Brother thinks he's getting a raw deal with rent - What do you charge your children?

CharliLynx

Hi guys,

Have tried searching for a thread on this - I'm sure there is one - But I think my inexperience with searching board forums is showing through and I can't find it. Sorry!!

The basic question comes down to this: What do you charge your (adult) children to live in your house - if anything?

I've come home from university to find my 21 year old brother refusing to pay any rent, board or lodgings because he feels he is getting a bad deal. He has just started a new job earning him around £22,000pa in the local city and it is going well.

My mother has asked him to pay £50 a week. This covers all the usual household expenses (rent, gas, council tax, etc), plus his food and cleaning - mum still does all the tidying for him and his washing, for her sins.

He is saying that this is far and above what he should be paying (his "calculations" come to £33 a week). He claims that any evidence that my parents produce (reciepts for the PAYG gas/electric, or food) are rigged, saying that my parents have purposefully paid out more to bump his prices up and that we are "ganging up on him".

Equally, any contribution my parents ask him to make beyond the rent (for example, they drive him to work and back every day - no public transport here - which totals 30 miles a day and so they ask for some petrol) sends him into a total decline about how much they are charging him and how unfair it is.

An additional piece of information: A few weeks ago, my mother "cut him off" and refused to do anything without money up front. In response to this, my brother caused upwards of £600 worth of damage to the house. He is a violent person, although has never been violent towards people and his response to things going wrong is to present violent reactions and destroy things.

So, what do you charge adult children to live with you? Are my parents charging about right?
Also, what would you do to "make my brother see sense", because everything we've tried is not working!!

BitterAndTwisted

This topic has come up many times but usually in the context of parents of teenage children who have started work, not a full-grown man leeching off his Mum and Dad. And leeching is precisely what he is doing! If he thinks he's hard done by I suggest your parents get the local paper out and have a look at what it would cost your brother to rent a bed-sit or house-share and it WILL NOT be £50 a week including utilities, food and laundry! Never mind being ferried about free of charge.

I think your parents should consider asking him to pay a third of his take-home pay towards the housekeeping and bills and not a penny less. If he doesn't think that's fair then he can make his own arrangements. He's old enough to be looking after himself not being a parasite.

ETA: I've just realised this man is throwing his weight around like an overgrown two-year-old toddler and that's ruddy outrageous! I think your folks need to seriously consider asking him to leave. I'd have the locks changed in a trice and wouldn't think twice about it either. He's a miserly bully and should be kicked out!

tabskitten

£50 is not enough!!

aliasojo

I think it's time for him and his bad attitude to move on.

diable

If he is behaving light an idiot then either your parents kick him out or treat him like someone in a BB £30 night with food but no use of washing machine TV blah blah blah and to cough up the £600 for the damage he has caused.

diable

Just re read the post, get your parents to stop taking him to work as that will teach him a lesson.

cupcake83

I think your brother has it far to easy, at his age I was renting privately and earned a hell of alot less, before this when I lived at home I was only working part-time due to studying and out of £500 a month I earned I paid my parents £80 per month, but did my own washing and brought my own food.

I agree with BitterAndTwisted he should be shown how much it would cost living elsewhere and if he doesn't start contributing a fair amount he should be move out and then maybe he will realise how easy he had it.

jackieglasgow

On £22 grand a year I'd be expecting him to pay bl00dy well more than £50 a week. Cheeky s0d. As for damaging the house, well, he'd be out on his ear, see if he can do that in lodgings for £50 a week.

Rent at least £30-£40 weekly, food £20-£30 weekly, washing and ironing, 75p per item, taxi service 70p per mile, gas and electric £10 weekly at least if he was in a bedsit on pre payment meters.

The right figure should be 1/3 of his takehome pay, 1/3 savings 1/3 spends.

Tell him to get his backside in gear.

Oh and one of those rental tellies is £1 for 4 hours viewing!

Cleaner depending on where you live is £10- £15 an hour. I could go on and on. I had a sister like this. Well, she is still my sister, but begrudged paying out any dig money when she was still at home.

BitterAndTwisted

What arrangements has your brother made to pay for the damage he has caused?

If he needs ferrying about to and from work he is in a very, very weak position to make any demands at all. I think your parents should point this out to him in words of one syllable very, very soon. I still think they should kick him out, though.

BitterAndTwisted

Rent £30 to £40 a week? The OP's parents live in Kingston in Surrey, the brother wouldn't be able to rent a dog-kennel for that there. He'd be looking at nearly £100 a week for a bed-sit if he could find one

DKLS

With the violence I wouldnt have him in the house for a Grand a week.