Deep breath -

JBD

Sorry, I also have to agree with the previous 2 posters. Your daughter is over the age of consent, legally she can move out , She can live with her boyfriend if she wishes. He may not be your choice but he is hers. You just have to stand back and let her make her own mistakes, let her know you're there if she needs you. And try to keep a relationship open with her as much as possible.

trickytrolleys

Exactly Sam, my parents tried the same thing with my sister (8 years my senior) who also promptly moved out and never came back, I know now they all regretted it but the more they pushed the more she dug her heels in.

I was luckier in that, by the time I was that age, they had learned the hard way.

Totally agree that at that age you 'think' you know best - I honestly think you only become an adult the day you realise that your parents did actually know better than you and only had the best of intentions, unfortunately for most of us that day only comes when youre sat reminiscing about how stupid you were as a teenager

thatgirlsam

Errata wrote: »

The daughter may be nearly an adult but she's behaving like a child and clearly needs to be taught that actions have consequences.

unfortunatley she will probably have to learn from her own mistakes ..

im not pretending to know what its like having a teenager to deal with , i can only
speak from the point of view of being a 'difficult' teenager whos relationship with her mum
went wrong

poet123

Is this the lad who moved in with you when he had a row with his parents? At that time you seemed to be saying your DD would be the one to sort him out. Could he be having a detrimental effect on her? having no friends left rings massive alarm bells for me, and her behaviour at College must have been quite bad for them to give her a final warning, is it attendance or behaviour that she has been warned for?

Maybe after things have calmed down and she has had time to think she will see that she is behaving badly and putting her future at risk.

trickytrolleys

Errata wrote: »

The daughter may be nearly an adult but she's behaving like a child and clearly needs to be taught that actions have consequences.

I'd say she's behaving like a perfectly normal 17 year old, only life will teach her lessons now, parents can only try but she's too old to be grounded etc

Rikki

Thank god your ex has listened to you,can talk about it calmly and from the same point of view. It will make things so much easier.
I'm pleased he has taken a tougher stance than she was expecting and this is a wake up call to her.

Big Hug and I hope you get things shorted soon.

Rikki

trickytrolleys wrote: »

I'd say she's behaving like a perfectly normal 17 year old, only life will teach her lessons now, parents can only try but she's too old to be grounded etc

Many children don't act like that at seventeen or eighteen so I don't see it as normal teenage behaviour.

She is pushing the boundaries but looks like she has come unstuck.

thatgirlsam

Rikki wrote: »

Many children don't act like that at seventeen or eighteen so I don't see it as normal teenage behaviour.

She is pushing the boundaries but looks like she has come unstuck.

but many , many do !

at 17 i would not call her a child ...she is very nearly an adult

Morgan_Ree

Rikki wrote: »

Many children don't act like that at seventeen or eighteen so I don't see it as normal teenage behaviour.

She is pushing the boundaries but looks like she has come unstuck.

I imagine shes pushing the boundaries because she feels smothered!

i don't know many 17 year olds that have a 'bedtime' on a college night

Rikki

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

I imagine shes pushing the boundaries because she feels smothered!

i don't know many 17 years that have a 'bedtime' on a college night

I know one and one to come.