Anyone Child Free By Choice?

SandC

Exactly Catkins.

How many friends have I got who openly admit they are not interested in other people's children and really they like their own (most of the time) but don't particularly profess to be lovers of children in general? Lots. Child free and those with kids are very similar in that respect - what do some people think, we snarl at our nieces and nephews and growl at our friends' children?

I hate the insinuation that somehow we are not very nice people in general because of the choices we've made.

We don't need a reason not to want children, we just don't. It's really as simple as that for us.

I also agree with previous posters re accidental pregnancies. If you really don't want children then you won't get pregnant. If you do so accidentally then it means you don't have as strong feelings on being childfree as you thought you did.

Lifeforms

I grew up with my "babies" I had the dolls, always wanted the kids, yet avoided the Teenager pregnancy epidemic which seemed to plague a lot of my friends, and still don't have kids. It's not even that I dislike kids. I just don't want to pass on bad genes for a start, and I don't want the baby months 24/7, the toddler months 24/7 the inbetween months, then the teenager years either.

I do quite like children, I have childcare training from way back, so I know how to look after kids, I also have seen my friends loving every moment of their child in one breath, and hating the tantrums the next.

I make a choice in life to not have children, and I'm happy in that choice. Sure when I'm 70 and thinking about it, maybe I might regret it, but then if I'm 70 with children maybe I would regret that.

Life is full of full chances, we all have regrets towards the end, but life is also about making a choice as you live it. Those who choose not to have children are not evil, nasty people. They are people as strong as those who choose to have children.

I have a delightful nephew who I get to spoil, and visit, and enjoy. But I also get to give him back at the end of the day which makes me happy.

People with children always seem to be surprised at how fulfilled a life could be without kids. They were not parents all the time in their life, they managed fulfilled lives easily before kids. I quite happily manage that without kids too.

ms_london

What did I start by bumping this thread? Haha.

It's nice to know I am not alone with my thoughts as to why I do not want children...

As for those who do have children posting on here judging or criticising our views, I wouldnt dream of popping into the trying to conceive thread or the other child related threads and making comments of this nature.

Xx

ms_london

Hermia wrote: »

I kind of wish that people did go around questioning people about why they want children. I know two women who had a child in the belief it would save their marriage, one friend had a child because she wanted to have someone in her life who would love her unconditionally, a woman at my work got pregnant 'accidently' because she was tired of working and I know women who had a child because that's what you do when you get married. If people who want kids got questioned as much as we do about their motives perhaps some would think twice.

As they say, it takes two to tango! Having children is a CHOICE, people should take the decision with the seriousness it deserves! Xx

ms_london

dizsiebubba wrote: »

From an economic point of view too, for every couple who have >2 kids, there needs to be a couple who have 0<2 kids or we will not have enough room for everybody!!!??

I agree with your comment but that also means that those who choose not to have children are subsidising those who choose to have them. There is no help for the childfree couple or even worse the single childfree...

ms_london

Edwardia wrote: »

OH is wicked, he walks past frazzled mothers in supermarkets when kid is screaming and says loudly: "102 reasons, why not to have children "

This did make me laugh as although I wouldn't say it, I would certainly be thinking it. Thank god for online shopping

And that is also the best form of contraception (not online shopping, though that might work )

ms_london

BugglyB wrote: »

I think the reason some people say 'selfless' is that having children forces you to put someone elses needs first, and do stuff you hate doing or that is boring when you normally would just say no.

I agree you might be selfless when you have the children, but I don't think the act of actually deciding to have a child is selfless, that's selfish, as it's YOUR want and for YOU... IYSWIM?

no1catman

Unlike some posters - I can say - I don't like children/kids/todlers and especially babies.
Perhaps bizarrely I enjoy watching Supernanny - perhaps to see the spoilt brats get their come uppenance!

Screaming kids in supermarkets, seem to set me off - I often shout out acroos an aisle - "shut up", before rapidly getting out of ranges of the high pitched screeches!

Next door has a baby girl of two, my bh hates to think what the peace & quiet of the back garden will be like in a few years, when friends join her to shreek about together - aaarrrrgh.

Had nephews palmed off on me, in times gone by, freeing my brother to talk to our father!

Though did have a relationship that turned sour (thankfully), missed acting as a father to her 12 year old more than her!

1940sGal

worried_jim wrote: »

but all those that are unemployed tend to- they get bigger houses, plasma tvs and new nike trainers.

Erm, unemployed person here who is single and child free by choice. Oh and I don't have a plasma telly, i certainly don't wear Nike trainers and i live with me mam.

Does that make me the exception?

Person_one

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Anyway, slightly back on subject, I get fed up with the phrase 'fell pregnant' as used by emerald_starcat for example... they use it like it's an 'oops, how did that happen' kind of event - like it was completely unavoidable. If the incentive is there, then it IS preventable.

Its mostly preventable. Every contraception in existence has a failure rate, even the most reliable such as the implant or male sterilisation result in hundreds of accidental pregnancies.

I'm very much childfree by choice, but I think some people get far too militant and 'anti-child' about it.

We actually need a decent number of people to keep having children, as part of that whole 'keep the human race going so there's somebody to fund my pension and install my stannah stairlift when I'm old' plan. We also need them to be raised as decent, functioning members of society which is hard work and can't be done quietly behind closed doors.

Its ok to want and have children, its ok not to. Why does this subject always have to end up in pointless conflict?