Anyone Child Free By Choice?

ilovecheese

I am nearly 40 and have known from a very young age (13 or 14) that I was never going to have children.

I don't like children, I have nothing in common with them, and quite frankly i find them very irritating! (yes I know I used to be one!)

What annoys me is other women not being able to understand/accept the fact that I do not find their baby cute/adorable or their child sweet and fasinating. When people bring their babies/children in to work to show them off, I just walk in the other direction, mutting under my breath "my god this is not a creche"

I have lost touch with quite a few friends over the years, because I did not want to spend time with their children, I just don't get the appeal!

I am definately missing the maternal gene! Would love to live on an Island that did not allow children, that would be my idea of heaven!

Has anyone else that is CF noticed that parents on holiday never look happy? They always seem to be saying "don't do this", "don't do that", "no you can't have that", "don't touch that", "leave that alone" parents always look stressed even when they are supposed to be relaxing.

I am saving really hard this year so I can afford a holiday in an adult only resort! :cool:

I love my life, I love my husband, and I love being child free!

hamsterfan1

I have 3 children my sister has none, she never wanted children and that's that. She wouldn't even hold my baby grandson but I know she'll be great with them when he is a bit older

Mrs_Z

Yes, another vote here!Husband has a daughter from a previous relationship, and I think the whole experience shook him rather badly so at the very start of our relationship, he made it very clear that he did not want any kids.I'm an only child myself and decided that I was never going to have just 1 child, either it'd be no children at all or 2+. In an ideal world, yes, i'd like a half dozen children when I can stay at home and bring them up in a countryside, without compromising on a life style.As it is, in reality we live in a big city, work long hours and to be honest, I'm grateful at the end of the day to be coming home to my lovely cats and be able to put my feet up.I have no regrets about the choice because I understand that the idea of having kids vs. the reality are 2 very different things and I don't think I would like the reality - by which time it's too late.

Better_Off_1983

I am childfree by choice too! I am nearly 30.

I get the usual "You will change your mind when you meet someone special" I already have, been with him for some years and I do not want to procreate because of that.

"Who will look after you when you are older?!" Maybe the same nurse who will look after you in the old people's home!

There is a lack of school places, homes, jobs, money etc.... I would not want to fight or compete for anything in life, it is too much stress!

I have also lost touch with alot of friends because all they do is post pictures of their kids as their profile picture and on the internet in general and not making their profile private. I see a grown man in a relationship with such and such - you look at the who he his partner is and it is a newborn baby! !!!!!!??!!

no1gymbunny

I am childfree and happy with my choice. My OH feels the same, thankfully. We are not particularly tolerant of children. Especially in shops, pubs, etc.

My OH's cousin has two children aged about 6 and 10 and they are so completely ignorant. Whenever we visit they just have their noses glued to their bloody Nintendo DSs. They have to be prodded to say 'thank you' for gifts, etc. Just really annoying, yet the parents and grandparents have them on such high pedestals they couldn't possibly put a foot wrong. And don't even start me on my MIL!

I hate it when your friends Facebook profiles just become all about their children - scan pictures, videos, "interesting" statuses about how tired they are - yeah, we're tired too!

Also, my OH is in the forces and there is a very strong feeling that we are social lepers for not having children and there's lots of 'mum and tot' groups and so it's actually really hard to integrate being childless.

We feel that we were too selfish, skint, happy the way we are. Children are expensive and we owe a lot of money still. I couldn't imaging bringing a child into the world, knowing we'll create even more debt!

no1gymbunny

Forgot to add that my OH and I didn't want children at our wedding last year. It almost caused a revolt! One of my cousins actually refused to come because her kids weren't invited.

Also, now this is scary, I woke up from a dream this morning where my MIL had somehow morphed in Zainab off EastEnders!!! *shudder*

Dawning

I also lack the maternal gene. I never had that strong desire to be a mum. When colleagues had been off on maternity leave they'd bring their baby in to to the office and I'd go over and have a look but would feel like half a woman...all the other women would want to touch the baby and hold and cuddle it I never felt that. I'd have been more interested in a puppy, TBH. :eek: It's weird because I'm very 'girly' in every way, except this.
I was married for over 20 years, luckily my exH didn't want children either, but if I'd got pregnant by accident I'm sure we'd have loved the child and made good parents. But we'd have had to change our lifestyle massively.

I'm now 50 so definitely won't be having children. I never regretted not having them although now I'm settling into a rather staid middle age (I'm trying to fight that!), I do think it would be nice to be a grandma. I rather like the idea of grandchildren coming round. And handing them back, of course. But thats not going to happen. I don't have any brothers or sisters so I don't have any nieces or nephews of my own especially since getting divorced.

The hardest time for me was between the ages of 25-40 when friends were having children, and seemed to think that I was as fascinated by their kids as they were. Honestly, I'm not that interested in someone else's offspring....tell me the relevant information about them, but I don't need details of their every word or action, especially once they're older than 4 or 5. People do change a lot when they become parents, and not always for the better. I've lost a lot of friends over the years, mostly because it seemed like we no longer had anything in common. Friends realised I wasn't that interested in knowing every detail about their child, and I wondered what had happened to the friend I'd known, when all she had to talk about now was little Johnny's shoe size.

I'm relieved to now be past child bearing years. Nobody asks when I'll be starting a family anymore, and people look embarrassed when they ask if I have kids and I say no. I then feel the need to justify it by explaining that I am CFBC.

no1gymbunny

I'm not maternal either. I remember a few years ago, my ex's sister had a baby and we did the obligatory visit to her house with card and pressies and everyone was passing the baby around the living room. Eventually it was my turn. You can't say no, can you? So it was handed to me and someone actually said "shall we poke you to see if you drop her" - that's how uncomfortable I was!

I've visited families at Xmas and you'r expected to play with the kids and their countless amazing new toys. Er..no...actually I just want to eat chocolates and watch the telly. Please be quiet and play over there somewhere!

OMG, I could write a book on this! lol

kittieviolet

Interesting comment about how friends drift away when you are child free as you no longer have anything in common. I have also noticed this happen and is has made me feel very sad. It has also happened with regards to some members my family who rarely visit and if I do make the effort receive comments such as 'we were with the grandchildren, its not like you have any children for us to visit'. Ouch!!! It can make you feel a bit like a subspecies which is entirely wrong and denotes that your self worth is completely related to motherhood, which again is very wrong and unfair, all people have something to contribute.

Gavin83

no1gymbunny wrote: »

You can't say no, can you?

Why not? I went to see a friends new baby at the weekend and wouldn't hold it, just said he was lovely but I wasn't comfortable holding a baby. Didn't cause any problems.