Anyone Child Free By Choice?

Hermia

BugglyB wrote: »

I think the reason some people say 'selfless' is that having children forces you to put someone elses needs first, and do stuff you hate doing or that is boring when you normally would just say no.

I work with kids and find there are no shortage of parents who are selfish and seem to resent having to put their kids first. I also find that some parents become selfish on behalf of their kids in that they are more than willing to let other children suffer so their kids can have everything. I think some people are selfish and some aren't and if you are, having kids won't magically cure that. I don't understand why the people who make the allegations about childfree people being selfish always seem to assume that childfree people have no responsibilities for others. For example, caring for parents. My childfree friend is a full-time carer for both her disabled parents. Her sister has one kid. Which has the more selfish lifestyle?

emerald_starcat

I never wanted children then I fell pregnant (unplanned) when I was 27.
Up to then I had numerous people telling me I needed to have children soon as my biological clock was ticking away.

Anyway I had my daughter and she is the best thing that has happened to me.

However if I hadn't of had her then I wouldn't know what I was missing out on so would have lived my life happily enough.

Tiddlywinks

emerald_starcat wrote: »

I never wanted children then I fell pregnant (unplanned) when I was 27.
Up to then I had numerous people telling me I needed to have children soon as my biological clock was ticking away.

Anyway I had my daughter and she is the best thing that has happened to me.

However if I hadn't of had her then I wouldn't know what I was missing out on so would have lived my life happily enough.

Ah, yes... here we go again...

You have seen the light - the 'mistake' was the best thing that ever happened to you...

Tiddlywinks

0^0 wrote: »

So are you glad your parents saw the light.;)

Eh? What's that supposed to mean? I'm a bit offended by that remark - the winking smiley didn't soften it for me.

My parents wanted children, planned their family and were happy with that choice.

Anyway, slightly back on subject, I get fed up with the phrase 'fell pregnant' as used by emerald_starcat for example... they use it like it's an 'oops, how did that happen' kind of event - like it was completely unavoidable. If the incentive is there, then it IS preventable.

Humphrey10

emerald_starcat wrote: »

I never wanted children then I fell pregnant (unplanned) when I was 27.
Up to then I had numerous people telling me I needed to have children soon as my biological clock was ticking away.

Anyway I had my daughter and she is the best thing that has happened to me.

However if I hadn't of had her then I wouldn't know what I was missing out on so would have lived my life happily enough.

That's a very strange post to make in this thread.
You clearly wanted a child - you had many opportunities to avoid having one, at every stage:
You could have not had sex (assuming you weren't raped). You could have used contraception. You could have used the morning after pill. You could have had an abortion. You could have given the baby up for adoption when it was born, before you even set eyes on it.

Your post is really offensive. You are implying that as a woman, I am missing out by not having children. I would hate to have a child.

0^0

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

How is that relevant to this thread? Yes, we were all children - and??? Yes, most people want children, and???

This thread is about those who are child free BY CHOICE... so, how many times do you think child free people hear these little gems:

- people that used to think they didn't want kids but then 'fell' pregnant (unplanned) which turns out to be the best thing in the world for them. They then insist on trying to convince others that it would be the best thing that ever happened to them as well... sort of like trying to convert an agnostic to religion.

or how about...

- you were a child once?

Oh, gosh - I haven't heard those before (well, for a few minutes anyway)!

None of those statements have ever bothered me to be honest but they obviously bother you quite a lot.

Maybe you should try and examine why mere statements like that do actually bother you.:)

I'm more interested in how well my tomato plants are growing.

Tiddlywinks

0^0 wrote: »

None of those statements have ever bothered me to be honest but they obviously bother you quite a lot.

Maybe you should try and examine why mere statements like that do actually bother you.:)

I'm more interested in how well my tomato plants are growing.

The statements don't bother me - they BORE me because they are so very, very predicatable.

Why are you even posting on this thread if you have nothing original or relevant to add to the debate?

Why offer that we were all children once? Again, why is that biological fact actually useful in continuing a conversation?

Did you join just to TRY to wind people up by throwing in a few psycho babble questions asking people to examine their reactions - get over yourself!

Any

0^0 wrote: »

None of those statements have ever bothered me to be honest but they obviously bother you quite a lot.

Maybe you should try and examine why mere statements like that do actually bother you.:)

I'm more interested in how well my tomato plants are growing.

Have you actually bothered to read any of this thread?
Why come here?
This thread is for people who live most of their lives subjected to the 'advice' or whatever you want to call it that you offered.
Wonder why they have an issue with it...
Lots of people want children-fair enough. No one is disputing that. Doesn't mean that everyone needs to hear that it is a must, 'they don't know what they are missing' and I can go on and on and on..
Everyone has their own lives, made their own choices and have a right to their own decision without being questioned all the time.
Live and let live.

For tomatoes go on Greenfingered board.

Fire_Fox

catkins

0^0 wrote: »

Dont give it if you cant take it.:)

Most people who have children actually want them, believe it or not.

And quite a lot of childless people seem to forget that they were once a snotty nosed screaming kid themselves.:p

I don't know about most people who have children wanting them - there seems to be an awful lot of women who get pregnant by accident. Also, as I said in one of my posts, I have lost count of how many parents have said if they could go back in time they would not have children.

Yes of course I know I was a child once but I still don't want any of my own. Me and OH actually love children and have always been involved with our neices and nephews and friends' children - taking them out, having them stay for a weekend etc. There can be many reasons for choosing not to have children and one of them is not necessarily that you don't like them