Anyone Child Free By Choice?

Morgan_Ree

Joelleski wrote: »

Darn, CF, 2 cats, and OH made me take the cuddly toys off the bed :rotfl:

:rotfl:

I believe it's when you own 3 or more cats you need to start worrying

Person_one

Joelleski wrote: »

Darn, CF, 2 cats, and OH made me take the cuddly toys off the bed :rotfl:

I'm allergic to cats, guess I'll have to have children anyway!

(Bubblymumbles, we do differentiate in this country between the welfare of animals and humans, that's why there's no animal NHS or dog benefit available to pay for food and collars! I think its a pretty mean boss who won't let you take an animal in pain to a vet but a line has to be drawn somewhere, where would you draw it? Most vets are open past office hours anyway so the longest my dogs have had to wait to be seen in an emergency is just 8 hours or so.)

LittleBottle

I have to agree that certain companies allow parents more leniency than those of us without kids. I work in a company where all time off is logged by code, there is a code specific to childcare and this is classed as acceptable absence with no reproach.

Morgan Ree - if you are someone who doesn't take the proverbial with this I can understand you being quite affronted at the suggestion, the fact remains that some parents do play on this allowance where it is available. However... as a balance to the argument there are some people without children who seem to think they shouldn't put in as much time / effort as others, always on the sicknote and that's far more commonplace. Neither is agreeable in my eyes.

red_devil

I saw a problem on another board where a woman who is divorced with two under 5 is pregnant by her bf of 9 months. It was unplanned and the bf was unsure and had to talk to his mum about whether he would get her support etc. She gf seemed unsure if he wanted the baby and she said she didnt feel as if she could go it alone?

Anyway she reported back that he had told his mum and sisters and they were ok and she was going ahead with the pregnancy.

i dont know why call me cynical but i feel unsure that this relationship will be happy with the strain that she is having a baby they didnt want?

It seems a shame that they couldnt wait before getting pregnant. They have only been together 9 month and the bf dosent live with her?

It seems to be the modern way to do things with some but i feel that pregnancy has already rocked their relationship. I wasnt sure why he had to talk to his mum either but thats a different story what does anyone else think of this scenario?

BubblyMumbles

Person_one wrote: »

I'm allergic to cats, guess I'll have to have children anyway!

(Bubblymumbles, we do differentiate in this country between the welfare of animals and humans, that's why there's no animal NHS or dog benefit available to pay for food and collars! I think its a pretty mean boss who won't let you take an animal in pain to a vet but a line has to be drawn somewhere, where would you draw it? Most vets are open past office hours anyway so the longest my dogs have had to wait to be seen in an emergency is just 8 hours or so.)

yeah, there's no animal NHS, but there are laws regarding animal cruelty and neglect just as there are laws regarding child cruelty and neglect.

I wouldn't dream of leaving my dog for 8 hours to be seen by a vet if he needed it, I don't think that's on, but that's another thread...

Yeah, a line has to be drawn I agree with that, where to draw the line I don't know, but you'll never convince me that it's fine to take time off for sick kids and not fine to take time off for sick pets.

BubblyMumbles

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

:rotfl:

I believe it's when you own 3 or more cats you need to start worrying

Phew! I've only got 2 cats and a dog, thanks goodness!

1_step_closer

I have read all of this with great interest. OH and I are childfree by choice in our marriage (he has a teenager from an earlier relationship) but we talked about us having children or not for a very long time.
I still get "do you have children" "dont you want children" "cant you have children" and depending on who is asking gets the following response:
"no"
"dont want them"
"cant stand kids" (I can but they dont need to know that!)
"cant have them" (to interfering witches)
"I am far too selfish"
As soon as I mention I am a step parent that seems ok..........as if the fact I have child contact in my life means I am normal.
grrrrrrr

And yes places where I have worked I have had to take holidays after the mums/dads who worked there.
Any charity work at work I "must" contribute to because "its for the children".
We rarely go out but when we do its to places where hopefully there aren't screaming kids throwing wobblies............I've stopped going to the cinema because of that reason. Pay £xx to have your whole evening ruined, um no thanks.

I think I should get off my soap box now..........

1 step

stef495

I've been a longtime lurker and I've finally seem to have found a thread that I can really relate to.
I'm also childfree by choice and even better so is my sister so it's great to hang out with the family no kids around whatsoever.
Our parents understand they say they wouldn't want to raise kids these days either.
If you see the way young kids act these days it's shocking parents don't seem to give a damn anymore they just let their kids roam the streets.

When people ask me why I don't have kids or don't want them I always say I've got better things to do with my life.
Quite blunt but I don't really see what the big deal is with not having kids I can only see advantages!

debjam

I have just read this thread all the way through. Very interesting conversations/debates going on.

I am CF and have never wanted children, and at 41 will probably never want them. I have spent years giving the same answer when asked by people about children "OMG NO!!!, I'd be had up for murder if I had children" with such a horrified look on my face they soon change the subject, it's quite funny really. I had changed my answer recently to "I'm too old for them now" but am going back to the OMG answer as I'm getting fed up of being told "you're never too old". If I didn't have them in my 20/30's why the hell would I want them now?

I asked at 23 to be sterilised but the surgeon (male) told me that he would not sterilise a healthy female until after she was 30. I suppose I should have argued more but here I am at 41 and still no wish for offspring, would love to find that surgeon and say "told you I wouldn't change my mind".

Once people get to know me they know not to discuss children with me and not to leave them in my "care" if they don't want a terrified child back. My sister recently told a friend of hers to send their child round to me as she was becoming unruly and a right pain the rear as I would soon sort her out.

I have a stepdaughter(29) who has a daughter(8). I have been with my OH for 7 years now and it is a source of several disagreements how both his D and GD are spoilt brats as far as I'm concerned. The D has tried to call me mom on several occassions and I just can't settle with it, the GD calls me nan I go along with it to try to keep the peace, but again can't settle with it.

We take the GD and my niece(5) away for a weekend (sun holidays) and it is the most stressful weekend I have, I come back shaking. The girls enjoy it as they get on well together but I just can't, luckily OH is such a kid himself I try to leave them to it as much as I can. I always joke that we never go to camps that are too far from home so I can just jump in the car and come home when it gets too stressful.

I have my "baby" a white boxer who is spoilt rotten (well at least when OH isn't here).

I have a lovely home all paid for and now only work part time, something I probably wouldn't be able to do if I had had children, and unlike my sisters, stepdaughter, or brothers house my house doesn't look like a toy store that's been hit by a bomb.

Well my bit entered. As they say if everone was the same the world would be a boring place.

Treacly

debjam wrote: »

I have spent years giving the same answer when asked by people about children "OMG NO!!!, I'd be had up for murder if I had children"

If I'm feeling REALLY twisted I tell people I can't have children because it's in the terms of my parole....