Deep breath -

tandraig

jojo - hang in there hun. your daughter cannot be a fool. but, she is being played by a master. outwit him hun.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Two text messages. One confirming she had remembered her eye test appointment and one saying she didn't need glasses. Obviously enjoying life on the outside.

And one 10 year old who was happy for most of last week because she was actually getting unbroken sleep, but is now saying that she doesn't want her back ever if the boyfriend is on the scene, as she heard him say loads of stuff that made her hate him. I suspect that she is also very angry and hurt that her sister has chosen the boyfriend above an education, her friends, everyone else, but I can't see her sister giving a monkey's about that.

pigpen

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I will be waiting for her if she decides she wants me.

I'd second that.. it is all you can do..

My 15 y/o has some silly crush on a 24 y/o guy who is behaving inappropriately.. we have literally called the police and got it logged on advicce from a police officer.

Basically from what we can gather.. he is doing the 'I'm your only friend, I'll look after you, I'm always here if you need me' bull$h!t.. typical grooming pattern. He lays one lazy hand on my daughter i'll have sauteed and on toast!

Fortunately mine isn't as far down the destructive path as yours is.. but we were very much there with my oldest son.. they only thing you can do is make sure they know you are there, will always be there and keep offering the hand.. every time it gets bitten, pull it back, let it heal and offer it again.. The rejection stops hurting so much after a while.. but one day they take it.. maybe not this week or next week.. but they will.. don't burn any bridges just press gently on.

Teachers get a shock when they meet me too.. they expect me to be bigger.. think it is because my mouth is 5 sizes too big!

sp1987

Can you take her and the younger one out for the day somewhere? If you take both she may not think you are trying to surgically remove her from her boyfriend and dad could encourage it? You could even say you want to cheer the younger one up and would she come as the little one would ''love'' her big sister there as she looks up to and misses her (probably true)?

Whatever you do, do not try and be critical of the boyfriend as it will end in tears. Parents are either right or wrong about their children's choice of partner but invariably the conflict will end up in a damaged relationship between parent and child. Sometimes these are not easily fixed! I think if you concentrate on how you want her to be happy and help her to figure out what she wants from life she'll realise he only holds her back and drop him off somewhere along the line as he is heavy baggage!

When I have argued with my mother over varying things I have always wanted her to tell me she will support me whatever I want to do (I knew it, but I wanted to hear it?). Strangely enough it was only when I (very unexpectedly!!) fell pregnant that she actually said it. It made the world of difference.