Anyone Child Free By Choice?

blobb_2

ceridwen wrote: »

I do have distinct suspicions that "accidental" pregnancies are really deliberate pregnancies that a woman hasnt discussed with her partner/spouse and is unsure of his reaction - so she has staged an "accidental" pregnancy. Yes I know its taboo and against the Sisterhood to say I have severe doubts that there ARE "accidental" pregnancies in this day and age. I know I will also be unpopular for stating the obvious fact that - if someone really has an "accidental" pregnancy - then what is the objection to having an abortion??

I am a long time lurker but your post insensed me and prompted me to join. Believe me your suspicions are wrong and there is such a thing as an accidental pregnancy. I know because I had one. I assure you it was not ''staged'' in any way.

I wanted to be child free but once it happened it was up to me to deal with the consequences. I could have gone down the abortion route but my ''objection to having an abortion'' existed. I dont need to explain that to you as my reasons are too personal to print here. Because abortion was not an option for me I believed it was my responsibility to deal with the accidental pregnancy as best I could.

I became a very reluctant and unhappy mum-to-be. I wept for nine months, I tortured myself mentally and I dreaded the birth not because of the physical side of things but because it meant I would become a parent and it was the last thing I would have chosen for myself.

No moral to this story. I believe we all have the right to choose or not choose parenthood. I only wanted to make the point that accidental pregnancies can and do happen and despite your suspicions are not always part of a plot of some fantasy ''sisterhood'' who set out to dupe their spouses/partners.

Some accidental pregnancies have devastating effects. Luckily for me mine turned into my wonderful child who is now the love of my life.

*Maya*

catkins wrote: »

Can't believe you have never met anyone who is childfree by choice as there are lots of around.

My sister in law and husband are cfbc as are the sister and brother of my brother in law. An aunt and uncle of my husband are, a work colleague is, one of my cousins is and 2 couples I am friendly with are.

Over the years I have met quite a lot of other couples

Honestly I haven't. All my friends have children apart from a couple of singletons who are still very young. I have a big circle of friends and quite a large family and they all have children (and happy marriages ) I also know two single women who have adopted children. One of them was adamant she didn't want kids and then hit 40 and regretted it so adopted a Russian child.
Almo I have no probs with people being excited about finding like minded folk to chat about being child free with but I don't like all these comments about how there is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy and how it's not fair that working mother get time off etc. I don't have any problems with people being child free. Live and let live I say.

Person_one

I am a bit sceptical about accidental pregnancies as I've been successfully avoiding them for quite a while now!

I think they are mainly due to human error rather than actual contraception failure. If you take your pill at wildly different times every day or just miss one then you reduce its effectiveness. If you have the injection and are a couple of weeks late getting the next one you reduce the effectiveness. If a condom breaks and you don't get the morning after pill as soon as possible you're at risk.

I do however know someone very responsible and sensible who got pregnant accidentally, she due any day now and I completely believe it was an accident.

*Maya*

Person_one wrote: »

I am a bit sceptical about accidental pregnancies as I've been successfully avoiding them for quite a while now!

I think they are mainly due to human error rather than actual contraception failure. If you take your pill at wildly different times every day or just miss one then you reduce its effectiveness. If you have the injection and are a couple of weeks late getting the next one you reduce the effectiveness. If a condom breaks and you don't get the morning after pill as soon as possible you're at risk.

I do however know someone very responsible and sensible who got pregnant accidentally, she due any day now and I completely believe it was an accident.

With the pill some people are uneducated about what reduces its efficacy I think. Or are sick and forget that they aren't covered then. It does happen and although I'm sure that there are some unscrupulous women who set out to trap men with a baby I'm sure they aren't as many as some posters seem to want to think.:cool:

blobb_2

Person_one wrote: »

I am a bit sceptical about accidental pregnancies as I've been successfully avoiding them for quite a while now!

Never make the mistake of thinking that such things cant happen to you. I successfully avoided an accidental pregnancy for 20 years.

Person_one

blobb wrote: »

Never make the mistake of thinking that such things cant happen to you. I successfully avoided an accidental pregnancy for 20 years.

Oh I'm pretty paranoid about it, I take a test every 3 months just in case! If I'm ever going to be having an abortion I want it as early on as possible.

But it hasn't been that hard to avoid really, and the few times I've thought maybe I'd messed up and was at risk it was fine so I do wonder just how often you'd have to mess up (on average) to be unlucky. Or maybe I'm actually infertile and I'm worrying over nothing!

*Maya*

ceridwen wrote: »

if someone really has an "accidental" pregnancy - then what is the objection to having an abortion??

Emmmm.:huh: There are lots of possible objections to abortion. Having a sense of responsibility for your actions, being pro life????

screamer

*Maya* stop. This is exactly the reason before hollywood quit moderating the forum he was on. You are trying to force your own feelings, beliefs and choices onto someone else. You say you have reasons for being anti-abortion, well some people might have reasons for being pro-abortion. Respect other people's choices or don't say anything. This is a CFBC thread and you're telling us all that we're wrong. It's unfair, and you'll end up rubbing people up the wrong way!!

Person_one

*Maya* wrote: »

Emmmm.:huh: There are lots of possible objections to abortion. Having a sense of responsibility for your actions, being pro life????

Please lets not start an abortion debate. Abortion is legal in this country and therefore is a personal decision for the individual.

*Maya*

screamer wrote: »

*Maya* stop. This is exactly the reason before hollywood quit moderating the forum he was on. You are trying to force your own feelings, beliefs and choices onto someone else. You say you have reasons for being anti-abortion, well some people might have reasons for being pro-abortion. Respect other people's choices or don't say anything. This is a CFBC thread and you're telling us all that we're wrong. It's unfair, and you'll end up rubbing people up the wrong way!!

Sorry you've picked me up completely wrong. I am actually pro choice not pro life. I was merely responding to Cerdiwen's point that why not terminate an accidental pregnancy. I was saying that some people might not believe in abortion. Of course I respect other people's choices. I just felt that ceridwen wasn't.