Anyone Child Free By Choice?

[Deleted User]

joannaspanner wrote: »

I get '' why did you bother getting married if you're not having kids?'' nice........

To me, that just shows a complete lack of imagination. Marriage is NOT about children, it's about two people wanting to share their lives. After all, plenty of people have children without getting married. If anyone ever said that to me, I'd seriously question their intellect.

I am also one of those people who does not go gooey over babies. Animals, yes. Human babies, get them the heck away from me. I think there is an 'expected' way of going through life: birth, school, university, work, marriage, children, retirement, death. If you don't stick to this script, prepare to be questioned, but also prepare to feel satisfied that you've lived life on your terms as opposed to how others claim you should live. For me, that alone brings me more personal fulfillment than having a child ever would.

Souk08

Goldilockz, you're so right about the 'should's' and the expected path. Lots of people have no imagination. For me, its all about travel, freedom and time spent with great friends. Its not conventional, but I like it. I don't like animals orwant a partner either though so imagine what sort of Comments I get!!!

[Deleted User]

Souk08 wrote: »

Goldilockz, you're so right about the 'should's' and the expected path. Lots of people have no imagination. For me, its all about travel, freedom and time spent with great friends. Its not conventional, but I like it. I don't like animals orwant a partner either though so imagine what sort of Comments I get!!!

Kudos to you for living life your way! I can imagine the kind of things ignorant people say to you but it's good to remind yourself that their comments are nothing to do with you, they are simply reflective of the way they've been conditioned to think. A lot of people buy into the myth that you need a partner or children to be happy. Some think you need money and possessions to be happy. Not so. Happiness only comes from within: from freedom and relying on yourself, neither of which anyone else can give you. I applaud you and anyone else who goes against the grain.

Person_one

Deleted_User wrote: »

I am also one of those people who does not go gooey over babies. Animals, yes. Human babies, get them the heck away from me.

I think you can be happily childfree without resorting to being nasty about people's children. How would you like it if people said 'Ew get it away from me' about one of your animals? I know I certainly don't like it when that happens!

Both choices are equally valid, I'm CFBC but I actually like children! I love spending time with my friend's kids and I'd happily walk under a bus or my niece and nephew, I just don't want any that I'm wholly responsible for!

joannaspanner

Deleted_User wrote: »

To me, that just shows a complete lack of imagination. Marriage is NOT about children, it's about two people wanting to share their lives. After all, plenty of people have children without getting married. If anyone ever said that to me, I'd seriously question their intellect.

I am also one of those people who does not go gooey over babies. Animals, yes. Human babies, get them the heck away from me. I think there is an 'expected' way of going through life: birth, school, university, work, marriage, children, retirement, death. If you don't stick to this script, prepare to be questioned, but also prepare to feel satisfied that you've lived life on your terms as opposed to how others claim you should live. For me, that alone brings me more personal fulfillment than having a child ever would.

Yes I also didn't go to University either, I'm such a freak.

You also get people who assume you have to be some sort of corporate power crazed career !!!!! as well if you don't want kids, which isn't me at all. I enjoy my job, but its 9-5 and thats it, outside of work, thats it!

[Deleted User]

Person_one wrote: »

I think you can be happily childfree without resorting to being nasty about people's children. How would you like it if people said 'Ew get it away from me' about one of your animals? I know I certainly don't like it when that happens!

Both choices are equally valid, I'm CFBC but I actually like children! I love spending time with my friend's kids and I'd happily walk under a bus or my niece and nephew, I just don't want any that I'm wholly responsible for!

I wasn't being nasty about other people's children. I was being humorous. Of course I don't actually say this to people, but I certainly think it. And yes, people have said 'please get your dog away from me' and I haven't been offended. They don't like being around dogs so why shouldn't they express this? At no point have I stated that being CFBC is equated with a dislike of children. I was responding to a previous poster who had been told her mind would change about having children and she said she couldn't see this happening because of her dislike of being around babies/children. I was simply expressing my agreement for her situation.

All too often as females, we are expected to love children and want to bear our own. Expressing a dislike for being around children on an anonymous forum is completely acceptable and I would be grateful not to be called 'nasty' for doing so.

SandC

joannaspanner wrote: »

Yes I also didn't go to University either, I'm such a freak.

You also get people who assume you have to be some sort of corporate power crazed career !!!!! as well if you don't want kids, which isn't me at all. I enjoy my job, but its 9-5 and thats it, outside of work, thats it!

You're very much like me, I have quite a good job, but it's a job, not a career and it pays the bills. A lot of people seem to want justification on your behalf as to why you haven't procreated and pursuit of a high flying career seems to be the default they land on.

I didn't think it bothered me as my friends seem to totally get me, until last December when I was with two of them (twins) and said how stupidly festive I was feeling and one said 'what and you don't even have kids?'. Her sister looked a bit shocked and I just went 'er yeah'.

I really thought they all got it but perhaps I'm living in la la land on that score.

Oh well.

And you know what, my dear aunt passed away last week and she and my uncle never had children. But she's had a constant stream of people visiting her taking care of my uncle and generally doing everything they could to let her know she was loved. Some of whom have flown half way across the world to do so.

Bluemeanie_2

After some long thinking I think I am going to stay CFBC. I went into town last night with friends and got a little drunk. I put the washing on early and had a nap while it was washing. Then I went to bingo this afternoon with friends, then carried on into town and blew my money all on myself (buying blingy Paul's Boutique stuff that I am probably to old for! LMAO!). Now just waiting for Hubby to come so we can nip out for some dinner and cinema. Just don't want to give up my time to anyone or anything else!

Lifes_Grand_Plan

I am CF at the moment but have one on the way. At the age of 31 I suppose i'm having kids late in life but I didn't want to have kids until I could afford them...

However just wanted to say that its a good job that some people like most of this thread decide not to have kids or only have one or two... because there seems to be a hell of a lot of people popping out kids for fun these days... and if eveyone did it then the country and world would be very over populated.... its getting that way anyway, but nowhere near what it would be otherwise.

Angelicdevil

I am in my (very) late 20's, not unattractive, "popular" and outgoing yet I have no intention of having my own children

It's rather comforting to know that I'm not "on my own" in my choice! My relatives think I'm weird for not wanting them and I'm getting quite sick of colleagues saying "don't worry you will when you're older".......ermmm no I won't!

My best friend has children and I love them to bits and carry off the "brilliant carer role" effortlessly but boy am I glad to say "bye bye" after a few hours!

I've always had this feeling that if I were ever to have children I would adopt or foster. So many children out there needing homes, I definitely don't need to bring another one into this world.