Anyone Child Free By Choice?

*Maya*

LameWolf wrote: »

Yes, another one child-free by choice. I don't have a single maternal bone in me, and am extremely uncomfortable around children.

I was an unwanted baby myself, and I know there's no sadder situation.

Sorry to hear about that. :(That must have been horrible but you have obviously made a good decision for you.:)

Treacly

*Maya* wrote: »

Honestly I thought this would be an interesting thread ( I wanted to read it because I have never met anyone who is child free by choice. Not ever.)

Hi Maya - I think you have probably met loads of people who are childfree by choice - but we do tend to keep quite quiet about it because we are subject to a lot of suspicion and even abuse. Look around you at the people you know who don't have children...are you sure they all actually want them? Or are they in fact happy as they are? I can only speak from personal experience - I NEVER wanted children, never for a second, and I know literally dozens of people who feel the same. In my office, only 2 women (out of 10 - of all ages) have children - both are now single mothers after their partners voted with their feet, and both give every impression of being deeply unhappy.

OrkneyStar

I have one child, and we are stopping at that. We have made the choice, and although it is lovely to see other people reproducing I have no desire to have any more! Our choice. Yes we get the 'only' child comments but he is a happy boy, sociable and into everything! If you have chosen to have no children, good on you- of course there might be things you perhaps feel you miss out on, but then again, look at the freedom (financial, timewise, emotional) that you have! You can only make a decision based on what you know at the time, and it is nice to see someone who knows what they want/don't want! All the best to you!
x

OrkneyStar

ceridwen wrote: »

No use asking me on that one:rotfl: - I simply dont understand people who go in for "unplanned" pregnancies/let "life" take over like that....rather than sit down and make conscious deliberate decisions over things...

I still feel so sceptical that there is such a thing as accidental pregnancies in this day and age....I am sitting here now trying to recall one single woman I can think of who has got pregnant against their will - and honestly cant think of one...

I do have distinct suspicions that "accidental" pregnancies are really deliberate pregnancies that a woman hasnt discussed with her partner/spouse and is unsure of his reaction - so she has staged an "accidental" pregnancy. Yes I know its taboo and against the Sisterhood to say I have severe doubts that there ARE "accidental" pregnancies in this day and age. I know I will also be unpopular for stating the obvious fact that - if someone really has an "accidental" pregnancy - then what is the objection to having an abortion??

I do agree with some of your sentiment Cerdiwen but I don't think it is quite as clear cut as you state. TBH as I said I have one, wanted, child, but when people become pregnant unintentionally emotions can do all sorts of funny things (and it can happen that pills can fail, or some other reason I cannot think of this early!) that you might not expect.

rach

My DH always tells nosy people who ask if we are going to have kids that he prefers free time and disposable income to children!

before_hollywood

well i'm sort of child free by choice i guess......

i used to moderate a child free forum, i gave it up because every time i logged in there was another villified parent being abusive towards the organisation (the campaigning had started and we were on national tv)

i'm 28 and dont have any kids, i had an ex that was desperate for them, i thought we were too young at the time so she cheated on me and i walked away, thats when i became a mod on the cf forum. the way i see it is i have roughly 10 years to meet someone and marry them and get the whole kids thing underway or i run the risk of being too old, if it happens it happens if it doesnt it doesnt but being happy in my life is the main priority. the only worry i have is the only family i have are my parents, my other relatives either are abroad or dont bother with the rest of us (example- i moved 9 months ago, only 1 member of the family on my dad's side knows where the house is)

catkins

*Maya* wrote: »

( I wanted to read it because I have never met anyone who is child free by choice. Not ever.).

Can't believe you have never met anyone who is childfree by choice as there are lots of around.

My sister in law and husband are cfbc as are the sister and brother of my brother in law. An aunt and uncle of my husband are, a work colleague is, one of my cousins is and 2 couples I am friendly with are.

Over the years I have met quite a lot of other couples

usedandabused

child free by choice, also financially i wouldn't be able to support a child, and i'm not going to be looking for hand outs to raise a child, plus my OH isn't mother material just yet, few demons need to be sorted

Almo

Hi Maya,

I'm sorry you feel that people are being horrible about those who do have children. I don't hate people who have children in the slightest. As long as I am not forced to pretend I like kids, I'm over the moon when my friends who want to be pregnant, get pregnant.

I find it hard to give an interesting reason for not wanting children - I don't hate them, I just don't actively like them. I am conscious of the pressures on the earth but it would be a total lie to say that is my reason for not wanting kids. I'm just disinterested I guess.

If you feel that the tone of the thread is smug, I expect it's just because we are all excited to find people who feel the same. It is still somewhat of a taboo in society to admit that you are not maternal or do not want kids.

Rockporkchop

Very interesting thread. I am not maternal at all and can't stand other people's kids. I met my husband very young and we were CFBC for many years until we got to our late thirties and suddenly thought that we had grown tired of the constant holidays, nights out and disposable income.

We decided to try for "a" baby and now have 18 month old triplets. If anyone would like to borrow these triplets for a few hours to reassure you and reinforce the fact that being CFBC is actually a fantastic way to live your life then please PM me!

xxx