Invited to Ex's wedding - Problem with fiancee

SugarSpun

mumslave wrote: »

geez if i was the 'mad woman' I wouldnt be marrying a guy whom is insisting his ex whom he was exchanging flirty emails with, attends our wedding :O He would be out the door so fast his feet wouldnt touch the floor. You were exchanging suggestive emails with him, doesnt matter the timescale. She is well within her rights to not want you there. Learn from this.

Exactly - but if I were the bride I'd be telling the guy that he's welcome to insist that his ex attends - but if she does then I won't.

*Louise*

SugarSpun wrote: »

Exactly - but if I were the bride I'd be telling the guy that he's welcome to insist that his ex attends - but if she does then I won't.

I would do that as well......no way would I be putting up with the second best treatment the bride to be is getting.

Violetta_2

What were you going to sing anyway, wasn't this by any chance?
Maybe you could sing him a special song on his stag night!!!
I'm joking by the way. Let your ex go and marry the woman he loves in peace.

Pollycat

*Louise* wrote: »

In all honesty, if the OP had come on saying 'I made a mistake, how can I assure his fiancee she has nothing to worry about' instead of complaining about not getting to go then there would have been a totally different rection to this thread

Absolutely agree.

The OP has done nothing but bleat about how she's been misunderstood, how she thinks this woman isn't suitable for her ex, how upsetting and unfair it will be for her to miss this wedding, how awkward and embarrasing it will be for her to tell her relatives why she's not going,

And just can't see what she's done wrong.

A mega case of 'ME! ME! ME!

bylromarha

frannyann wrote: »

When I got married 14 years ago (and divorced 9 ago, but thats not relevent ) I had two ex-boyfriends there,

Ditto.

I got married 10 years ago to my lovely OH. My ex was the best man, another ex an usher, another ex a guest. I put a lot of importance on being friends in relationships, which is why I had 3 ex's at my wedding as they were all friends before relationships happening with them.

Best man (aka ex) and I hung out together A LOT before my wedding as we're great friends. Lots of banter between us - although none written down! We both knew it meant nothing and was just that - banter.

When Best Man got married 2 years later, his bride was a little cold with me at the start of the relationship as she knew history. However she was sensible enough to know our banter was just us being friends the way we always had been and to not get stressy about it. My OH knew we'd always been like that. Best Mans OH got used to us being the way we were, and still are sometimes as she learnt it meant nothing.

I would have been devastated and angry and spiteful if I'd been asked to not be at the wedding of such a good friend by his bride due to his ex status or our banter. Had it been the groom asking, then I'd still be devastated, but would respect his decision as I'd know it was better for their relationship.

Which is why I think the Ex is the one being annoying in this situation, not the bride. He is the one causing the friction by not rationally sorting the issue out with his bride and coming to a conclusion with her regarding the OP's attendance. OP seems stuck in the middle and shouldn't have to be in this position as it's for the couple to resolve.

LindseyandMatthew

If it was me I would not go, every bride looks forward to her big day but if she thinks you are going to be there she won't. I agree with other posters, if I was the bride I would tell him that you can go, but I won't....sorry

heynonnynonny

I agree with the majority here I'm afraid.

Goodness me, if I found suggestive and reminiscing emails to my partner from an ex I would be more than a little mad as well!

aliasojo

bylromarha wrote: »

I would have been devastated and angry and spiteful if I'd been asked to not be at the wedding of such a good friend by his bride due to his ex status or our banter. Had it been the groom asking, then I'd still be devastated, but would respect his decision as I'd know it was better for their relationship.

Imo, it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference who does the asking.....if your appearance was to cause any kind of upset to anyone, then that's all there is to it.

It's a wedding day after all, not just a party or a night out. Sorry.

dotstar24

think the OP should back the **** off. it's not your day so don't go and stop whinging! you're being a horrible friend to the groom, look at all the stress and upset you're both causing within his relationship with his fiance!

Morgan_Ree

You're lucky all you got from her was a few abusive emails!!

Nothing much else to add other than look at this as an opportunity to take a step back from your ex

Perhaps now you can finally start getting over him?