Anyone Child Free By Choice?

jamespir

Person_one wrote: »

Put? By who?

were humans were born to breed if you dont breed your not fulfilling youre purpose

Person_one

jamespir wrote: »

were humans were born to breed if you dont breed your not fulfilling youre purpose

Gosh I didn't realise the mystery of existence had been solved. Well done!

DevilsAdvocate1

catkins wrote: »

I don't honestly care whether people have children or not, although I can't understand people who have more than say 2 because regardless of what another poster said, the world is overpopulated. What I do not understand is why so many people have children just because it supposedly "the norm". You get married and have children.

I cannot believe how many of my friends said they never discussed it with their other halves - they just had children because it was the next step after getting married. Some of them did discuss it once they were married only to find that one wanted children and the other did not. In almost all those cases the couples are now divorced - some because they did not have a child and the one wanting one decided to end the marriage and some after having a child, which one of the partners did not want.

A few of them are still together but have unhappy marriages.

My husband and I spent ages discussing whether or not to have children - it was never a clear cut case that we would not have any. We both like children and there were reasons for and against.

Having a child is such a huge responsibility it should be dicussed and given thought - it should never be down to having them because it is expected or the norm.

I agree it should be talked about, but I don't think it means the end of your marriage or an unhappy marriage if you end up having to compromise. I wanted children - my husband did not. I also wanted children (plural) rather than having one compromise child.

We now have 3 children. We did have a very unhappy spell which lasted the whole of my 3rd pregnancy. But the day before he was born, complications developed and I rang my husband to let him know. He hadn't spoken to me for months at that point. However, from the minute he found out there was a problem he was at my side and never left it until the baby was born (when the midwives told him it was time to leave). He was the first to hold our 3rd child and has since said to me how glad he is that our third child is here.

They have such a good relationship - J. is now 4 and is one of the happiest, sunniest children you could meet. Yes, my husband has made a huge compromise (well, completely backed down really). But he is wonderful dad and we are a happy family.

D.

Person_one

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

So in answer to your statement, I think there are very few parents who resent the lifestyle they gave up because the one you get in return is far more interesting.

D.

To you, not objectively.

Zazen999

jamespir wrote: »

were humans were born to breed if you dont breed your not fulfilling youre purpose

Actually, I think you will find that genetically; we [as well as all animals] are charged with trying to ensure our genes are passed through to the next generation. This means that those with 2 nieces or nephews for example have the same level of genes in the 'next generation' as having one child. Which is where altruistic behaviour comes in as you don't actually have to have the children to ensure the proliferation of your genes. Or, you can just let your relations do the parent thing; and get on with your own life.

We were most certainly not put on earth to multiply - that's a very simplistic way of looking at the issue.

However, as may or may not have been stated; you don't actually need any education or a licence to breed. Thus, some of the arguments are likely to be ridiculously one-sided in favour of being a parent.

Can I ask if any of the child free people go onto the multiple 'trying to conceive' threads go on and disrespect the 'tryers' and tell them that their choice is wrong or that they don't understand why on earth they are trying, or that 'they don't know anyone trying to conceive but they have the right to do so?' I'm genuinely interested whether many of them do.

Gingernutmeg

jamespir wrote: »

were humans were born to breed if you dont breed your not fulfilling youre purpose

The planet cannot sustain exponential breeding of the human population. A fertile woman can technically produce a child every year until menopause - that doesn't mean she should.

DevilsAdvocate1

Person_one wrote: »

To you, not objectively.

But that's the thing - I've done both. I was childless for a long time.

How can you know unless you've done both?

D.

Person_one

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

But that's the thing - I've done both. I was childless for a long time.

How can you know unless you've done both?

D.

Erm, are you suggesting people have children just in case they and up liking it?

jamespir

Person_one wrote: »

Erm, are you suggesting people have children just in case they and up liking it?

no he saying you cnat say you dont like something unless youve tried it

tabskitten

I persoanally have always thought it slightly hypocritical to be anti abortion if you use contraception.........

No doubt i'll be slated for that one..........