Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

wigginsmum

looby75 wrote:

I know!!!! My ds is only 5 and he already walks into the room and automatically looks for the remote....what is that all about, is it in the male DNA to be in control of the tv at all times or something? :rotfl:

Yes but it gets worse once they reach about 10 and discover KERRANG! channel. My stepson would come in, turn on KERRANG! very loudly so the whole room vibrates ... then go back upstairs.

viktory

Perhaps it is time to put another perspective on this. I work full time and earn what some would consider a decent wage of £19,000 per annum. It has taken me years to reach these dizzy heights, but how much of that hard earned cash do I actually get to keep?

Tax, per month, is £219.90. NI is £121.22. Salary sacrifice (pension payment so that I don't depend on the hard pressed Government in my dotage) is £63.34. My company also pays into my pension. This leaves take home pay of £1179.04. I receive no WTC.

My housing costs (including the wonderful council tax -which has gone up by £20 per year to pay for the Olympic Games) are £500 per month. By the time I have paid electric, gas, water, TV licence, home contents insurance, and phone bills I am not left with an awful lot. I also have to pay for clothes as I have to be smartly dressed for work and also travelling costs to also get to work.

I work five days a week from 9-5 in a very stressful job. I didnt choose this job - it appears that this is where my talents lie!

My annual leave is not overly generous, although we are given 3 days carers leave - which can be taken with no notice (for example if my son became ill and needed a visit to the doctors). I have to juggle any time off I have with the needs of my colleagues.

Fortunately I don't have any serious debt, just a small interest free loan that I knew I could pay when I took the loan out.

Despite all that, I would not be on benefits for all the tea in China. I love the intereaction with my colleagues and I love the fact that when I decide to buy something I can, knowing that I earned the money to pay for it. That pride thing again

The point of this post is that I don't actually have much in the way of disposable income, despite working very hard. I think you will find that a single parent with a couple of children will have very similar amounts of disposable income as me, once their housing costs (including that hideous council tax) have been paid. I get just as nervous as any single parent when there is talk of council tax rises, gas and electric rises etc.

My son (the only remaining child at home) is an angel. He understands that I have to go to work and will willingly carry out various chores while I am at work (if he is not working!). He will wash up, hoover, polish, load the washing machine, hang washing out and so on. He can even iron clothes and change beds. He can also prepare meals and feed himself. When he eventually leaves home and meets a partner, he will not be the sort of man that expects to be waited on hand and foot as I have brought him to be independant and self sufficient. He is also polite and funny. Many people say that he is a real credit to me. :T

EDIT: He does, however, have the male obession with the remote control - music channels at 7am :eek:

astonsmummy

looby75 wrote:

I'm a very sociable person and have lots of friends, and a few friends that I am so close to I consider them to be family, but they all have families of their own and at night they are at home with their kids (and SO if they have one) and I am at home with my kids. Bed time to morning is a long and lonely time when you are on your own, if it wasn't for the internet I think I would be a raving loony by now (and some people would say I already am LOL) It's my sanity and my downfall. I spend far too many late nights on this thing!

I'm exactly the same! come 7pm spuds tucked up in bed and i'm straight on here
Sometimes i think i'm a right saddo but then i think i have learnt so much from this site and it's helped me alot (plus i do like to join in in some of the discussions!)
I used to stay up really late on here but now i try to pry myself away at about 10 or 11pm :rolleyes:
Sometimes i think 'gosh if i had a fella, would i miss MSE as i wouldnt be on here as much :eek:

wigginsmum

viktory wrote:

My son (the only remaining child at home) is an angel. He understands that I have to go to work and will willingly carry out various chores while I am at work (if he is not working!). He will wash up, hoover, polish, load the washing machine, hang washing out and so on. He can even iron clothes and change beds. He can also prepare meals and feed himself. When he eventually leaves home and meets a partner, he will not be the sort of man that expects to be waited on hand and foot as I have brought him to be independant and self sufficient. He is also polite and funny. Many people say that he is a real credit to me. :T

Quick - clone him as a service to future womankind!

liney

Viktory, the thanks button has dissapeared, but i find your posts admirable. The attitude of some who blame their awful pasts for their actions years on astound me. Excuses, excuses..

A previous poster suggested that if he was only £18 pw better off working their was something wrong with the system. There is! The people in question are allowed to claim too much money in benefits.

I really must ask this though. How does one get a mortgage when unemployed? Black Saturn you say you went for abusive partner to hostle and now live in your own home, which is now mortgage free, yet you only began working part time a few months ago. How did you get someone to give you a mortgage when unemployed? I know you refuse to explain how you paid it off so fast, but the initial loan is what interests me.

rainbowrisin

mandi wrote:

Cheers everyone for your replies.. Although I havent logged in I have been watching...

As someone mentioned.. and I apologise , for not knowing the posters name. I have tried Buisness Link.. they offered me £ 1000 in increments of .. £300.. £400.. and another £ 300..

I need £ 900 a week for advertising for at least 6 weeks.. Yes I know its a lot , but if you put it into perspective..I can stop claiming benefit. and pay it back.. Which I dont mind at all..


Best explain the £900.00.. An advert the size of a " playing card" in the property section of my local paper costs this on a Friday.. ( or I can go for a £35.00 per week ad in the local Freebie.. Which as Ive found generates no interest). The Property section on a Friday is well read, by buyers & sellers.. ..

Hmmmm, not desperately helpful BL then?
If you have a good business plan, have you tried approaching some of the banks to get a business loan? If they turn you down they are often quite helpful with feedback on why they don't think it's a strong enough idea, which can help?
There are some banks which do offer advice as well as money with business start up - I think Barclays is one, but i believe there are others - if it's an avenue you haven't explored i'm happy to search up a few if that would help?
Is your service something that could apply to Housing Associations / tenants as well as home buyers - could you approach them to advertise (cheaply!) through their communication channels?
What about estate agents - if what you are offer is complementary to the service they provide then they might advertise for you, as it's something they could offer clients?
Is it crucial you advertise in the newspapers? Sometimes fliers, on-line, business cards or networking at local events (chamber of commerce often hold "social" events where everyone networks like mad) can generate leads as effectively?
It's hard to know what else to suggest without knowing the specifics of what you are trying to set up.
Hope some of that gives you some new avenues to try...Good luck

WestieFan

I know someone who bought their house when on IS/DLA and I have no idea how they did it or how it works but I understand that the DSS would rather pay a mortgage than rent, as they will then own the house (or a large part of it). B-S's case may have nothing to do with the DSS.

As for the people who complain about their taxes helping to keep single parents and their children. I am a working single parent who also pays taxes, although I had to depend on the system when I split from my abusive, drunk and gambling addict husband. I would never begrude a penny of my taxes going to people who are in a situation through no fault of their own. But I would like to complain loudly about my taxes keeping ex ........ he has been claiming benefits for over 10 years, although well able to work but only did fly odd-jobs here and there. I have never had a penny from him towards the upkeep of his children. He spends his day going from the pub to the bookies and because of the alcohol abuse I believe is now claiming DLA.

He probably has twice or three times the disposable income I have, whereas I am working in a low-paid job and struggling.

If you think about it, my ex is also a 'single parent' of a kind, but gets away with it because people hardly ever see the other side of the coin. Let's have a campaign against the useless fathers.

ps Before somebody comes on and asks why didn't I report him.... the reason being I quite like having the glass in my windows and the hinges on my door. Although anonymous, he would have assumed it was me.

black-saturn

Thankyou - it doesnt have anything to do with the DSS.

nickyhutch

black-saturn wrote:

Feel sorry for your oldest child with that burden.

That's a dreadful thing to say. On another thread black-saturn, when people commented about how you brought up (fed) your children, you jumped on your high horse and got offended. How can you now pass comment like that?

seven-day-weekend

liney wrote:

I really must ask this though. How does one get a mortgage when unemployed? Black Saturn you say you went for abusive partner to hostle and now live in your own home, which is now mortgage free, yet you only began working part time a few months ago. How did you get someone to give you a mortgage when unemployed? I know you refuse to explain how you paid it off so fast, but the initial loan is what interests me.

Maybe Black Saturn had no need for a mortgage. There are such things as inheritances and helpful family.