Anyone Child Free By Choice?

tabskitten

Creditcruncher wrote: »

Magnify that smugness a thousand times and that is how most parents feel.;)

Funny, thats not how they all look when they are sitting in the traffic on the school run, or can't do anything due to not having a sitter, or any of the ones with teenagers that I know- or 2 year olds for that matter, or the ones trying to push a huge laiden trolley around Tesco's whilst trying to sedate a screaming child- or three........

Frugalista

tabskitten, don't feed the troll

Glitzkiss

Frugalista wrote: »

Glitzkiss, I'm not sure I understand where you are coming from. In your five posts on this thread you have called for the thread to be locked; spoken of the thread being invaded; say that you now find the irony "annoying" and castigate CFBC posters for relating their own experiences and feelings when dealing with smug parents - yet you say each to their own and preach tolerance *confused smiley*.

My understanding was that the OP was asking if other people felt the same as her and had had the same experiences. People have responded honestly and openly about the hostility and/or suspicion they have had from others because of their lifestyle choice. It was also pointed out that this thread was a little unusual for this board and, as such, was an arena for people to talk about their decision to be child-free. I doubt very much that CF contributors are trolling the Trying to conceive or Pregnancy boards, so I can only assume that parents who are posting on here of their "indignation" about conclusions drawn from their choices are simply on this thread looking for an arguement .

PS: With all due respect, I don't remember voting you in as Thread Monitor . I, for one, am enjoying reading about everyones decisions to stay child-free - seems we are all very happy with our choices .

And this is why I was in two minds whether or not to post I obviously failed to articulate clearly what I meant.

I'll try again.

The thread started out asking for other CFBC experiences and on the whole it was a positive friendly thread. Unfortunately there were a few posts which were what I would call inflammatory -implying that women would consider motherhood to avoid having a career for a start. Naturally parents then started posting and the thread continued as CF vs parents with a few interspersed posts relating to the OP. At this point it appeared, at least to me, that the thread was getting derailed hence the suggestion that it might be better if it was locked. Not I should add because posters who are CFBC shouldn't have their own thread but because it looked like it was heading for a mass disagreement. Bear in mind it was only a suggestion and I don't see myself as thread monitor but as I member of MSE I am allowed my opinion

I'm CFBC but would never dream of assuming someone wanted children to only fulfil their life and yet that has happened in this thread. Can't we post our experiences without resorting to questioning others choices? Doesn't it make us as bad as the parents who think our lives are empty if we don't have children when we comment less than favourably on their decision to have kids?

And Mags_Cat, perhaps support was the wrong word and I apologise

LameWolf

*confused smilie* Surely the whole point is that each must do what is right for them.

I'm thrilled to bits if someone I know who wants a child becomes pregnant. However, I would respectfully decline babysitting opportunities.

I know my decision was right for me, even though I got hell-on-earth from my father when I was sterilised (yeah, one of the parents who didn't want a baby, or if they had to have one it'd better be a boy!!:mad:)

What always bugged me was that the medical bods made me wait til after I was 35 before they'd sterilise me. To this day I wish I could have had it done at least 10 years earlier.

Even though I'm disabled, and not now able to do a paid job, I still think I have something to contribute to life - it just doesn't happen to include children.

Respectfully,

LameWolf

SandC

Well when it comes to having fulfillment in life. Well, to be honest I'm a bit of an underachiever. I never did have a hankering for high flying but if opportunities had come my way I would have grabbed them. I work hard, an a diligent employee, always have been. But success in a career has never really happened for me. But being childfree by choice it's sort of expected that I have that time consuming career. Not to mention the takeaways, lie ins, holidays and drunken nights out that we are supposedly too fond of to give up for children.

But it's honestly not the case. You can have a very simple life of non excesses and still not hanker for the children. I am so past going into my local town on a Friday night and queuing up for drinks and getting hammered. Yet I've acquaintances who are now separated and either on a second wind or never did it the first time around who don't understand how a singleton childless person like me doesn't want to do that.

None of us should be tarred with the stereotype brush of parenthood or non parenthood. I am not selfish because I can do what I want at weekends because surely a parent is doing what they want as well - just that what we want happens to be different!

BubblyMumbles

Wow!! :eek:
You go away for a few days and it all kicks off!

Anyway, hi to all the new CFBC people that have posted since my last visit on here.

So I reckon there's too many points been made to possibly comment on them all but, yeah, it seems a bit odd to me that people who have kids are posting in this thread, I wouldn't post on a TTC thread for example, why would it even remotely interest me unless I wanted to have ago at people for TTC?

It seems a bit odd to me, and I certainly don't want to hear about how I'm not fulfilled or doing what I was 'put' here for (!!!!!!?!) etc.

But in saying that it's an open forum where anyone can post in any part of it, so I guess that's how it is, but as I'm sure I said in an earlier post, I have no problem in 'having a go' or however you want to phrase it at people who have kids that come out with the usual kind of crass comments that you get all the time when you're CFBC - if people can deal it out then they can take it back IMO.

In saying that, I had a lovely weekend away, although i did have to spend time with a friend's kids. I was just soooo interested (not!) in hearing about what kind of food they like and dislike and what a battle it is to get them to eat *yawn*

Glad to be home with the animals again!

tabskitten

BubblyMumbles wrote: »

Glad to be home with the animals again!

Hey!! Who you calling am Animal!!??

BubblyMumbles

tabskitten wrote: »

Hey!! Who you calling am Animal!!??

:rotfl::rotfl:

LOL!

ariarnia

Child Free By Choice-ish.

I never wanted kids and was always really offended when people turned round and insisted that would change as I 'got older and knew better'. Really patronising. Kinda in the same way that my nan insisted that I'd like tomatoes raw when I got older and I still don't at the age of 24.

Still, the ish bit. I always figured that if I wanted a child I'd adopt or foster - there are plenty of kids out there that don't have a home I thought from the age of 10 or so that it would be irresponsible for me to squeeze one out just for the sake of it being mine. *sorry if my phrasing offends anyone, but that's how I've referred to it since we had the awful video in sex ed of the woman drugged out of her mind squeezing out what looked like a water melon - not something to show teens, really.*

I never liked the idea that a baby is an all or nothing deal - you don't know how you'd cope until you have one, and the endorphins and adrenaline of finding out you've got one accidentally, or of deciding to have one, make the decision almost impossible to make with a clear head. Once you've got one, that's it, it's your responsibility for the next (min) 16 years - who know what's going to happen in 16 years? our economy can have completely collapsed and we could have turned 3rd world buy then!

But, that's why I say by choice, as it turns out, due to a punch to the stomach when I was seventeen and a resulting blood infection and womb infection, I can't have kids anyway, but
I don't think that takes away from it being by my choice and people say how sorry they are to hear that I can't have kids. Stupid thing to say. I don't miss something I never wanted in the first place.

I can still adopt, I can still foster should the maternal need take me, but we're over populated and failing as parents as a society anyway.

"It is estimated that approximately 40000 children run away from home every year." - http://eycb.coe.int/compass/en/chapter_5/5_1.html that's not including child deaths, child abuse, child prostitution or drug figures, so on...

Why would I want to add to the chance that it could be 40000+1?

coldstreamalways

OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMGGGGG, I'm so glad i have found this thread. Hi everyone!!!! I am and will continue to be CFBC. I'm getting married soon (66 days but who's counting....!!) and everyone EVERYONE says oh, how long until you have children once you're married etc etc.

I love being able to do what I want when I want and not have to get a sitter/get up in the middle of the night/drive kids to school/ballet/swimming/music etc etc.

I feel like by not having children we are subsidising everyone else who is breeding, they shouldn't "pity" us with their smugness (ok, generalisation) they should thank us for paying our taxes and not:
Using school places
Getting Children's tax credits
Extra Medical Care
the list is probably a lot longer

I'm a godmother (and a pretty good one IMHO) but no way would I want to be a parent, I think I'm too selfish and I also think I'm brave for admitting it.