Anyone Child Free By Choice?

rolleypolleypud

I've just read threw this thread with interest. I am not child free I have 2 and 1 on the way but I have never looked down my nose at peeps who chose not to have them in the same way that I didn't have them because I thought it was expected of me, I had them because I wanted to.

My 2 best friends don't want children and neither does my SIL and I have never thought it was in anyway strange. To me it's like choosing to have pets you either want them or you don't. I would be as horrified as my friends or SIL if I was ever with them and somebody was to say well why did you bother getting married if your not going to have children. Thats just downright rude!

Even though I have my own kids I'm not keen on other peoples. I know this might sound strange but I always feel uncomfortable. I love watching my children playing and making new friends but I'm not the kind of parent everyones kid come flocking too because I'm lots of fun. My other friend who does have kids is one of these big fun grown ups who could sit in the ball pool at wacky warehouse all day long playing with all and sundries kids.

It just shows how different we all are and that's certainly not a bad thing. The world would be a pretty boring place if we all were the same.

catkins

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

Erm ones a human being, the other is an animal

This sort of thing does nothing for the stereotypical image of a CF person
You know the sort you see on TV?
Almost always surrounded by cats

Well my dog and cats ARE part of my family and would still be if I had children.

My dog could have had a bad injury to his leg and was in a lot of pain so why should he have waited to see a vet?

BubblyMumbles

catkins wrote: »

Well my dog and cats ARE part of my family and would still be if I had children.

My dog could have had a bad injury to his leg and was in a lot of pain so why should he have waited to see a vet?

Exactly, I completely agree.

mumps

I am HR manager in a medium sized organisation and I don't find parents anymore unreliable than non parents. Some people are unreliable. I have had a couple of dog owners who were very unreliable, you don't seem to be able to arrange day care for dogs either and one woman brings her dog to work when she can't get any help with him. She is perfectly happy to run down children but god help anyone who objects to her dog creating havoc and barking when you are on the phone. I am not an animal hater, at one stage I had three children, three dogs and twelve cats, well seven of them were kittens a stray had in my porch and they did get good homes.

We don't have problems with holidays, it is first come first served but with my youngest doing A levels at the moment I am so thrilled that I can now take holidays in June or first half of July for a lot less than in late July or August when you pay through the nose.

I like babies and children but wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to have them just because I did and I don't think anyone should judge me because I had them. A bit of tolerance is a good thing.

ceridwen

red_devil wrote: »

I saw a problem on another board where a woman who is divorced with two under 5 is pregnant by her bf of 9 months. It was unplanned and the bf was unsure and had to talk to his mum about whether he would get her support etc. She gf seemed unsure if he wanted the baby and she said she didnt feel as if she could go it alone?

Anyway she reported back that he had told his mum and sisters and they were ok and she was going ahead with the pregnancy.

i dont know why call me cynical but i feel unsure that this relationship will be happy with the strain that she is having a baby they didnt want?

It seems a shame that they couldnt wait before getting pregnant. They have only been together 9 month and the bf dosent live with her?

It seems to be the modern way to do things with some but i feel that pregnancy has already rocked their relationship. I wasnt sure why he had to talk to his mum either but thats a different story what does anyone else think of this scenario?

No use asking me on that one:rotfl: - I simply dont understand people who go in for "unplanned" pregnancies/let "life" take over like that....rather than sit down and make conscious deliberate decisions over things...

I still feel so sceptical that there is such a thing as accidental pregnancies in this day and age....I am sitting here now trying to recall one single woman I can think of who has got pregnant against their will - and honestly cant think of one...

I do have distinct suspicions that "accidental" pregnancies are really deliberate pregnancies that a woman hasnt discussed with her partner/spouse and is unsure of his reaction - so she has staged an "accidental" pregnancy. Yes I know its taboo and against the Sisterhood to say I have severe doubts that there ARE "accidental" pregnancies in this day and age. I know I will also be unpopular for stating the obvious fact that - if someone really has an "accidental" pregnancy - then what is the objection to having an abortion??

screamer

Firstly, where has the humour gone? Until about 3 pages ago I was in absolute hysterics. Come on folks, keep smiling!! CFBC remember :-)

OH and I are CFBC. I am almost 32 and OH is 35. One of the things we talked about in our first conversation was about our want/need for children. We both found it a huge turn on that neither of us wanted children, and gratefully 16 months on we still feel the same.

I am one of the most maternal people you're ever likely to meet btw. My mum (adopted mum) fostered babies and at the age of 11 I was showing her how to fasten up a babygro, how to put on a nappy and how to make up a bottle safely (not having had babies before, the poor woman was clueless). In my teens I had 3 different babysitting jobs and loved every moment I spent with those kids. I have spent the last 10 years looking after my 2 nephews while my sister worked/slept/had an affair with her BF's best mate etc and to this day I still don't want my own children. I enjoyed every minute of the time I have spent with kids and still coo when I see a newborn baby but what makes me smile more is that I can go home, sit on the settee and do naff all for the rest of the evening when I know these women will be running around like headless chickens making sure their kids are provided for!

Both my own mother, and OH's mother have been pressing us to have kids, and both of our fathers have said "Leave them be if they're happy as they are!" We are blissfully happy with our "family" which consists of OH, myself and our puppy (he's nearly 3 years old, hardly a puppy, but it's what we call him. The baby of the family) We wouldn't change our lives for a huge lottery win! The last time we were asked why we don't want kids, we both looked at each other, burst out laughing and said "because we can't put them in a cage!" (It's where puppy used to go when he used to trash the house while out, he's a good boy now :-)

I've had a lifetime of experience of kids and I'm pleased to say that I can now get on with my life as I see fit. At the end of the day, I love my 8 mile hikes with OH, but cannot think of anything worse than TRYING to have an 8 mile hike with a kid in tow. NO FUN!!

OK, I will stop there, my Vodka and coke is getting warm. Some of us are maternal but some of us would rather be maternal with other people's kids. Being as drunk as I am right now with a kid screaming "Mam, where's my pyjamas", I'd probably walk out and never come back. I'm not slaughtered btw, just I couldn't comfortably drink while looking after a child!

Thumbs up to those people who aren't too selfish to have their own kids but major brownie points go to those who are brave enough to admit there's more to life than bringing up kids who will never appreciate the time and effort that's been put in to making their life the best it can be!!

FATBALLZ

I have a child, and intend to have another, but just wanted to say I am glad to see there are so many responsible people who decide not to have kids because they do not want them for whatever reason - there are too many kids born into families who don't really give a crap either way.

LameWolf

BubblyMumbles wrote: »

So obviously I've been a lurker for a long time but have now finally started posting on here.

I've noticed on this particular section of the board that there's a lot of focus on kids - trying to have one, losing one, having them as babies, toddlers, teenagers., etc., etc. With the greatest of respect, I also notice that there's not a lot mentioned about people who are child free by choice and in a relationship or married or not, whatever.

So I'm thinking that there's got to be some other people on here who are child free by choice?

I'd be interested to see if I'm the only one.

Anybody?

Yes, another one child-free by choice. I don't have a single maternal bone in me, and am extremely uncomfortable around children.

I was an unwanted baby myself, and I know there's no sadder situation.

tabskitten

yay- i am child free and love it!!
Oh and i can do what we like when we like- we are planning on up and moving to the states at the end of the year.......
Then who knows!!

I do find that some people just seem to not believe me when i say i just dont fancy having children- look at me like i am kidding myself and will change my mind in a year........

Too many people just have children as it is the done thing i think- and too many children are brought into this world to unsuitable parents.....

*Maya*

This isn't what I thought this thread was supposed to be about. I thought it was a place to discuss being child free not an invitaion to slag off and whinge about people that did have or want kids. And the comments about pets and time off as someone else said we rightly have a higher regard for human life in this country than animal life.
Honestly I thought this would be an interesting thread ( I wanted to read it because I have never met anyone who is child free by choice. Not ever.)but all it is is an excuse by the same posters who pop up all the time sayin over and over and over " I don't believe in accidental pregnancies, I think mothers are in it to get out of working, I'm brilliant and I'm saving the earth by not having children":cool: Imagine if parents started posting horrible stuff about child free people. There 'd be a riot. Honestly that sounds like paranoid conspiracy theory stuff to me. Time to stick the tinfoil hat on maybe. :rotfl:Or else just be a bit nicer about people who have children.