Anyone Child Free By Choice?

venus1978

Creditcruncher wrote: »

No I have not read it sorry.

So have you ever asked your parents why they had children or whether they regretted having them?

There is more to life than money you know.

Ask your parents, that first smile from your child is worth more than anything money could buy.:)

Watching them grow up gives more happiness than I could ever explain on here.:)

Yeah I have asked. My mum never wanted kids she wasnt maternal at all. She ended up with two with a 12 year age gap, me being the younger at 32. Neither were planned.

She has always made it very clear to us that we are loved very much and she wouldn't change us for the world.

I don't want kids at all I'm not maternal in any shape or form (my sister was and has a son) so I can't say that it has anything to do with our upbringing.

Do you mean from your comments that having kids gives you more happiness than I can have because I don't, that your life is more fufilled than mine because you have children ?

Yes theres more to life than money but theres also more to life than children.

angelicmary85

Zazen999 wrote: »

WHY did you find it odd and strange is the question? What about deciding not to have children is odd and strange? I'm genuinely intrigued [can I say it any differently?]...

Odd and strange is having 6 fingers or only barking in response to questions. Simply not wanting kids isn't and I'm genuinely interested as to what led you to hold this belief.

It's something that people wanting kids don't seem to quite understand...maybe it's the same if you don't want kids, you may not be able to understand why people want them?

I think S_S couldn't understand why people who follow the chain of events that society as a whole seem to expect...boy meets girl, gets married, have a sprogs, live in a 3 bed-semi... but she has explained that reading this thread has opened her eyes to why people never chose that path.

Oh and it's not odd or strange to have 6 fingers...everyone is different

venus1978

Creditcruncher wrote: »

Everyone is different. Some people don't want them but some people do.

But you did seem to imply though that your life was more fufilled than mine because you'd had children.

As I have said on here before I have nothing against anyone that wants kids. Each to their own.

Personally happiness and love are far more important to me than anything else and I have both in abundance.

NoAngel

I've found this thread interesting. I don't have children yet, and who knows, maybe one day I will. There's lots of other things I would like to do first though- work abroad for a while, go travelling and think only about myself and OH in terms of being able to do what we want. I really admire those that have said that they don't want children- I think it's a very brave thing to decide when society seems to percieive having children as the 'norm'. Nice to read some interesting view points.

ninky_2

i think another interesting thread would be on those who are pba (parent by accident).

Gingernutmeg

KimYeovil wrote: »

I can't imagine anyone being child-free through choice.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this, but I do find it slightly offensive. As I mentioned in my first post, one of the reasons I am child free is because my OH has an hereditary condition in his family (Huntington's Disease). We're currently watching OHs mum die, slowly, painfully and in one of the most horrible ways you can imagine, slowly loosing everything that makes her human. There's a 50% chance that OH will develop the condition, and we live daily with that worry and the worry that he will have passed it on to his son. Yes, he could have tests to find out but we both feel that there is no point in getting what is effectively a 'death sentence', and we choose to live each day as it comes, and face what might happen when and if it does. Even if I was the maternal type, there is absolutely no way on earth that I would risk condemning a child to what I've seen OHs mum go through.

Perhaps you simply don't understand the choices that some people have to make.

thistledome

Would have been interesting to have made this question a poll. I'd love to know the proportion of Child-free's. It seems to be much more common now than it used to be. Either that or I've just reached the age where I don't care what people think anymore.

Never had children, never wanted to.

Zazen999

angelicmary85 wrote: »

It's something that people wanting kids don't seem to quite understand...maybe it's the same if you don't want kids, you may not be able to understand why people want them?

I think S_S couldn't understand why people who follow the chain of events that society as a whole seem to expect...boy meets girl, gets married, have a sprogs, live in a 3 bed-semi... but she has explained that reading this thread has opened her eyes to why people never chose that path.

Oh and it's not odd or strange to have 6 fingers...everyone is different

If only S_S could tell us by herself. She's explained that she had a revelation, but not why she thought her own friends were odd and strange. Just seems a bit bizarre to have such strong feelings for so long and not be able to express them.

mumps

Gingernutmeg wrote: »

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this, but I do find it slightly offensive. As I mentioned in my first post, one of the reasons I am child free is because my OH has an hereditary condition in his family (Huntington's Disease). We're currently watching OHs mum die, slowly, painfully and in one of the most horrible ways you can imagine, slowly loosing everything that makes her human. There's a 50% chance that OH will develop the condition, and we live daily with that worry and the worry that he will have passed it on to his son. Yes, he could have tests to find out but we both feel that there is no point in getting what is effectively a 'death sentence', and we choose to live each day as it comes, and face what might happen when and if it does. Even if I was the maternal type, there is absolutely no way on earth that I would risk condemning a child to what I've seen OHs mum go through.

Perhaps you simply don't understand the choices that some people have to make.

I used to work with someone in your position. She was always so worried about her husband and watching for signs. It must be so hard to live with and you sound very brave. I hope your husband is OK.

euronorris

BubblyMumbles wrote: »

I take your point and completely understand what you're saying, however in my defence I feel that as long as I'm not fully respected for my choices then I see no reason not to be scathing to people who make other choices.

Yes, it could be argued that I should rise about it, lead by example or something similar but in my view, respect is a two way thing and in my exeprience for the majority of the time, I am not respected for my decision however I am constantly expected to respect those who chose to have children, and what's more I have to live in a society that completely supports and endorses their decision at every available opportunity.

Now we're coming up to an election just watch the parties start to trot out their 'family' policies to get votes, where's the policies aimed at CF people?

No one is ever fully respected for anything!

And by being so scathing, your disrespecting those parents who DO show you respect.

I'm sorry, but I think that this attitude only perpetuates the problem. After all, being so scathing will only get parents backs up so that they won't want to listen to your point of view.