Brother thinks he's getting a raw deal with rent - What do you charge your children?

Oldernotwiser

meritaten wrote: »

am I the only one who thinks this person may have a mental illness? his violent reactions plus his calculated to the hilt idea of his rent commitment? the OP may be so used to her brother she hasnt thought that maybe, just maybe his thought processes are not 'normal'. I would contact an organisation like MIND as i think this person needs help.

I would think that drugs are more likely to be the problem rather than mental illness; it sounds absolutely classic to me.

System

£50 a week is sweet f.a, :eek: if he thinks he's getting such a raw deal i challenge him to find somewhere to rent where he gets the same stuff included.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Mental illness? Maybe, but most people with a mental illness aren't violent scumbags intent on terrorising their way into being given near god-like status.

That particular trick is largely used by people who go on to abuse partners, pets and children.

It's enjoying power, control and the kick of seeing someone in terror cowering in the corner.

Beggar all to do with brain chemistry.

aliasojo

meritaten wrote: »

am I the only one who thinks this person may have a mental illness? his violent reactions plus his calculated to the hilt idea of his rent commitment? the OP may be so used to her brother she hasnt thought that maybe, just maybe his thought processes are not 'normal'. I would contact an organisation like MIND as i think this person needs help.

Seems to me his narcistic tendencies have been given free reign and have developed into a larger part of his personality than is healthy.

He is selfish and self centered, I don't agree that is indicative of a mental health illness, although I do wonder how this person was disciplined throughout his formative years.

Flearoy

He can rent a room in my house for 20p a week, so long as he doesn't mind me kicking his teeth in when he has one his tantrums. I could do with the outlet for stress...

PS - get some nuts. You sound like good people, and it's not right to be abused in this way.

euronorris

As others say, he's taking the p'ss and I think the best thing your folks can do is say 'Enough is enough' and ask him to leave.

After all, if he's so convinced that he can get it all cheaper elsewhere, then just let him try!

Also, how exactly does he back up these claims that it's cheaper by 'his calculations'? I suppose he therefore has evidence to support this? No?! Oh, funny that, eh?!

Oh, and if he ever kicks off like that again, call the police! Let them deal with his violence and hopefully, it will also make him realise that his parents aren't going to put up with that sh't!

What a disgrace he is!

RAS

Hi

When my neighbour (single mother) had similiar trouble with her large and aggressive son, she had a word with the local police.

They came round one morning by arrangement, helped her son pack his bags and escorted him off the premises.

He was shocked and angry and went to stay briefly with another family member, who very rapidly told him to get his own accomodation if he could not behave properly.

Five years later he is a pleasant young man who occasionaly house-sit when she is on holiday.

Bufger

CharliLynx wrote: »

Hi guys,

Have tried searching for a thread on this - I'm sure there is one - But I think my inexperience with searching board forums is showing through and I can't find it. Sorry!!

The basic question comes down to this: What do you charge your (adult) children to live in your house - if anything?

I've come home from university to find my 21 year old brother refusing to pay any rent, board or lodgings because he feels he is getting a bad deal. He has just started a new job earning him around £22,000pa in the local city and it is going well.

My mother has asked him to pay £50 a week. This covers all the usual household expenses (rent, gas, council tax, etc), plus his food and cleaning - mum still does all the tidying for him and his washing, for her sins.

He is saying that this is far and above what he should be paying (his "calculations" come to £33 a week). He claims that any evidence that my parents produce (reciepts for the PAYG gas/electric, or food) are rigged, saying that my parents have purposefully paid out more to bump his prices up and that we are "ganging up on him".

Equally, any contribution my parents ask him to make beyond the rent (for example, they drive him to work and back every day - no public transport here - which totals 30 miles a day and so they ask for some petrol) sends him into a total decline about how much they are charging him and how unfair it is.

An additional piece of information: A few weeks ago, my mother "cut him off" and refused to do anything without money up front. In response to this, my brother caused upwards of £600 worth of damage to the house. He is a violent person, although has never been violent towards people and his response to things going wrong is to present violent reactions and destroy things.

So, what do you charge adult children to live with you? Are my parents charging about right?
Also, what would you do to "make my brother see sense", because everything we've tried is not working!!

I would charge him - with criminal damage and kick him out! Task him to go and find somewhere to live cheaper. £50 per week for everything he gets is nothing.Kick him out and he'll learn some of lifes valuable lessons. You may find he becomes a less aggressive and more appreciative person afterwards too.

newcook

I earn a little less that OP’s brother but pay out about £600 on bills per month for my little 1 bed flat (not inc food or travel) – plus I have to do my own washing, cleaning, shopping etc.

With the wage he is on he should be getting a place of his own – most people who still live with their parents do so because they cant afford to get their own place or they are saving to get together a deposit to buy their first home.

OP’s parents should tell son to either pay up or get gone (and give him a date to be gone by). I would also only be driving him to the nearest bus/train station and telling him he needs to get himself driving lessons.

I also must add that this is the 2nd or 3rd thread I have read about someone who works miles away with no form of public transport to get them to work – why do people accept jobs if they know there is no way they could get to it?!?!? Or is it that they are being told by parents that they will drive them/pick them up everyday – in which case the parents have no right to moan about driving them to and from work.

custardy

newcook wrote: »

I earn a little less that OP’s brother but pay out about £600 on bills per month for my little 1 bed flat (not inc food or travel) – plus I have to do my own washing, cleaning, shopping etc.

With the wage he is on he should be getting a place of his own – most people who still live with their parents do so because they cant afford to get their own place or they are saving to get together a deposit to buy their first home.

OP’s parents should tell son to either pay up or get gone (and give him a date to be gone by). I would also only be driving him to the nearest bus/train station and telling him he needs to get himself driving lessons.

I also must add that this is the 2nd or 3rd thread I have read about someone who works miles away with no form of public transport to get them to work – why do people accept jobs if they know there is no way they could get to it?!?!? Or is it that they are being told by parents that they will drive them/pick them up everyday – in which case the parents have no right to moan about driving them to and from work.

re public transport,im guessing in this case he knew his parents would coddle him and get him too work