Anyone Child Free By Choice?

cocopops21

I choose to be child free too. I had to take care of my younger sister when she was a baby (I was in high school) and it was so incredibly hard. It opened my eyes and parenting just isn't for me. But whenever I express things like this, people tell me I will change my mind. My OH and I love our life style. We can be as selfish as we want, get as much sleep as we want, and can be as spontaneous as we like. Now that's the life I want even in old age! Having my child that takes care of me through gritted teeth and resentment when I'm old (if I'm lucky!), no thanks!

SandC

BugglyB wrote: »

I think the reason some people say 'selfless' is that having children forces you to put someone elses needs first, and do stuff you hate doing or that is boring when you normally would just say no.

Absolutely, one should not be selfish AFTER having a child but it's not selfish in my opinion to not have one in the first place just cos you've other things you want to spend your time and money on.

Fire_Fox

Gavin83 wrote: »

That comment is a bit unnecessary. I also thought your husbands comment was rude and I don't want children.

I also don't see the problem with pregnant women (or parents) posting on this thread either. As long as they're not being unreasonable I think it's a good thing, it adds another point of view to the discussion.

But is this a discussion thread? The OP doesn't read that way. If we want to debate lifestyle choices we should really be doing that in a thread on the 'Discussion Time' board. The 'Marriage, Couples & Families' board is intended for moneysaving but has also become a place for support and advice.

BugglyB

SandC wrote: »

Absolutely, one should not be selfish AFTER having a child but it's not selfish in my opinion to not have one in the first place just cos you've other things you want to spend your time and money on.

No, quite the opposite! The more people that made that decision the better really.

Azmataz

dizsiebubba wrote: »

From an economic point of view too, for every couple who have >2 kids, there needs to be a couple who have 0<2 kids or we will not have enough room for everybody!!!

More importantly, from an ecological point of view, too. There are just not enough resources on this planet for current human population levels to be sustained alongside increasingly developed standards of living. My choice to remain child free is just as much an eco-choice as it is a personal preference. :cool:

Kate78

I haven't read this book yet, but looks interesting:

The Baby Matrix

"In the movie The Matrix, the character Morpheus offers two pills to Neo—if he takes the blue pill, he will go on with life as he has before, believing what he has always believed. If he takes the red pill, he will find out what the “matrix” really is, and many of his earlier beliefs will be shattered. When it comes to taking a hard look at a specific set of beliefs about parenthood and reproduction that has driven our society for generations, The Baby Matrix is the red pill."

catkins

SandC wrote: »

I think we do get questioned so much because many thousands of people have thought they did not want children, then when they did have them (by accident or design), found out that it was the best thing they could ever have done. They want us to give it a go too as in all probability the outcome would be the same for any one of us.

Quite a lot of people who thought they did not want children and then had them found their original thoughts of not wanting them were correct.

I have met quite a few childfree couples over the years and they have all told me they are very happy and do not regret their decision at all. On the other hand I have lost count of how many people with children have said that although they love their child(ren) if they could go back in time they would not have any which I find sad.

catkins

Edwardia wrote: »

My parents bought me a dog one Christmas and he's lovely. No arguments, always pleased to see us, easy to feed.. only minus point between him and a child is he can't bring us a mug of tea Saturday morning !

OH is wicked, he walks past frazzled mothers in supermarkets when kid is screaming and says loudly: "102 reasons, why not to have children "

I have a couple of cats and, until recently, a dog. They are much better than children - far less hassle, they don't answer back, usually less expensive.

Although I would never say anything out loud to a mum or dad, I do look at all the screaming kids, all the mums and/or dads shouting at their children or, worse, swearing at them, all the mums or dads having to go out numerous times in the cinema because their child needs the toilet or trying to cope with a child in a restaurant (screaming, crying, running around, complaining how bored they are etc) and wonder why anyone would want any.

Maybe it's met but I rarely seem to see happy families. Even people I know with children nearly always seem to be moaning about them - not just to be but to other people with children

Bluemeanie_2

I have friends, who wanted kids desperately, and it really suits them.

I have a fair few friends, who would only admit to me, and never openly in public, that although they love their kids, if they lived their time again, they wouldn't have any. My Husband included.
They just felt "socially conditioned (?)" into it. If they had actually stopped and thought about it and how their lives would change they wouldn't have had any.

Gloomendoom

Bluemeanie wrote: »

I have a fair few friends, who would only admit to me, and never openly in public, that although they love their kids, if they lived their time again, they wouldn't have any.

You are not the only one. I have friends who have admitted the same. One did it in vino veritas in front of his wife and it created quite awkward moment.