Brother thinks he's getting a raw deal with rent - What do you charge your children?

Redman30

He should be over-paying as with his attitude it's only so long before someone upsets him at work, he loses control & is fired. Or locked up.

Kick him out, he's poisonous, spoilt and vindictive from what we've been told - and his parents are enabling this behaviour.

Oldernotwiser has a good point, could be he's blowing his disposable income on weekenders up the nose & not quite able to fund his habit. Again this will only get worse, when the TV disappears in a couple of weeks you'll know his is the case

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

CharliLynx wrote: »

Hi guys,

An additional piece of information: A few weeks ago, my mother "cut him off" and refused to do anything without money up front. In response to this, my brother caused upwards of £600 worth of damage to the house. He is a violent person, although has never been violent towards people and his response to things going wrong is to present violent reactions and destroy things.

I hope he paid to repair all of this :mad::mad::mad:

My daughter has to pay for things (her things) if she breaks them and she is only nearly 4 - might sound harsh but she went through a phase of destroying her toys, or purposely destroying her clothes if she was in a bad mood - of course the money came from us as 'pocket money for helping with little jobs' ut it still helped her to learn things have a value and cannot just be replaced as and when on a whim. Your brother would have a very hard time if he lived with me with that attitude.

I can see why you are less than impressed...I'd say now is the time to let him fly the nest, or basically kick him out (obviously your 'rents can help him find a place) but simply living in a shared house or bedsit for a while will give him the kick up the bum he needs. Then IF he learns a sense of appreciation for your parents he can come back but with a new found attitude that he must contribute to his keep.

I moved out at 16, it was tough but i learnt to fend for myself and appreciate a hell of a lot. Even from my first saturday job i used to buy all of my own toiletries/snacks etc and gave a little keep - i think it was only about £10 a week then but i never complained. I also used to do all of my own washing/tidying from about 12yrs old and helped around the house from much younger than this.

I'm afraid your brother needs a serious wake up call.

kindofagilr

I personally would kick him out of the house, what an anal attitude.

When I was earning 14k I paid my mam £300 a month (my come out wage was £1000)

I wouldnt have him living with me, he can go into the wide wide world and see how long his money lasts him

paddy's_mum

I believe that it's the parents who need the kick up the backside for without their co-operation none of this could have come to pass!

Perhaps the unwillingness of the son to .. insert your word of choice here .. is behaviour very carefully taught to him by parents who lack spine or commonsense or both.

Errata

Tragic situation and nothing from the newbie OP since the first post.

Pollycat

Errata wrote: »

Tragic situation and nothing from the newbie OP since the first post.

Maybe the OP showed his/her brother the overwhelming disgust and distaste expressed on here about his appalling behaviour and he's gone off on one again and smashed the PC.....

Seriously, it would be great to hear back from the OP.

I do sort-of get where paddy's mum is coming from with her post - the parents do need to start taking the upper hand in this - and sharpish.

kingfisherblue

I'm appalled to read this thread. Has this man no respect for his parents or himself? I know that there may be mental health issues, but I am inclined, from the information given, to believe that he is just a spoilt brat who needs a kick up the !!!!!.

On the travel situation, my daughter works for a home care agency. For one of her shifts, which is one and a half hours long, she has to get two buses. The journey there is about fifty minutes, but the journey home is up to an hour and a half because of the bus times. If I take her, it takes ten to fifteen minutes. Most of the time, she gets the bus. I do take her occasionally and I always pick her up when she does the same shift one evening a week, as the walk to the bus stop is very lonely at night. She pays me a contribution towards petrol for this.

Her wages are erratic as it is agency work, but has settled over the last few weeks. She gets just under £200 a week before tax at the moment, but this is reduced whenever there are school holidays, as she gets autistic children ready for school whenever they are in, but not in holiday time. She pays me £40 a week for her keep. I also expect her to contribute to the houosehold by helping with the washing, cooking, etc - she lives here, so she should help with the jobs that keep the house running. I'm not saying that she has to do everything, but a few jobs a day to help out.

She also has to pay her own council tax (I'm a carer, so I get full counciil tax benefit - the amount on the bill is solely because my daughter works). She also pays her own phone bill and for diet Coke (no one else drinks the stuff).

The first couple of months, she struggles to manage her money - it was like water in her fingers. Now, she is saving at least £200 a month. I could ask her for more money, but having an adult child living at home means that it is an opportunity for her to learn about being a 'real' adult - bills, responsibilities, etc. I don't want to make a profit out of my daughter, but I do want her to live according to her means, and by saving each month, hopefully she will not be too wasteful with her weekly income (£40 spends) and also will build up some savings for the future.

To the OP - you really need to consider your parents' safety and so do they. Your brother will never accept responsibility for his actions if everybody keeps pampering him. If this means evicting him - possibly with police support due to his previous violence - then so be it.

If you and your parents don't do anything now, how long will it be before somebody is injured?

Pollycat

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I know that there may be mental health issues, but I am inclined, from the information given, to believe that he is just a spoilt brat who needs a kick up the !!!!!.

Let's not give this guy the excuse of 'mental health issues' - at least until that is proven or established by someone who knows him.
The OP did not, in the one post made on this thread, mention that this brother has mental health issues.
He IS - to quote the OP - a violent person:

CharliLynx wrote: »

An additional piece of information: A few weeks ago, my mother "cut him off" and refused to do anything without money up front. In response to this, my brother caused upwards of £600 worth of damage to the house. He is a violent person, although has never been violent towards people and his response to things going wrong is to present violent reactions and destroy things.

The first time mental health was mentioned was in this post a couple of days ago:

Errata wrote: »

Sounds like the brother has massively lost the plot. Has he always been a little !!!!!! or is this new behaviour ? If it's longstanding evilry then it's domestic abuse, if it's a new thing is he into drugs ? Alternatively, how's his mental health because he really hasn't got a grip on reality at the moment by the sound of things.

IMHO, this guy is a selfish little sh*t, behaving like a bully and throwing his weight around (literally) to get his own way, probably because that's how he's always behaved and he knows it works.

aliasojo

Errata wrote: »

Tragic situation and nothing from the newbie OP since the first post.

Cynical old me wonders if we were the entertainment. Maybe the OP and his/her pals took bets on who, or how many, would reply with 'kick him out'?

Steel_2

I read on one of the OPs other posts somewhere that she has a brother with a number of allergies who carries multiple epipens around with him. Could that be the same brother?

I wonder if his allergies were bad as a child and whether he was treated differently and with more latitude by the parents as a result?