Anyone Child Free By Choice?

janninew

dizsiebubba wrote: »

Wow you totally missed the point of what I was saying and the entire paragraph above saying I agree with people who choose to stay child free...

Careful, you'll get in trouble for posting on a 'child free' thread when you are pregnant :rotfl: (though technically you are child free for the moment!)

SandC

I think we do get questioned so much because many thousands of people have thought they did not want children, then when they did have them (by accident or design), found out that it was the best thing they could ever have done. They want us to give it a go too as in all probability the outcome would be the same for any one of us.

I sort of have to agree re the sentiments in the above post... whilst I would never question or criticise a parent for their choices like we so often get, I would also not set foot in any of the threads where people are talking about their problems conceiving etc. It's not a subject matter that is relevant to me and I couldn't contribute anything to the discussion.

SandC

elletee wrote: »

Anyhoo... I love kids, get on well with them, they love me, but have never really wanted any of my own (well maybe for about 1 month somewhere back there). I have never felt pressured or a weirdo for not having them. I think deep down the reason I don't want them is I'm too selfish I want to do my own thing when I want and spend my money on me. I have nothing at all against those who have children - each to their own and all that.

x

I don't think we are selfish.... after all nobody is suffering for our lifestyle choice. Having a child is not a selfless act after all, you have them cos you want them.

DKLS

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Can't believe I have never posted on this thread!

I don't much like children (especially babies _pale_), am not a natural with them and definitely don't want any. Mostly I avoid or ignore children. However I was recently a bridesmaid and the happy couple's three little nieces were flower girls. I interacted with the shy little one at the wedding rehearsal, and again with a more confident little one sat opposite me at a meal, only to be told quite smugly that I am good with children. Er no, I was making an gargantuan effort because your wedding is important to me, because it's a bridesmaid's duty and because it was only for a couple of hours. :rotfl:

I had the same at a recent wedding and managed to entertain a couple of toddlers, god knows how I cant stand the things but I did have the ability to make them laugh like drains and they appeared to like my company, Although I did pass one back after it had shat itself.

Again this was noticed by some guests and it was pointed out what a great father I would be :eek: I would rather gnaw my own legs off slowly than have a kid.

dizsiebubba

SandC wrote: »

I think we do get questioned so much because many thousands of people have thought they did not want children, then when they did have them (by accident or design), found out that it was the best thing they could ever have done. They want us to give it a go too as in all probability the outcome would be the same for any one of us.

I think this is true and I also think everyone thinks they know better than you about your own life!!! Its such a shame... I have childfree family members, some by choice, some not by choice and they are always so upset by peoples pesky interference!

I sort of have to agree re the sentiments in the above post... whilst I would never question or criticise a parent for their choices like we so often get, I would also not set foot in any of the threads where people are talking about their problems conceiving etc. It's not a subject matter that is relevant to me and I couldn't contribute anything to the discussion.

But I guess that is because you have no interest in it. I have genuine interest in this thread, because although I want a child, I am close to a few who don't and I like to try and understand where they are coming from...which I do to a certain extent because I have known my entire life I only want the one...and people always tell me i'm wrong and it is selfish (how?) because apparently it is ok to interfere with other peoples lives?

How can you expect people to be tolerant and respect your wishes if they can't come onto a thread and see your point of view?

Sorry...typed all the above and realised it was in the middle of your quote so hopefully the different colours show my bit x

dizsiebubba

SandC wrote: »

I don't think we are selfish.... after all nobody is suffering for our lifestyle choice. Having a child is not a selfless act after all, you have them cos you want them.

This is so true!!!

Fire_Fox

Dizsiebubba: I understand totally you mean well and have sympathy for us. But this is a support thread for the child-free not a campaign thread, one of the few places we should be able to say whatever we want without criticism or judgement. Every forum I have ever been on the child-free threads end up invaded by mothers who pick up on frustrated or amusing comments like Edwardia's. This invasion invariably begins with sympathetic parents posting.

I am passionate about nutrition, currently working in lifestyle healthcare. I post against restrictive dietary practices regularly BUT I don't invade the low carb support thread to do so, I save that for the general weight management or healthy eating threads. I also don't go on the TTC threads to express my sympathy for those who are having trouble, then post about lifestyle modification even tho it is highly relevant. There are a few threads that should be a safe haven, most others opinions should be expressed freely.

BugglyB

I think the reason some people say 'selfless' is that having children forces you to put someone elses needs first, and do stuff you hate doing or that is boring when you normally would just say no.

Gavin83

Edwardia wrote: »

You're a pregnant woman on a childfree thread so do I care what you think of my husband joking with mothers ? NO

That comment is a bit unnecessary. I also thought your husbands comment was rude and I don't want children.

I also don't see the problem with pregnant women (or parents) posting on this thread either. As long as they're not being unreasonable I think it's a good thing, it adds another point of view to the discussion.

1940sGal

I have an aunt who likes to boast that her two kids were the first of us cousins to get married. Now one of them is expecting their first child next month. If you listened to her, getting married and having kids is the be all and end all in life. Never mind that one of her kids' marriage is nothing short of a joke.

God forbid people should take their time and settle down if/when they want to. Apparently by her standards if you're not married/have kids by the time you're 30 you're past it.

Poppycock. I've been happily single since January and if i have kids, so be it. But i'm certainly in no rush