seem the "drug dealin" type. So when I found his "stash" I took it to the police station, handed it in and filed a complaint. Sadly, nothing happened to him, unforunatley for me, he decided to repay my endeavours with death threats, phone calls, dead animals thrown into back yard etc,
So here I am trying to do the best I can as a single parent (currently on benefits), its not easy and I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

You did the right thing, especially for your daughter. It is a hard place to be and will take you time to come to terms with it. I do believe you didn't know. I too have been there. I discovered my ex with teen pornography. He is head of a girl's boarding school. I too went to the police. He was not convicted because the police couldn't prove the models were underage. Like you, I didn't know when I married him, when I had his child... The hard reality hits when you make the discovery and realise that you missed many clues. I too had numerous threats. The dead animals were our pets. Hang in there and eventually you will live again.

Sarahsaver

Anthillmob wrote:

shall i reapeat what i said by shouting?

whilst i find loads on messages on here heartbreaking it isnt just single parents who scrimp and save an struggle.

parenting full stop - the hardest job in the world. single or not.

if youre single and disagree then my heart bleeds it really does.

But if you are scrimping and struggling when you are in a couple then more often than not something is wrong...
When i was with my sons' father I felt I may as well have been single, he was unable to hear a crying baby, and even insisted the littlun sleep in a different room because the little **** DID disturb him on one occasion, and had to do online shopping when he had a perfectly good car and all the time in the world to do the shopping.
Took a month in hospital after a near-fatal health scare, for me to realise that the night I came home it should not have been me who was sitting up with a 5 m.o. baby with a tummy upset!

Some people are good, some people are bad, some struggle and some do not but thank goodness we are all different!:)

BTW...If you don't like this thread ...don't look at it! :rolleyes:

nickyhutch

Black saturn - do you have to accept his money if you wish he didn't pay it? COuld you give it to charity, or put it away for your children for their future?

Prudent

pandas66 wrote:

yeaaaay to Firefly.........:T :T :T :T

Agreed. Thank you firefly. I think single parents should be applauded for their courage not run down.

lancsman_2

atm im a SAHM so i do most of the hard work. should i start bleating about how hard done by i am? how hard it is?

Change the word 'most' to 'all' in your statement, thats the difference between the two. It may not be ten times harder, you can't quantify that easy but common sense says a couple 'should' find it easier than a single person.

By the way I actually break the stereotyping of single parents big time... I'm MALE

D

black-saturn

Anthillmob wrote:

oh and so its different is it? how about nights up with baby because your oh has got work the next day so needs their sleep but im ok coz im on mat.leave? or if he should go out for an evening?

its all the bleeding same. its a struggle/hard job whatever the circumstances. dont tell me because someones single its 10 times worse than being in a relationship.

atm im a SAHM so i do most of the hard work. should i start bleating about how hard done by i am? how hard it is?

Your still sharing the parenting. You have another adult in the house to talk to and share decisions. Do you watch TV on your own all evening?

black-saturn

nickyhutch wrote:

Black saturn - do you have to accept his money if you wish he didn't pay it? COuld you give it to charity, or put it away for your children for their future?

He pays it by law and yes I save it for them. He will stop paying it soon though as he was made redundant 2 weeks ago :T

looby75

krisskross wrote:

Do none of the single parents on this thread have any help from the other parent? There is never any mention of the other parent and any input they have into their children's lives.

From other ongoing threads I see fathers absolutely desperate to be a part of their childrens lives, but not allowed by the mothers, or access made very difficult.

I for one have NO help from my kids dad.

He chose to leave me and the family home. I have bent over backwards to make is easy for him to see his kids ANY TIME ANY WHERE. He chooses to see them 3 days a week for 1.5 hours a time after he has finished work. always at either his parents house or my hose.

He wants to "play" being dad, not to actually accept the responsibility of being a dad. His girlfriend is exactly the same, she started an affair with a married man with children but refuses to accept the "inconvenience" of those children to her social life.

And the sad thing is, what goes on here isn't the exception to the rule.

astonsmummy

Anthillmob wrote:

as is being a parent when you have a partner.

why is it single parents have the hardest job in the world? all parents do, especially first time parents

Being a parent full stop is hard yes, but being a single parent is obviously harder as we dont have anyone to share the duties with.