Anyone Child Free By Choice?

geekgirl

Ah come on (said in a friendly tone), lets keep the thread friendly.

I have found this thread really interesting. I am a parent of three.

Frugalista

Another one here Child Free By Choice :hello:.

I also had all the "when are you going to start a family" questions - I would usually reply "Never. Can't stand kids" - that would stop them in their tracks :rotfl:. The pressure from my MIL was intense and even now (I am 52 ) she still bemoans the lack of grand-children. Fortunately, my OH (an only child) has always felt exactly the same as me - we don't like children at all and never wanted any of our own. End of!

I find it particularly disgusting the way pregnant women assume that everyone wants to know (in intimate detail) about the workings of their reproductive system and genitalia _pale__pale_. On one recipe thread I subscribe to on the Old Style board, I suddenly found a pregnant poster and her friends disussing things that were best left for a doctors surgery :eek: - I only went to find a recipe - Yuck!!

As for the parents who have come on here to post about how wonderful their children and lives are - WHY ARE YOU HERE?? I wouldn't (and don't) go on the "Trying to conceive" threads and start trilling about how they are totally wrong and how childfree is the way to go (though, I must say, that having dealt with animals all my life, if a female of any species cannot conceive naturally - maybe Mother Nature is trying to tell you something - though I guess that's for another thread entirely ). Surely the title of the thread would give you a clue??

By the way, I also have many child-free friends - and many "breeders" who wished they'd never had their kids in the first place. As somebody else said "Better to regret not having children than to regret having them".

Emuchops

Totally agree with Frugalista-Im 42 and have never wanted children, in fact I have always actively not wanted them.

I used to get lots of comments like"you'll change your mind" coupled with a knowing look-very, very patronising....and always from women, never men.

Not having children is the best thing I never did.

OrkneyStar

I wanted my DS, some want 3 (or more or less lol), some want none- it is our/our partners choice, and who is ANYONE to comment on anyone else's situation without being asked ?

tabskitten

Personally , when i read posts from parents saying that childless people are not fulfilling their meaning in life it just makes me smile inside and feel rather smug. Because I know that i am a secure enough person to be fulfilled by just being me, and doing with my life what i want.

If i wanted children i would have them- and i think i would make a great mother too! But I am so happy without them I think i'll leave it to all those who still need something else in their lives in order to what i feel already- fulfilled!

tabskitten

Oh and this is a great one from the MIL- takes me into a child clothes shop to show me this cute little girls outfit- and offers to buy it for me ''just in case''.

Glitzkiss

I'm in two minds whether or not to post this as I often word things in a way that makes sense to me but can be easily misconstrued by others. Here goes though...

I've never understood why people feel the need to judge others lifestyle choices. Be it sexual orientation, single or married, child or no child, number of children, high fashion or comfy jeans and t-shirt surely the only thing that counts is that we are comfortable with our decisions. Yes, I was told I would change my mind about not wanting children and yes it annoyed me but over the years I have found it easier to smile sweetly and change the subject. It has helped teach me tolerance and consequently I try not to make assumptions about others.

So a plea to some of my fellow CF posters. please stop assuming parents had their children to fill their lives. The irony was amusing at first but now it is annoying. I suspect most parents are like all my friends and family with children and had them simply because they wanted them. Just like we choose not to. It was a choice and one none of us should be castigated for no matter what we chose/choose.

Frugalista

Glitzkiss, I'm not sure I understand where you are coming from. In your five posts on this thread you have called for the thread to be locked; spoken of the thread being invaded; say that you now find the irony "annoying" and castigate CFBC posters for relating their own experiences and feelings when dealing with smug parents - yet you say each to their own and preach tolerance *confused smiley*.

My understanding was that the OP was asking if other people felt the same as her and had had the same experiences. People have responded honestly and openly about the hostility and/or suspicion they have had from others because of their lifestyle choice. It was also pointed out that this thread was a little unusual for this board and, as such, was an arena for people to talk about their decision to be child-free. I doubt very much that CF contributors are trolling the Trying to conceive or Pregnancy boards, so I can only assume that parents who are posting on here of their "indignation" about conclusions drawn from their choices are simply on this thread looking for an arguement .

PS: With all due respect, I don't remember voting you in as Thread Monitor . I, for one, am enjoying reading about everyones decisions to stay child-free - seems we are all very happy with our choices .

poorandindenial

Another CFBCer here. I haven't ever wanted children but recall when I was about 16 assuming that I would be married at 25 and have kids at 30, I also recall when I was about 17 realising that I didn't have to do this if I didn't want to (happy, happy day)

I have, like so many other posters on here, had some really nasty attacking comments from people that I have met, fortunately most of my friends are in the live and let live camp. My family think I am odd for being a CFBCer but then they think that most things I do are odd.

I also once had a comment from one woman who told me I was 'brave' for admitting that I wanted kids. She had stopped contraception and basically told me that she had done it because it was expected of her since she had got married and that she had never thought about whether she actually wanted kids or not. I have no doubt that she and her husband will be great parents, but it really struck me that the thought that she was having then was the same as the internal conversation I had with myself when I was 17. I suspect she hadn't given it much thought because she does actually want kids, I just thought it was funny that it hadn't occurred to her that she had a choice.

Mags_cat

Glitzkiss wrote: »

The thread started out as a support thread for the CF who have to cope with annoying comments questioning their decision not to have children.

Did it?

Jeez...I never knew I needed "support" in my child free choice I think I can stick up for myself!

I welcome the parents that have been posting in here - open forum, open house . I don't read the TTC or baby threads - purely because they don't interest me, but there's no way I'd be asking non-parents to stop posting in them.