Brother thinks he's getting a raw deal with rent - What do you charge your children?

littlerat

Well I'm 18 on benefits (disability) and currently pay my Dad 20% of what I have coming in - and I actually feel undercharged on that, however obviously I buy my own stuff etc. That covers rent, electricity, food - I have problems atm but I'd normally expect to be doing cooking a couple times a week for the family, I do loads of washing when they need doing etc (don't do my own, do whatever needs doing, anything else seems ridiculous to me!).

By my calculations that puts his rent at about 85 quid a week - and I'm working on him buying all his own clothes, toiletries, doing a share of the housework etc. If he doesn't do any of that I'd think of doubling that for a start!

meritaten

am I the only one who thinks this person may have a mental illness? his violent reactions plus his calculated to the hilt idea of his rent commitment? the OP may be so used to her brother she hasnt thought that maybe, just maybe his thought processes are not 'normal'. I would contact an organisation like MIND as i think this person needs help.

penelopedee_2

Sorry but as previous posters have written, he is completely taking your parent for a ride. But unfortunately they have to see it, or it doesn't matter what you say or feel.

On that sort of wage and with the benefits of everything thrown in, including food and free taxi rides, he should be paying at least £100 a week. I bet your mum is more worried about what tantrum he throws next, not what money is coming in. I had friends paying this to parents when we were 18 and earning about £10,000 a year.

Perhaps if you feel this is his normal behaviour then he might benefit from seeing his GP for some help with his moods. In fairness he might not see anything wrong with his current behaviour. But it is controlling and manipulative.

borokat

What should he be paying in rent - I think £50 is the least he should be paying. I earn a little less than him and £400 a month goes to cover mortgage+bills. Another £400 towards saving for my wedding, leaving just over £500 for food, mobile, clothes etc. I don't run a car. If I lived at home then my parents wouldn't try to make a profit on me and equally I wouldn't want them to be worse off for having me there. In effect the 'rent' portion of his board is negligible because it's not like they'd be renting that room out to anyone else. It's really the electric, food etc that makes a difference. At this stage in his life he should be starting to save up for a deposit on his own place, or a car, or both. Especially given the situation with him travelling to work.
How to make him see sense - I think the way he has behaved is appalling, and I wouldn't tolerate him being in the house. So you can pretty much ignore all of the above.

tabskitten

Yes exactly- he has just learnt that a tantrum gets him his own way.
Your parents are not helping his progression into adulthood by continuing to treat him like a child. He should be treated like an adult- and that includes financial responsibility.

meritaten

everyone seems focused on the financial aspect - this person seems to me to be mentally ill. doesnt anyone see that? for gods sakes - he needs help.
you - as his sister - get him help, I cant diagnose him I am not a psychiatrist, but I think he has a real issue here.

tabskitten

meritaten wrote: »

everyone seems focused on the financial aspect - this person seems to me to be mentally ill. doesnt anyone see that? for gods sakes - he needs help.
you - as his sister - get him help, I cant diagnose him I am not a psychiatrist, but I think he has a real issue here.

I dont think he is necessarily mentally ill - just smart- its learned behavior, aggression gets him what he wants, he was just never taught as a child not to have tantrums maybe?

downshifted

How do the parents feel about this? Why is the sibling asking the question?

candygirl

He's taking the pure P1ss, end of story, and needs a quick reality check, by being kicked out into the real world:mad::mad:

anguk

We've just been looking at the prices of halls of residence for DD (it's another 2 years until she goes but I just wanted an idea). For a single room with breakfast and evening meal the cost is about £150 a week, a single room with no meals is about £80-90 a week.

If your brother is only expected to pay £50 a week he's getting a bargain.