A man's view of dealing with unemployment and depression

Mutter_2

Hope you get seen soon SalesAddict, with all else going on it would be great to get this sorted.

I was thinking of your husband and the electrician business. It all sounds a lot to get up to date with.

I employed a Handyman recently who I found by Googling. he seems to make a decent living without breaking sweat. He does stuff such as putting up shelves or curtain poles.
Charges £70 for half a day. Thought it might be something else to consider when he feels better.

Your Dad sounds a gem and I hope for his speedy recovery.

ETA. I hope you don't have to downsize right now, moving is so stressful. Maybe you can make the savings necessary and move later if you want, not because you have to.

ninky_2

well done salesaddict. they don't sound like small steps they sound like quite bigs ones to me. and in the right direction. the biggest thing is you've both admitted that there is a problem of sorts and that you can't continue doing the same things and expecting the situation to change. no one has easy answers - not even professionals.

keep on going and don't worry if some of the things you try don't work. change is a great healer.

frostyspice

salesaddict wrote: »

...I am still not sure what exactly is causing the punchiness in him. He slurs his words and sways. I know Frostyspice equates this with secret drinking but I cannot smell it off him.

Actually my OH did this too when he hadn't (and couldn't have) been drinking, witnessed by friends and family as well as me. Sometimes he snapped out of it after a short nap - it was very weird. But as I said earlier in the thread, he is a drinker anyway.

Savvy Sue is right - you need to get this checked out by a doctor, and the Dr needs to have as much information as possible.

salesaddict

frostyspice wrote: »

Actually my OH did this too when he hadn't (and couldn't have) been drinking, witnessed by friends and family as well as me. Sometimes he snapped out of it after a short nap - it was very weird. But as I said earlier in the thread, he is a drinker anyway.

Savvy Sue is right - you need to get this checked out by a doctor, and the Dr needs to have as much information as possible.

Hi there,

yes we are going to my Doctors hopefully on Monday. He has to see the practice nurse to register first. Thanks again for all your help.

Brighton_belle

Hi salesaddict: agreeing to switch to your gp is both excellent baby steps and stunningly huge ones at the same time:T.
This is really really good. It also means you may get support for you for the situation from your GP if she has both of you as her patients. Do try and give her all the information she needs though - my OH put on a marvellous jolly performance the first time he went to my (his new) GP. Not to be deliberately awkward but out of embarrassment and also in his usual 'being polite when meeting people' mode, lol. Fortunately, my GP knows me well enough to read a bit between the lines but I had to fill her in a bit more on my own at a later date.

You have done so well to post your soa too.:T And to get as far as talking about the need to downsize. These are all the sort of small breakthroughs that worked for us and slowly slowly built into a snowball.

And thanks for saying my OP was helpful. It makes it worth the risk to post of one's own personal experiences. It is great to see the support for you on here and wonderful to read you taking ideas and suggestions on board.

salesaddict

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Hi salesaddict: agreeing to switch to your gp is both excellent baby steps and stunningly huge ones at the same time:T.
This is really really good. It also means you may get support for you for the situation from your GP if she has both of you as her patients. Do try and give her all the information she needs though - my OH put on a marvellous jolly performance the first time he went to my (his new) GP. Not to be deliberately awkward but out of embarrassment and also in his usual 'being polite when meeting people' mode, lol. Fortunately, my GP knows me well enough to read a bit between the lines but I had to fill her in a bit more on my own at a later date.

You have done so well to post your soa too.:T And to get as far as talking about the need to downsize. These are all the sort of small breakthroughs that worked for us and slowly slowly built into a snowball.

And thanks for saying my OP was helpful. It makes it worth the risk to post of one's own personal experiences. It is great to see the support for you on here and wonderful to read you taking ideas and suggestions on board.

Yes your post was so helpful and I am so grateful to you and everyone else. It is a really big thing to post your experiences because although we are anonymous on here it still feels like you are baring your soul at times, don't you think?

I think he is going to try to back track on the Doctors but I am going to be most insistent. The receptionist told me he will have to see the practice nurse first so I may try to go in and see the Doctor while he is in with the nurse. He is terrified about something going down on his medical notes that will then be used against him by some unnamed person or organisation. But aren't our medical notes private? Don't we have to give permission for them to be looked at?

I haven't acted on any of the changes that others on the DFW board advised me about on my SOA but I plan to do all that this weekend. I am just so concerned for my Dad at the moment and I have been spending time with him each evening after work. There is never enough hours in the day is there? Even just trying to get time to read the books that were recommended to me is going to be difficult. But I will just have to take my time and learn as much as I can.
Take care and I hope everything is going well for you and your oh.

ninky_2

regarding the medical notes - I do sort of know how he feels. yes, people do have to get permission to see your medical notes. but in some cases this is a condition of something you want from them. for example, if you are taking out medical or life insurance you will be expected to answer questions honestly and then there will be a clause that they are allowed access to your medical records to check you weren't lying. however, is your husband really suggesting he would rather battle on with a medical condition than possibly increase his premiums on some sort of mythical insurance he might want to take in the future? his life, and your future together, is worth more than that.

Savvy_Sue

I think ninky's put that very well.

~Yorkshire_Belle~

Hope it goes well today salesaddict

salesaddict

~Yorkshire_Belle~ wrote: »

Hope it goes well today salesaddict

Thanks Belle, but we could not get the appt until tomorrow.
I will let you know. I hope all is well with you.

xx