Anyone Child Free By Choice?

Treacly

Agree with Almo - there are a helluva lot of parents reading this thread and feeling moved to comment. Thanks guys. Remind me to lurk on one of the dozens of threads for parents/would-be parents, making aghast comments at how stupid and perverse you all are!

retro_bluebell

I have been reading this thread with interest. I have no problem with people that choose to be child free...I am thankful in fact that certain people I know have decided not to have kids as they are so selfish they would make terrible parents.

I agree that no one should be slated for their life choices and the majority of posters on here have been very mature in their responses. However when the odd few come on and slate all parents for making the choice to have kids, blame them for all of societies problems and suggest that their kids are roaming the streets causing trouble every night...then undoubtedly you are going to get peoples backs up and they will retaliate...they are no better than the ones they are complaining about.

As a mum of 3 I am the type that is apparently creating a bigger hole in the ozone layer and bringing this world to a flaming end...it would be interesting to hear those who suggest that we should be limited to one/ two children per person, what exactly they are doing to reduce their carbon footprint on this planet? I could give you a list of why our as a family of 5's footprint is likely to be far smaller than yours....anyone live in a 3 bed just the 2 of you perhaps? Or do you think not having kids is doing that? If everyone was "allowed" 2 kids each surely my having 3 is averaged out by 2 couples who actively choose not to have kids? (my best mate doesnt have any kids and doesnt want any- are we even now?) I really wish some people would look at the real facts and not form an opinion over what they read in the Daily Mail. My post is not intended to have a dig at anyone I really am interested as to why people assume these things.

Glitzkiss

I find it very sad that this thread has been invaded. As it is no longer allowed to serve it's purpose perhaps it should be closed.

Almo

I welcome comments from parents - I don't think we should be segregated in any way! Some of my very dear friends have kids, and all of them (at the moment) want kids in the future. That's fantastic and I will be over the moon when their wishes come true.

I just don't welcome comments that imply (or indeed outright state) that my life is empty because I don't want children. It isn't, thanks, and comments along those lines are not welcome in this thread. The flip side, as some posters, including retro_bluebell, have pointed out is that we cannot make sweeping statements about people who do have kids. There are good parents and bad, good drivers and bad, good singers and bad, we can't generalise. Live and let live, and practice what you preach.

Glitzkiss

Btw, I was including the inflammatory comments from some of the CFBC that were designed to trigger responses from parents and lead this thread off topic as part of the invasion.

As for the trolls (James and Creditcruncher ) I read everything they type with derision naturally

squirrelchops

Hi all, I haven't read all the posts on here but am posting in response to the original OP and the title of the thread!

I am 33 and child free. Before I met my OH when I was 30 and even up until about a year ago I always assumed I wouldn't have children.

I have never been broody and really never been 'fussed' about having children....I used to be, and still am offended by friends or colleagues who are of the opinion that 'you can't be fulfilled in life if you don't have a child'....I found these comments incredibly judgemental not to mention insensitive.

Most importantly for me I didn't think I would be any good as a Mother...this was due to my own upbringing. I really truly felt I would be useless.

However, I have slowly come round to the idea of liking to become a Mother as I do know I would be a good parent plus I would like to be a family unit with my partner.

BUT, if I were single I know I would still be assuming a child free lifestyle as I am not a woman who would do anything to have a child. For me having a supportive partner is crucial due to what I have already said about my concerns of being a good parent.

I totally respect if people want to be child free or to have children. It still amazes me how judgemental people are though. I have people now say 'oh you can't possibly just have 1 child' as OH and I are only really planning on 1 child so now I am subject to this opinion.

It seems to me that the topic of child bearing or not or how many etc is incredibly emotive (obviosuly) but some people do need to be more empathic towards each other too.

Woman have choices unlike before and I think we, as women should repsect and support a fellow woman if she chooses not to have children too.

retro_bluebell

Glitzkiss wrote: »

I find it very sad that this thread has been invaded. As it is no longer allowed to serve it's purpose perhaps it should be closed.

I do hope that isnt targeted at the parents posting on this thread?

This is an open forum and people can post where ever they wish. Im sure this thread wasnt created as a private parent bashing area, but if inflammatory comments are posted against one lifestyle path then you have to respect that people will respond we live in a nation of free speak after all....How would you feel if I started a post saying anyone with kids? Then post arent people with kids well weird?? Then expect you not to comment! Works both ways.

Saying all that I agree with Almo that we should live and let live....you are damned if you do and damned if you dont lol

Glitzkiss

Glitzkiss wrote: »

Btw, I was including the inflammatory comments from some of the CFBC that were designed to trigger responses from parents and lead this thread off topic as part of the invasion.

As for the trolls (James and Creditcruncher ) I read everything they type with derision naturally

retro_bluebell wrote: »

I do hope that isnt targeted t the parents posting on this thread?

This is an open forum and people can post where ever they wish. Im sure this thread wasnt created as a private parent bashing area, but if inflammatory comments are posted against one lifestyle path then you have to respect that people will respond we live in a nation of free speak after all....How would you feel if I started a post saying anyone with kids? Then post arent people with kids well weird?? Then expect you not to comment! Works both ways.

Hope the above post clarified things. The thread started out as a support thread for the CF who have to cope with annoying comments questioning their decision not to have children. Unfortunately some inflammatory comments made by posters naturally incensed parents and the thread is almost completely derailed. This is why, and only why, I think it should be closed.

retro_bluebell

Glitzkiss wrote: »

Hope the above post clarified things. The thread started out as a support thread for the CF who have to cope with annoying comments questioning their decision not to have children. Unfortunately some inflammatory comments made by posters naturally incensed parents and the thread is almost completely derailed. This is why, and only why, I think it should be closed.

True apologises for the tone of that post, it wasnt intended to fuel the fire any further...I will get off my high horse now lol:)

Glitzkiss

retro_bluebell wrote: »

True apologises for the tone of that post, it wasnt intended to fuel the fire any further...I will get off my high horse now lol:)

No problem, I should have explained what I meant a bit better in the first place